Tutoring

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I used to teach, and now occasionally tutor (not for money). Currently working with a young lad through a family friend and he is 16 (I think) and his mum doesn't stay with him when I tutor him. I normally have another family member here, but they will no longer be here from next week.

I have had problems with a really nasty parent when I was teaching accusing me of horrible things, so am very wary now of mums. (Sorry, I know most Mums are lovely, but you have no idea what damage a malicious allegation does to a dedicated teacher. )

Its awkward because my relationship with woman is a friend, but if I say things like you need to stay while I teach him, it brings an element of distrust into the equation that to my mind doesn't need to be there and wouldn't but for the past bad experience.

Would appreciate thoughts on this. I love helping anyone with literacy problems and I know that this age group can get very lost in the GCSE bloodbath. (He has SEN difficulties) but now wishing I hadn't volunteered.

Am I over worrying or what advice would you give?

I tutor and have never had a parent stay. I think you probably are overthinking it but I understand why.

Regardless of whether you are tutoring on a voluntary or commercial basis, you have the right to refuse tutoring certain pupils if their parents are unreasonable.

Continue tutoring if you enjoy it. It's highly unlikely that all parents will be nice and just as unlikely that all of them will be nasty. Most likely most will be reasonable and some will be nasty. Just remember why you are doing it and continue if you enjoy it. And keep reminding yourself that you always have a choice to show the door to anyone, who doesn't want to be tutored by you or doesn't appreciate it.

BTW, my son had tutors and we only ever stayed for the first lesson. It was never because we worried about tutors' behaviour or anything like that. We just wanted to get a feel of how the lessons are structured and how effective they are. Once we were satisfied, we just dropped off our son and left him with the tutor for his lessons and then picked up at the end.

I'd just explain that you have a blanket rule of not being alone with your students due to a bad past experience, and now that the other person who is normally home with you won't be there any more you'll need her to stay. Is going to their house an option? Might be a bit awkward for her just sitting waiting in your house.

Can you record the tutoring sessions - either using a webcam or just audio?

I teach and have tutored. I would never put myself in the situation you describe; it's not worth the risk.

I think that you need to have a gentle conversation with the mum. Does she know about the accusation? If so you could frame it as being an issue you have rather than it being about her son. If not then you need to explain that there are risks on both sides and that you wouldn't want your friendship unnecessarily complicated

Thankyou responses were helpful

Regardless of whether you are tutoring on a voluntary or commercial basis, you have the right to refuse tutoring certain pupils if their parents are unreasonable.

They don't even have to be unreasonable. They have no right to make you tutor them. If you don't want to tutor someone, for whatever reason, or no reason at all, that's your right.