Why do some people i.e. me age faster than others?

[kismetqueen]

I am in my early 40's and my looks really are on a downward spiral. I keep fit, eat a plant based diet and look after my skin and hair but while my figure is decent my face is awful, my eye bags are getting worse and worse each year and nothing can fix them except maybe surgery I can't afford.

On one hand I do accept its just a normal part of getting older and that I have to accept it and I look around at my peers and can see most of them are also getting more wrinkles etc but then a few hardly seem to change at all and look much as they did 15 or 20 years ago.

I have a friend who is my age (41) and has no wrinkles at all, no crows feet, no forehead lines, no nose to mouth lines just lovely plump youthful skin which has never changed in the all the time I have known her. The only real difference in our skins is that she has always used spf she certainly doesn't use any treatments like botox or filler as she could not afford them and I would know as I see her several times a week.

Why does aging happen at different ratesonce your out of your 20's some (like me) age over night but others stay the same for decades? Is it just genetics or do they have some secret practice like bathing in the blood of virgins?

A lot of it is about attitude and lifestyle. People who are happy, active, live a "young" life, dress young and stay well groomed (but not over made up)tend to give the impression of looking young, when close up that doesn't bare scrutinty

Exercise?

Thanks Ghost! Eeek I have been using that one by itself for about 5 years.. I’m 27 and I don’t spend a huge amount of time outdoors but I am so self conscious when it comes to protecting my skin.

I’m going to buy that one from boots I’m so glad for Mumsnet!

Looking younger than your years is not that important, and doesn't extend your life

Unfortunately, we live in an ageist society and you’ll be taken more seriously in the workplace if you look younger .... but not too young, of course. I work in a very looks-heavy industry and not only do most of the women dutifully get Botox and dye their hair (it’s seen as nothing more than getting your teeth fixed) but the men get Botox and use hair plugs. Could definitely add years to your working life.

Also at the people who think exercise keeps wrinkles at bay. Some light exercise is good for circulation but having extra fat in your face can make you look years younger.

Look at Kate Middleton. Years of extreme dieting have really aged her. You can’t fully fix that with fillers. Long-distance runners also often look drawn and withered, despite their extremely healthy lifestyle.

Genetics mainly then lifestyle.

My Father died when he was 84 and had only a few lines. I remember the hospice nurse saying he had the most lovely skin of any older person she had ever nursed. He was also teetotal and avoided contact with the sun.

Avoiding the sun was a cultural thing as being paler was deemed higher class. Some Chinese and Japanese women wear wide brimmed hats and use parasols.

I'm not teetotal but rarely drink and have had a lifetime of avoiding the sun. Also had a lifetime of a mixed English and Asian diet my Mum was a good but plain cook that despised ready meals and I also ate lots of rice and fish and my Dad taught me how to cook decent Asian food.

My Dad was a great believer in napping and walking a couple of miles every day but never more than fifteen minutes for a nap. I used to keep a sleeping bag in my office and nap at lunchtime with the door locked. Then I would get up and walk for thirty minutes.

@Perfectpeony I wear a dedicated SPF50 facial sunscreen under my makeup. Foundation is not adequate protection. You need a nickel-sized dollop for your face alone, which is far more foundation than most people would wear. I pick a sunscreen that is lightweight and not greasy (Alpha H).

Sun, smoking, and losing a lot of weight past 50. The last one is really unkind.

Thanks violet I will have a look at that! I can’t believe I haven’t done something sooner.

Adverse that’s amazing- I think we should all keep a sleeping bag in our offices for naptime! Or have nap pods like they have at google

I only use spf on holidays and in the height of summer and I'm definitely not aging as fast as the years would suggest. It's mostly genetic and not smoking. My mum looks much younger than 80 and has few wrinkles. Same for my grandma.

