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To not think this is ‘snakey’?

11 replies

Stubbornuincorn · 05/11/2018 16:39

Had a bit of a row with a close friend today.

A good mutual friend of ours (and colleague of said friend) applied for a promotion and got it.

Friend didn’t know about the job opening so didn’t apply.

Friend phoned me last night fuming because other friend hadn’t told her about the job opening, said she was a snake, wanted to keep the competition down etc. She also said she had asked other friend at drinks last weekend about job/promotion plans and other friend said she had none.

I said I didn’t think she was being sly. Tbh if it were me I wouldn’t want others applying if it would reduce my chance so I’d keep quiet. The job was advertised anyway so friend could have searched for it if she’d wanted.

Anyway apparently I’m sly and sneaky too and friendship is more important.


OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 05/11/2018 16:44

Nope, not snakey. The job was advertised. Anyone who made the effort could see it. Friends might be important and so are careers

NRPDad · 05/11/2018 16:45


Unfortunately lots of people would react like your friend.

I'm surprised the company doesn't advertise vacancies internally or it wasn't discussed in the team at all that a higher level opening was available.

TeddybearBaby · 05/11/2018 16:48

I wouldn’t go out of my way to mention it but I wouldn’t deny applying / it’s existence if asked. I’d she was a good friend I’d 100% tell her but then I value friendship and family above everything.

Stubbornuincorn · 05/11/2018 16:53

Hmm maybe I was being a bit harsh then

OP posts:
TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 05/11/2018 16:54

She also said she had asked other friend at drinks last weekend about job/promotion plans and other friend said she had none.

Tbf ^ this was a bit snakey but I could see why she didn't mention the opportunity if she saw your friend as competition.

Hengine · 05/11/2018 16:54

Maybe she didn’t want to say in case she didn’t get it and would be embarrassed

Hengine · 05/11/2018 16:55

I think I’m the circumstances I might mention the opportunity but not admit I’d apppied

Stubbornuincorn · 05/11/2018 16:57


I hadn’t even thought of that! It is a good point actually because when I applied for the role I’m currently in I didn’t mention it to that many people in case I didn’t get it (although I did tell angry friend).

OP posts:
JuniorDetective · 05/11/2018 18:21

Your friend doesn't have a duty to tell the other friend about job openings that they both might be interested in.

That said, I would tell certain friends but not others in the same situation - for example, one friend has been helpful to me career wise before and I wouldn't hesitate to tell her even if it means being in direct competition.

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/11/2018 18:50

"She also said she had asked other friend at drinks last weekend about job/promotion plans and other friend said she had none."
I probably wouldn't mention it either! What if I didn't get the promotion? I'd rather lick my wounds privately, not have people go 'Aw, too bad!' every time they saw me.

Have to say, your friend who says that you're "sly and sneaky too and friendship is more important" - well, if friendship is so important to her, why isn't she pleased that your mutual friend has won a promotion? Friendship really doesn't sound that important to her IMHO.

Racecardriver · 05/11/2018 18:53

Maybe she didn’t mention it because she didn’t think she would get it. Tbf if your friend isn’t motivated enough to look out for promotions I doubt she would be serious competition.

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