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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you don’t like dogs, don’t walk this route?

617 replies

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 06/11/2018 08:52

I’ve just been told off, aggressively, for having my dogs off lead.

We walk to school down a woodland path that is used by literally dozens of dog walkers, I counted fifteen other dog owners just on this walk, the vast majority off lead. There is nowhere on the length of the path that can’t be easily reached by a faster route, the path runs a winding way alongside a quiet road with a wide path.

Anyway, dogs, joggers and the odd cyclist all usually use the route along with pedestrians and it’s generally accepted that you’ll meet several dogs on the way. This woman, who I’ve not seen before, got right in my face and said ‘put your dogs on a lead, I don’t like dogs’.

I’m terrible at confrontation so just apologised and moved on.

But it’s really rattled me. Am I being unreasonable? One of mine is a bouncy 4month old lab, he’s well trained and doesn’t approach people or dogs unless I let him, but he is, as I say, bouncy and large so that might be why she picked on me and not the other dozen people she must have passed.

If I see her again (and have the nerve) wibu to suggest that she walks the other way round?

OP posts:
NameChanger22 · 06/11/2018 11:55

I am sure she was humiliated - people were laughing at her, including the owner of the dog.

Ruffina · 06/11/2018 11:58

OP, if your question involved an unleashed dog bothering or upsetting your dog the dog lovers would be all over the thread condemning the other person and their dog.

But because it's a person who objects to free running dogs in a public space, oh no, your reaction is just fine. And if it had been a child who was made anxious...well, that would have been the fault of the parents for not educating the child to love dogs.

The numbers of blinkered, entitled dog owners on MN - and elsewhere - is so depressing.

Why not just put all dogs on leashes in public spaces that are not designated for dogs? What could possibly be wrong with that?

Original poster
YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 06/11/2018 12:00

My other pooch is a chihuahua.

Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 06/11/2018 12:02

Doggos.

To think if you don’t like dogs, don’t walk this route?
To think if you don’t like dogs, don’t walk this route?
OP posts:
JuliaJaynes9 · 06/11/2018 12:02

I'm appalled that people would laugh at someone who is being attacked by a dog
dogs can do terrible damage they can kill people
what the fuck
the message sent by the dog owner and all the other people laughing is that dogs are above humans

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/11/2018 12:04

Yanbu. If your dog was going about his business and not jumping up etc then she had no right to say that.

You did nothing wrong.

stickytoffeepuddingandicecream · 06/11/2018 12:07

You were in the wrong, your dog should be on a lead on a public footpath.

I'm a runner, often go down paths, along the canal etc and people often let their "bouncy" dogs off their lead. I've had to shout at a few people to get their dogs under control after they jump up or chase me. I shouldn't feel frightened of your dog using a public footpath. Dogs should be on a lead and under control if in a public space end of.

WendyCope · 06/11/2018 12:10

My poor DD (10) just beginning walking herself to school. 'Bouncy' fucking dogs jumping at her and laddering her tights and making her dread the walk.

'Oh he won't hurt' well, he nipped at me and practically pushed DD over. She then has a dirty, soiled uniform.

YABU

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 06/11/2018 12:13

On the fence.

I don't like dogs (am a cat person, me) and I don't want them near me or my dc and don't want to walk past one that's pissing up a tree. I tend to give them a wide berth unless they're on a short lead (i.e. not one of those dreadful extendable things). With time I've come to be able to spot which are under control and which aren't, so an off-lead dog that's right by its owner or otherwise looks under control wouldn't bother me. I'll sometimes ask an owner to recall their dog, or I'll just stop and wait until they're past, and usually that's not a problem. I wouldn't tell you to put your dog on a lead just for the hell of it, iyswim.

nordlac · 06/11/2018 12:14

I've had to shout at a few people to get their dogs under control after they jump up or chase me

My poor DD (10) just beginning walking herself to school. 'Bouncy' fucking dogs jumping at her and laddering her tights and making her dread the walk

But OP's dog didn't jump up at or chase after anyone...?

This is like saying all dogs should wear muzzles because poorly trained ones can bite.

DarlingNikita · 06/11/2018 12:16

She sounds rude and aggressive. I'd have said 'Please watch your tone.'

I get that it's a public footpath and for everyone, but it also sounds as though there's almost an unspoken arrangement that it's somewhere people can let their dogs off the lead. That being the case, I think people who aren't keen on dogs could either walk elsewhere or just deal with it, TBH. (I'm assuming here that they're well-behaved and controlled and don't terrorise people!)

I don't much like the way small children and buggies sometimes monopolise the pavements in my neighbourhood, but they live here just like I do and so we all rub along. Even if that means I sometimes step into the road to let them pass/flatten myself against the wall as someone screeches up on a scooter/trike/get stuck behind a pavement full of toddlers and their parents ambling along. If it pisses me off too much I can take another route. I can't imagine getting in someone's face and telling them to control their child.

Ruffina · 06/11/2018 12:17

This is like saying all dogs should wear muzzles because poorly trained ones can bite.