I think a lot of it must me having kids too, my youngest looking and acting friends of my age and older are childfree. While I have aged a lot since having children. I always thought they would keep me young on the "inside" seeing things through their eyes but thats not been the case as mostly I'm too shattered to become all childlike and full of wonder at a catapiller! I have my moments but my kids have sucked my youth right out of me not that I would change that!

Sunscreen, wear sunscreen.

Ongoing stress also plays a factor.

I think having kids has kept me yo7ng and active but I also love exercise

Genetics

I’m 44 and have no lines / look young, yet was a sun worshiping party animal til I reached 40 and still have my moments now No kids but my sister has and she also looks v young, same with parents and grandmother.

I look after my skin but don’t use any fancy moisturiser, etc. I’m a huge fan of almond oil, amazing stuff

I was just coming on to say kids, OP. I used to be friends with identical twins. I didn't even know they were identical twins until I was invited to their joint birthday. The major difference was one had kids, the other didn't.
I think oiliness plays a factor too. I'm plump, oily and have pale skin so I've always used a high SPF. The only bonus is people say I look younger than my age.

To explain - I do think my plumpness fills out the paces in my face where I'd have lines - thin people seem to wrinkle faster to me.

OP sounds similar to me - my body [in clothes, anyway, the less said about the skin the better] is better than you see on most people 20 yrs younger, but my face, forget it, forehead especially looks like it has a series of irrigation trenches running down it, just awful.

GhostCurry when sitting she puts her palm of her eg, right hand on the right side of her face in a sort of thinking/fed up pose. It pushes the skin on her face up and over the years it's made it baggy. It's something she does all the time. If I remember her Mother used to do it too. If it wasn't for my husband at the time pointing it out to me, I would have had the same mannerism. Hence I don't.

Genetics & lifestyle. I've been religious about moisturiser & couple drops of bath oil (leaves my skin glowing) since teens & I'm 50 with no wrinkles yet. I've just got a few grey hairs. Don't smoke, drink rarely (but have a cake habit so stone overweight).

Genetics is a big part of it.

Things that definitely age your skin: smoking, alcohol, sun damage, stress, eating loads of sugar.

There was an experiment where skin was photographed after different number of hours sleep. Huge difference between sleep deprived skin and 8 hours skin. No idea why though, thinking about it.

A couple of older colleagues I suspect with long term eating disorders or just long term dieters have v wrinkled/aged skin. I think cutting out fats is really bad for skin, eating healthy oils and full fat milk etc but avoiding sugar seems to be best.

With mine it's genetics mostly I think. I'm the middle of 3 siblings, older Brother & younger Sister both take after my mums side and look older than I do. I take after my dad's with oily skin which makes a big difference.

its all genetic and lifestyle.

i'm 38 and overweight, I also keep out of the sunshine a lot.. often told I look at least 10 years younger than I am.

I was just coming on to say kids, OP. I used to be friends with identical twins. I didn't even know they were identical twins until I was invited to their joint birthday. The major difference was one had kids, the other didn't.

Yes, because if you don’t have kids you have no responsibilities or stress (stuff like having parents with dementia doesn’t count) and you have more time and money for pampering spa days and facials expensive face creams etc etc.....

It’s all about bathing in the blood of virgins.

Also genes. Particularly the type that give you oily skin. What a godsend! I didn’t think that in my teens and twenties but now I love it.

My sister is two years younger than me but looks ten years older. Reason: nine years of sleep deprivation with children and enthusiastic sunbathing.

I noticed that I aged a bit when in a very stressful and time consuming job. I quit after two years and had a few months off. I looked younger in no time, just because of 8 hours’ sleep every night and less stress.

www.theguardian.com/society/shortcuts/2012/jun/05/face-shows-damage-from-sun

“ If it wasn't for my husband at the time pointing it out to me, I would have had the same mannerism. Hence I don't.”

Troy that’s interesting. And how did your husband point it out - like “see your mum ruining her face? Don’t do that!” Or more “why do you always have your hand against your face?”

Just being nosy by the way!