Hi everyone, this is my first time posting on here. I have a very serious problem that all came to a head last night and I am fearful for mine and my family’s safety. I will try not to drip feed so I apologise if I do, and will try to keep this as short as possible. If you have any questions or if I haven't been clear about something, please ask.
For background; my family and I moved to the South of France 16 years ago (I am 23 years old), my grandparents bought a large house and all of us (my grandparents, my mother, brother and I, and my aunt) all have our own living quarters within the house. My aunt has been problematic since a young age, she’s got multiple mental health issues but these were never addressed by herself or by her mother (my grandmother), so things have got worse over the years. She is not allowed into any part of the house apart from her own apartment, as she regularly steals from us and breaks property.
She is now very aggressive, confrontational, threatening, smashes the house up on a regular basis and basically just scares the crap out of us all. The next day, she is full of regret and “it’ll never happen again” but this whole situation happens very regularly and has ruined a great deal of our lives. The rest of the family do not speak to her at all and actively stay away from visiting us, due to her. She has not had a job in over 20 years, she looked after my grandmother (who had a stroke) but we have now put my grandmother in a home as she was being physically and mentally abusive towards her, also.
Last night everything reached a head. To put it briefly:
- My mother and her boyfriend were away at a family member’s birthday party, about 4 hours away from our home.
- My aunt was aggressive to my boyfriend (DP, 27 years old) and I from first thing in the morning, so we went out.
- When we came back to the house later that evening, the neighbour was at our house with my aunt, as he had towed her car back to our house. He found her in a ditch on the side of the road, she was driving drunk on the main road and he said he thought the whole situation was very dangerous and he was worried to leave us.
- My DP and I locked ourselves in our part of the house, but my aunt started yelling abuse at us and tried to break in.
- I decided I wanted to leave, so we packed a bag and ran to the car.
- In the meantime, my aunt broke into the house through a double-glazed window, climbed through the window, severed a main artery in her wrist and poured/smeared blood all over the house, it genuinely looks like a horror scene.
- I was on the phone to my mother who was around 2 hours away at this point, she phoned the police and my DP and I drove to the end of the road to wait for them.
- The police arrived and immediately called for backup, went into her apartment and there was a lot of screaming, got her downstairs into the drive (where we were) and she immediately tried to physically attack my DP and I, multiple times, in front of the police.
- I’m pretty sure that she assaulted at least one of the police officers. They were trying to take statements from us and calm her down before taking her away, during which time she hurled constant abuse at my DP and I that made no sense, we truly believe that she has completely lost her mind. She threatened mine and my DP's lives multiple times.
- She needed to be fully restrained and was dragged off by the police and held for 6 hours.
- I have never before seen her this bad, she felt no pain whatsoever, nothing could stop her and she had/has no conscience left at all.
We found out this morning that the police actually took her straight to the hospital because of her wrist, she had an operation and is being kept in tonight. My mother went to the hospital this morning to try and get her sectioned in a psychiatric ward/hospital/home but it’s not that easy in France and she’s expected to be back at the house tomorrow.
My DP and I are not comfortable living in the same house as my aunt, as we are genuinely fearful for our safety at this point; we have somewhere to go, so that’s all sorted and absolutely fine.
My mother has agreed that my aunt cannot live in this house and is taking steps to ensure that she won’t come back, but I do not believe that this will happen. The house is my grandmother’s, therefore my aunt legally has some claim to it and she has absolutely nowhere to go. My mother is prepared to pay her monthly to stay away, again, I don’t think that my aunt will take this deal as it has been offered to her in the past and she has refused.
I’m not looking for advice for my aunt, as our entire family have tried everything under the sun throughout her entire life and nothing has worked, as she refuses to believe that there is anything mentally wrong with her and believes that everyone else in the world is the problem. By all means, if anyone has any suggestions then please do, but it’s pretty much a lost case.
I’m looking for advice for my family, my DP and I. How can we get over this behaviour? How can we feel safe in our own home again? How can we ensure that this abusive behaviour does not affect our own sanity and our own lives? My DP and I are currently buying a house and should hear back very soon and will not be giving her our address, but our work office is in the family home, so we will never fully escape my aunt as long as she is still living here. I find myself looking over my shoulder, being scared of noises during the night and just constantly on edge, waiting for another of my aunt's outbursts.
If anyone has been in a similar situation/has any advice for us etc, anything at all, it’ll be extremely appreciated as I am truly scared and at a loss as to what to do. Thank you.