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Help re my very ill father in hospital - AIBU

28 replies

Nonky · 05/11/2018 16:34

I’m not sure if this should be AIBU or not. My father is in Hospital awaiting a triple bypass after heart attacks and pneumonia last week. He is very scared and a very proud man. He has had pretty much constant care from me or my sister over the last week as my mum is disabled but we just cannot keep up it up. He refuses to let the nurses help him as he is embarrassed as he wets and soils himself every half an hour. My sister and I have been nursing him and doing things for him that I never thought I would have to do and I am fine with that but (and I know this makes me sound selfish) we have our own children and jobs and we just can’t carry on. My dad has begged us not to leave him. He could be here for another two weeks as he’s not on the urgent bypass list tho cannot go home. My friend who is a nurse said i had to show tough love and leave him to realise that the nurses will help and that it actually doesn’t matter if he soils himself. What would you do? I just want to do the right thing by my family

OP posts:

Annandale · 05/11/2018 22:39

Not exactly cleaning up shit 24/7, but monitoring their patients' functioning, yes! How is a care plan supposed to be put in place if the team don't know how often the patient needs personal care? And if he has diarrhoea, how are the team supposed to know whether the treatment for it has worked?


Nonky · 06/11/2018 07:07

Thank you all again. I slept properly last night for the first time in ages and feel able to cope with the rest of it a bit more. I know the nurses were great with him overnight and he is now over the needing me to do it purely just because he HAD to ask someone else. I hadn’t even thought about the importance of the nurses doing if for their own observations etc but I can see the importance now which shows how important stepping back from a situation can be and just resting in order to make sensible informed decisions. Thank you for all your kindness and lots of love to anyone else going through a similar thing x

OP posts:

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 06/11/2018 15:23

I’m very glad Smile

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