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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to keep making the effort

6 replies

stargazing85 · 05/11/2018 16:17

Me and DH live approx 30 minutes away from my family and approx 20 minutes away from his family. On Christmas Day we usually alternate which family we have lunch with but will always visit the family we're not having lunch with and again on Boxing Day we will have lunch with the family we didn't have Christmas lunch with. As you can imagine this is quiet busy. This year as me and DH will have our third dc only a few weeks old I suggested to my family they visit me and DH and our dc Christmas morning before we leave for my inlaws for lunch and we would visit them on Boxing Day for lunch. My mum told me they'd just see us on Boxing Day when we pop over as my dad would be quiet tired Christmas morning from working Christmas Eve. I feel this is a very poor excuse not to make the effort to see us on Christmas morning considering they are only having dinner for them and my brother no other relatives. I also work Christmas Eve most years as does my DH but we don't use that as an excuse to not visit people on Christmas Day. AIBU to tell them we won't be visiting on Boxing Day this year as I'm getting tired of always being the one to make the effort. My parents haven't been to my house since May yet I've been to them at least 10 times. For my birthday they posted a card whereas for their birthdays I visited with their card and made the effort with cake ect. They drive so I'd understand a bit more if they didn't as it would be a bit awkward to get from theirs to mine without a car .

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/11/2018 16:20

Just say you're not going with a newborn and stay at home. Have a nice Xmas!

Spaghettijumper · 05/11/2018 16:22

Tell the whole lot of them that you're not moving out of your house for Christmas and if they want to see you they know where you'll be. Don't be running around the place in the cold with a tiny baby!

Travis1 · 05/11/2018 16:25

I wouldn't go to the in laws either tbh. I'd have an open invited for people to visit Christmas morning and then do the rest of the day just you, DH and the DCs. Start a new tradition that doesn't involve traipsing 3 kids out for basically 2 days after you've given them a shit load of new stuff to play with,.

MrsStrowman · 05/11/2018 16:25

I'll have a new born this Christmas, I've told everyone I'm not moving and I'm not cooking for a house full (hosted ten last year) , if people want to pop by they are welcome, but I won't get my knickers in a twist if they don't. Will be our first lazy Christmas, quite looking forward to it

Santaisgettingbusy · 05/11/2018 16:27

Time to put yourself first op. Home for the entire festive week would be my plan in your busy shoes!!

Iloveacurry · 05/11/2018 16:27

Sod the lot of them and stay at home.

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