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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you don’t like dogs, don’t walk this route?

617 replies

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 06/11/2018 08:52

I’ve just been told off, aggressively, for having my dogs off lead.

We walk to school down a woodland path that is used by literally dozens of dog walkers, I counted fifteen other dog owners just on this walk, the vast majority off lead. There is nowhere on the length of the path that can’t be easily reached by a faster route, the path runs a winding way alongside a quiet road with a wide path.

Anyway, dogs, joggers and the odd cyclist all usually use the route along with pedestrians and it’s generally accepted that you’ll meet several dogs on the way. This woman, who I’ve not seen before, got right in my face and said ‘put your dogs on a lead, I don’t like dogs’.

I’m terrible at confrontation so just apologised and moved on.

But it’s really rattled me. Am I being unreasonable? One of mine is a bouncy 4month old lab, he’s well trained and doesn’t approach people or dogs unless I let him, but he is, as I say, bouncy and large so that might be why she picked on me and not the other dozen people she must have passed.

If I see her again (and have the nerve) wibu to suggest that she walks the other way round?

OP posts:
JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 10:06

@Deadbudgie my post (the one which prompted the multiple🤣 from you) was in response to the 'a dog is not meant to be on a leash' post from ferrier.
Her argument (when followed to its logical conclusion) is specious

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 10:11

@Lastminute, that is terrible you must be so upset.
It's the lack of remorse that's the real kick in the teeth isn't it
I've seen this so many times ....people almost look pleased that their dog is a good fighter when it attacks someone or something
what sort of dogs were they?

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 10:15

The argument was that dogs should be allowed to run free because it is not natural for a dog to be on a leash.
If we accept that a dog should be allowed to run free because this is its natural way of being then we also have to accept that we are wrong to keep dogs as pets because it is not natural for them.

if on the other hand you want to argue that (since dogs are now domesticated) it is natural for them to live in houses as pets for humans then it follows that is natural for the dog to be on a lead since being on a lead is a part of being a pet for a human

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 10:22

@Deadbudgie, you are 100-percent correct domestic dogs have been bred to live with humans, we shape dogs to be what we want them to be.

We can breed and choose calm well-behaved dogs which are perfectly happy walking to heel on a leash, or we can breed and choose boisterous dogs which annoy and intimidate

Dogs are human artefacts, they are what we want them to be

LastMinutePanicArgh · 09/11/2018 10:27

Thanks JuliaJaynes9. I don't know much about dogs - they were tall and skinny, almost a greyhound type shape but beige, taller and with bigger heads if that makes sense?! I called and called while all this was going on, but the owners were nowhere to be found at that point Angry

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 10:33

I did eventually find the owners. First they denied that it was their dogs because they hadn't let them out of their sight. Then they admitted the dogs had been off lead in the general area of my house. Then they told me it was my fault for having a garden dogs could access, although they went a bit quiet when I said the dogs had broken into the run. Zero remorse, zero sense of any responsibility

couple of times I've been attacked by a dog the very first thing the owner said was 'oh he's never done that before'
And I'm thinking yeah right 🙄
It's a script... like the proverbial cheating husband
Oh no my dog never does anything wrong

Vegetablegarden · 09/11/2018 10:40

I have to free run my dog once a week - without being outing he is a working dog.

I find it really stressful! He’s very friendly and needs this free run. Yet there is nowhere I can do this without him being around walkers, runners and even other dogs. There is a rough ground section that loads of people use to free run their dogs, I’d love it if it were a designated free run area even if it were two hours in the morning.

My dog really needs a good run and off the lead, the garden is not the right place, and I’ve been told it’s vital for his well being.

The worst complainers I’ve found are other dogs owners who take their dogs and mine is so friendly he wants to play.

I’d also hate it if my dog knocked over an older person, is there any way of getting a segregated area?!

MrMakersFartyParty · 09/11/2018 10:44

My child has a dog allergy so I'm always furious if a dog touches him and have to physically intervene. If I see a dog off a lead and it's in a public place and not a dog park and there's a chance it will come near my child I always say something.

Vegetablegarden · 09/11/2018 10:48

Just to say also my dog has been trained by experts. It’s the most well trained there is.

However he still needs to let loose, it’s a wellbeing thing. Not every day, once a week or fortnight. I’d get into trouble with hus trainers if I didn’t do it and the point is it’s 20 minutes for the dog to really run around. I can get him back on recall.

I spend AGES waiting for this patch of ground to be clear of others, before I let him off. And as soon as it’s clear I let my dog off and Lo and behold someone ambles around the corner! I don’t know what to do

To be honest this is not walking to heel, this should be done always on a lead, why wouldn’t you? You should only let the dog go free for very brief letting it all out runs. You never 100% trust them, and I tell you it’s a real danger for working dogs esp for the blind - they have loose dogs interfering with theirs and even been attacked.

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 10:49

@vegetablegarden, it sounds as if you have chosen a breed of dog which isn't compatible with your situation and circumstances?
bit like deciding to get a horse when you live in a flat and then complaining that there's nowhere for it to get enough exercise?