Seems reasonable.

RandomUsernameHere · 06/11/2018 12:18

OP has said that her dog didn't go anywhere near the woman though. Of course it's not ok for dogs to chase/jump up to/scare other people but that is not what happened here.
I'm a runner too and find dogs on leads to be more problematic than dogs off the lead as the owners often let the dogs walk on the other side of the path the them so the lead is stretched across the whole width of the path!
OP YANBU

C8H10N4O2 · 06/11/2018 12:20

Other path users have no way of knowing that your bouncy, large labrador pup is well trained and won't jump up at them. There are far too many dogs off lead which are not trained.

I always use a lead on designated paths. Other users have a right to feel safe on paths as well.

JuliaJaynes9 · 06/11/2018 12:21

Bye laws requiring all dogs to be on leads and Wear muzzles would be a good idea
Preferably with signs prominently placed in public places

DarlingNikita · 06/11/2018 12:21

Other path users have no way of knowing that your bouncy, large labrador pup is well trained and won't jump up at them.

But it wasn't going anywhere near her. She approached the OP just to tell her to put it on a lead.

TabbyMumz · 06/11/2018 12:21

Just because you like dogs and walk that route doesn't mean she should walk a different route. If lots of pedestrians and cyclists also use that route I would suggest it's the wrong route for you to take your dog off lead. Just because you might be in the majority ie lots of digs in that area, doesn't mean you win. She has as much right as anyone to feel safe walking along that path.

JuliaJaynes9 · 06/11/2018 12:23

A dog on a lead walking quietly and calmly at the side of its owner is no problem for anyone

Giantbanger · 06/11/2018 12:25

I think that's the issue though - the dog wasn't walking calmly by the side of the OP. And the woman was afraid.

PrincessConsuelaBananahamm0ck · 06/11/2018 12:26

Sorry, YABU. I believe dogs who are being walked on public footpaths etc should always be on a lead. Just my personal opinion. However, she was very unreasonable for getting in your face and being aggressive about it. Maybe that's what's rattled you, rather than her opinion that your dog should be on a lead. She's rude.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/11/2018 12:28

I think YANBU.
I don't like dogs much but I recognise they have a right to be off-lead in places where that is allowed, and I recognise that a lot of people DO like dogs.
Therefore if I didn't like dogs, I would find an alternate route OR I would just try to stay out of the dogs' way.

IF your dog was a compulsive approacher of strangers, jump-upper or in any way intimidating or annoying to people who don't like dogs, then I'd say maybe you should keep the dog on the lead until that behaviour was curtailed; but if it didn't go near her then fuckit, she's a whinger and you should ignore her entirely.

BelindasRedPlasticHandcuffs · 06/11/2018 12:29

Dogs should be on a lead and under control if in a public space end of.

Fixed that for you. I absolutely agree that dogs shouldn't be running/jumping up to anyone and shouldn't be off lead without rock solid recall. But there is no reason at all for a well behaved, properly under control dog to be on a lead at all times.

The issue isn't dogs, it's bloody idiot owners that don't understand that not everyone thinks getting a hug from their dog is wonderful and adorable. I have family members that think good recall means the dog generally coming back reliably but needing to yell a few times if it's distracted. Or letting him jump up because he's being friendly. They don't dog sit for me and won't be allowed to in the future because I don't trust them to keep my puppy reliably under control in public (which at the moment means on lead) and stop him from learning bad habits.

Better regulation and training is needed for people that own dogs. It is simply too easy to pick up a dog with no previous experience and no intention to properly train or care for them, and that isn't good for anybody. But kicking off because a dog is bouncing around or playing in your line of sight (but nowhere near you) or expecting all dogs be on leads and muzzled is ridiculous.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 06/11/2018 12:30

If your dog is off lead, he should be at your side, and to heel, when other people pass. If he's not, he shouldn't be off lead.

I'm a dog person, but you can't expect everyone to be, or say that only dog people are eititled to use the path.

JuliaJaynes9 · 06/11/2018 12:32

I recognise they have a right to be off-lead
Do dogs have rights?
if dogs have right then which other animals have rights and why?

Do the rights of dogs come before the rights of people?
Does the dog's right to be off lead come before the rights of people not to be harassed by dogs?

akkakk · 06/11/2018 12:34

YANBU

Yabu. the rights of a person to use a pathway free from fear trumps your dogs right to be off lead.

No - this is so wrong - this is why our society is so messed up - because anyone thinks that their view trumps that of others... in any society there will be people with differing views on all matters - they have to get along... so you look at the actual reality of it...

women with fear of dogs - could she go a different way - yes
woman with dog - was it badly behaved / intrusive - no
therefore, no issue

there are boundaries - dog owners need to ensure that their dogs don't bite / are not threatening to others (clearly the OP has done that) - equally those with a fear of a dog (a perfectly legal and normal possession) need to sort out how to live life in a world where there are lots of dogs and it is totally unreasonable to expect others to change their lives to allow her to take no responsibility and do nothing about her fears - that is egocentric and part of what is killing society...