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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared to move to the uk

70 replies

Ceci03 · 05/11/2018 13:57

Am single mother, and am living in ireland, but am fed up with housing situation here. rents have completely spiralled. I'm going to have to move again, 4th time in as many years, as the apartment I'm in has been re-possessed. Anyway, I think my best bet would be to move to the uk, but I'm scared of the move. I'm scared of uprooting my very happy 10 year old ds. Who loves where we live and has lots of friends and is very content. I'm worried about the future here. Where I will be living. Also my parents are elderly and will be devastated cos they live near me atm. Am scared of moving and it not working out. Have a good life here, except no house or secure place to live. WWYD

OP posts:
Caselgarcia · 05/11/2018 14:02

In Ireland you have family and your son is happy although your housing situation isn't good. In the UK, you don't have family, support or housing. I would stay. If you were single I would think differently though.

BigChocFrenzy · 05/11/2018 14:11

Aren't there cheaper areas you can find within Ireland ?
You'd still have a quicker journey to your family, rather than flight or ferry schedules and fares

Also, are you self-supporting financially ?
because contrary to popular belief, accessing benefits for the first time in the UK can be very stressful and take ages, especially in a Universal Credit area.
With a child aged 10, you would be expected to work

Best solution is keep hunting for places near your family.
Any chance you could pay rent to lodge with a relative you really get on with ?

nomorenonsence · 05/11/2018 14:11

the housing situation in the UK is awful too with people having to move often when rents go up. I really feel for you and your son. As the previous poster daid at least in Ireland you have some support. In the UK it wouldn't be any easier and you'd have no support. Awful country at the moment. I really hope it changes soon.

user1981287 · 05/11/2018 14:12

Why do you think things would be better in the UK?

NotAQueef · 05/11/2018 14:12

Why do you think it would be a good idea to move to the UK? Do you have a job lined up? Support system?

Cranky17 · 05/11/2018 14:14

Renting in the UK is utter shit, rents go up, you get moved on. You don’t get your deposit back in time to put a deposit on somewhere else

puzzledlady · 05/11/2018 14:15

What has led you to believe a life in the UK will be better? Have you got a job lined up etc?

Original poster
Ceci03 · 05/11/2018 14:17

Yes I have a good job. Have been job hunting 'up north' in UK where house prices are cheaper. I wouldnt be able to buy anywhere straight away but might have a chance of getting a mortgage. More chance than i do in ireland. Basically I will never ever own my own home in ireland. Am scared about retirement.

OP posts:
LadyGrey66 · 05/11/2018 14:28

Where are you thinking of moving to? You say UK - do you mean NI or northern England?

Wazznme · 05/11/2018 14:33

Do you work OP?

Original poster
Ceci03 · 05/11/2018 14:34

Yes I have a good job. Am looking at jobs around York, or somewhere in Northern England where houses are cheaper? I was born in UK, but have lived in ireland since I was 7.

OP posts:
Wazznme · 05/11/2018 14:36

Ok. London would be a nightmare. For e.g. a one bed flat in my area (not a particularly nice area) is upward of £1k a month. Two bed which you'd need, is through the roof.

Northern England might be better and more doable. Have you checked out salaries for your job in Northern England. Try cvlibrary, reed.co.uk, monster and Indeed.

Wazznme · 05/11/2018 14:38

Also, bear in mind, the school system over here is entirely different, but you obviously know that if you were here until you were 7. Are your folks Irish or English? Might you have other extended family over here?
All in all, unless you're mega into trad Irish stuff, I find England nicer. Well London (for me). Never lived up North.

Wazznme · 05/11/2018 14:39

Maybe post specifically asking for information about schooling in York in a separate thread.

dingdongdigeridoo · 05/11/2018 14:41

Sadly, the situation isn’t much better in the UK. We’ve moved 5 times in 7 years and my child with SEN has had to change schools because of our rental places being sold. This means we’ve had to spend lots of our savings on moving expenses and other extras rather than putting them away for a deposit. It’s grim. If you find an area that’s cheap and half decent, there’s always the chance it’ll become desirable and that’s when the rents go up. To be honest, I’d rather stay close to family, so even if things are shit there’s a support network.

Wazznme · 05/11/2018 14:41

Also, your timing might not be the best right now. So I'd wait until Brexit has happened and settled down so you know how the land lies.

sayanythingelse · 05/11/2018 14:43

I'm surprised that you'd consider York cheap. I think it's pretty expensive.

We've just moved from Leeds to the North East because housing is cheaper. I can't say it's very nice though Hmm

Marylou2 · 05/11/2018 14:44

Be very careful about thinking House prices in the North are cheaper. Do you actually know these areas? Like anywhere you can drive a couple of miles and prices will triple but for a good reason. Have you thought what a difference Brexit might make? Also my boss a very smart, senior professional woman told me she experiences anti-Irish sentiment even now in the UK. I was horrified but I’d hate that to be a reality for you or your child. I do think it might be quite rare though.

SuchAToDo · 05/11/2018 14:46

Move to Northern Ireland (its part of uk), you still have the irish culture but with all the benefits of living in the uk, and you get to be among irish people and irish culture so it's less of a upheaval for you and your son and it's only a car ride or bus ride to visit any family and friends

nomorenonsence · 05/11/2018 14:47

I find the anti-irish sentiment so hard to face up to as I am of irish descent myself and live in an area with a high irish disporia and experiance anti-catholic sectarianism however this is probably just anti-irishness in another guise.

mollymcguire · 05/11/2018 14:54

I'm southern Irish living in uk 2 years now. One of my boys is same age as your lad? We moved to Liverpool and love it, both of us have great jobs and our kids have settled massively in school,
My best advice is to move to an area of high Irish expats, we made the mistake of moving to a military town and it was horrific, moved to Liverpool 6 weeks ago and for the first time since we moved to the uk we found home, treated like royalty here, we have never been as happy

LadyGrey66 · 05/11/2018 14:56

Would you consider Northern Ireland instead? The housing is hugely affordable, excellent schooling and you’d be able to travel by car or train to your family. The jobs market isn’t fantastic, but it’s picking up all the time and certain sectors (eg tech) are flying.

Annasgirl · 05/11/2018 14:58

Could you not move somewhere else in Ireland like Sligo, Cork or Athlone? All have lots of industry but easy to find accommodation. Just a thought. Ireland isn't just Dublin (or Cork or Galway).

Jaxhog · 05/11/2018 15:01

Slightly confused. Do you have a good job now in Ireland, or in the UK? If Ireland, it would seem madness to move yourself to a new country, away from your support system when you are a single mother.

Rudgie47 · 05/11/2018 15:04

York is very,very expensive for housing OP even on the outskirts.Theres a big housing shortage there as well which means obviously that the market is kept up.I'd think again about somewhere cheaper and if you can stay where you are then I would do. Its not that great here.