MrMakersFartyParty · 09/11/2018 10:53

There's a woman with a ridiculously sized dalmatian in a flat down my road, and she moans about having to take it the park where they aren't allowed off leads. I don't know why she bought the dog. Seems cruel.

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 10:58

I think the barriers to dog ownership are too low
it's too easy to get a dog whose needs are incompatible with your circumstances

PositivelyPERF · 09/11/2018 11:01

@vegetablegarden, it sounds as if you have chosen a breed of dog which isn't compatible with your situation and circumstances?
bit like deciding to get a horse when you live in a flat and then complaining that there's nowhere for it to get enough exercise?

Oh my holy fuck JuliaJaynes9, you read everything that Vegetablegarden had to say about her dog and that’s the best you can come up with?! It is a working dog. That means it will have been chosen for the work it does BECAUSE of it’s breed. Vegetablegarden is doing everything she can and is still getting spurious abuse for it from those that know fuck all about dogs.

Vegetablegarden it sounds really tough for you, but you can only do your best. If it isn’t an onlead area, then try not to let the precious brigade get to you. Your dog sounds lovely.

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 11:04

@PERF, vegetablegarden is responsible for a dog but she is not in a position to provide for the needs of that dog
Something is wrong there surely?

PositivelyPERF · 09/11/2018 11:08

Something is wrong there surely?

Do you suggest that the person that needs the WORKING DOG, goes without, because the council doesn’t provide a dog park? Dogs for people with disabilities need of lead. That is part of the deal. Something is wrong, but that’s neither the fault of the working g dog or the person that MUST let them have of lead exercise. Have you any practical suggestions?

PositivelyPERF · 09/11/2018 11:12

BTW, I would absolutely love it if all parks that were used by dog owners has a specific of lead, fenced in dog park. I’m happy to walk my dogs on lead around the rest of the park, but they really do need of lead, to get proper exercise, in order to prevent unwanted behaviour from frustration. It’s also brilliant for their physical/mental health and socialisation. I don’t want to be near anyone that doesn’t like/is afraid of dogs anymore than they want me there. Frankly I can do without the dramatics that some display.

Vegetablegarden · 09/11/2018 11:19

@positively No I have a large garden, fenced in and safe. This is one of the requirements and I do let the dog out there but it’s not what he needs. He needs a big field once a week for 20 minutes. Big field! The breed of dog is specially chosen and is suitable. Because they are working dogs, and have to curtail their instincts a lot and concentrate, they build up a certain amount of stress, so do really need to run it off. Think like a drug sniffer dog for example - but they have big training compounds that can be used to let loose.

I’m trying not to be too outing but I am vetted by the organization that provides the dogs, it’s a very respected organization, they will not give you a dog if you do not look after it / live somewhere suitable.

My trainers have tried to help me try to get around the free run problem, which most of us have, by going at very quiet times, very early, definitely out of school times, etc but it doesn’t totally solve it. There are some areas where ground is designated for dogs. Just not my area.

The other problem is my dog has been bred / socialized and as much as you can, is not aggressive in any way. But the other free run dogs sometimes are! So another problem.

I also totally agree that walking to heel free without a lead is not good practice, it’s a bit sloppy and if that dog ran into the road or went up to a blind persons dog you’d be putting others in danger.

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 11:19

@Perf, I don't know enough about the situation to say, if this is this is working dog then what kind of working dog could it be?
A police dog a farm dog a guide dog?
I don't know why she is in a position where she requires the services of a working dog that needs a lot of exercise but she doesn't have access to a suitable area to exercise the dog

Vegetablegarden · 09/11/2018 11:22

For what it’s worth I think I should try and work with the council to get a specific area, or certain times, maybe as the last thing I want is to disturb other people. My organization would help.

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 11:22

I am vetted by the organisation that provides the dogs
So they vetted you because you were able to provide what the dog needs, but it turns out that you aren't able to provide what the dog needs
Is that correct?

Vegetablegarden · 09/11/2018 11:25

@julie it’s not really exercise, I exercise my dog every day. It’s more wellbeing and running really fast to get a good cardiac workout too.

Vegetablegarden · 09/11/2018 11:26

@julie no they don’t say you have to live with exclusive access to a 4 acre field!

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 11:29

But still @vegetablegarden, they vetted you because your circumstances are suitable for the dog
However you are saying that you can't provide for the dog's needs
So you were incorrectly vetted?

Vegetablegarden · 09/11/2018 11:31

Yes we did find the best free run area with my trainers, who are amazing help I have to say. They go with you, help with any problems, talk about issues. So I go in the best available area we have.

It’s an issue though. Not huge but not ideal for anyone I’m not alone. I don’t want to cause any inconvenience to anyone else. I go very early in the week tbh. And I’m very careful. And most of the time there’s no problems at all, except I’m just really aware it’s a public area.

JuliaJaynes9 · 09/11/2018 11:32

I'm sure we can agree that large dogs need a lot of exercise for their well-being
It does not follow from this that it is ok to get a large dog and let it run around and annoy people