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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asking wedding guests to pay?

9 replies

Sparkingfizzing · 05/11/2018 21:26

Wondering what the thoughts about this are following the other thread. I never thought it was an issue but I'm now wondering if it actually was...

When we got married, people were invited for 3 days but it was up to them whether they stayed for all of them. It was in the middle of nowhere so people probably had to stay for at least one night and the only place to stay was the hotel where we got married. Don't worry - the three days weren't full of lots of organised "fun" activities.

We hired the whole hotel as it was by far the best value. It's not as showy as it sounds.

If guests stayed for all 3 days (most did) they would also have had to pay for 4 meals so overall the cost for each guest would have been about £400.

Instead we asked guests to pay £25 each for both nights and all meals (which they chose). Obviously they could say no but this was lots cheaper than paying for just one night. We didn't ask a couple of people who we knew would struggle.

We asked for them to pay mainly as some of my family members would have booked but not turned up. Asking them to pay a token amount meant they had to commit (or not, as it was).

But yes, the money they paid did help to pay for the wedding. But equally, it saved the guests money.

In full disclosure, a lot of guests had to travel across the UK which we didn't subsidise.

Was asking people to pay anything grabby?

OP posts:
Sparkingfizzing · 05/11/2018 21:27

To be clear: we asked the guests to pay £25 in total.

OP posts:
AliceRR · 05/11/2018 21:30

Was it one of those deals where you had to pay to have exclusive use of the hotel or a number of rooms?

If so I think it is fine to pass on the cost to your guests and you are generous if you are only charging £25 but it cost you £400 per person. Is that right?

ClashCityRocker · 05/11/2018 21:34

A £400 break for £25?

I wouldn't have a problem with that. In fact, it would be great.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 05/11/2018 21:35

Not grabby at all. In fact it sounds very generous!

MeredithGrey1 · 05/11/2018 21:35

So the £25 was instead of them having to pay for accommodation and food? I think since typically I wouldn’t expect to stay for free for a wedding, as soon as I found out I’d been invited I’d have mentally factored in a cost for accommodation so would personally have been more than happy to get it for £25.

I guess some people might look at it like charging a ticket price for your wedding and think it’s a bit cheeky but really I’d see it as the other way round, you were subsidising your guests staying.

RagingWhoreBag · 05/11/2018 21:36

Sounds a bit pointless to only charge them £25 each, surely it can't have anywhere near covered the cost?

However, for 3 night accommodation and 4 meals your guests got a massive bargain, so certainly not unreasonable of you to ask them for a contribution.

I'm assuming anyone who didn't want to pay the £25 would have just gone home anyway, but I'd certainly have taken you up on the 3 day stay.

Sparkingfizzing · 05/11/2018 21:36

Alice, we had a choice of exclusive use (which was what we chose) or just the wedding and I think 3 rooms.

It definately would have cost us more than £25 a person for exclusive use.

OP posts:
AliceRR · 05/11/2018 21:42

I think it sounds fine and I wouldn’t mind paying £25 for the 2 nights (or 3 if it’s 3) and meals

If you didn’t pay £25 or more per person then I think it might be cheeky to charge it

LostInShoebiz · 05/11/2018 22:04

Sounds like a great deal. I’d be made up with that as a destination wedding arrangement.

In a similar vein, would people find it cheeky to ask them to pay £10 total for a hen night including an activity and drinks?

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