...for seriously thinking that I don't want another child? WARNING...very ranty!

[PersonalClown]

Round my parents yesterday for Father's day I got the same question from both my parents independantly..'when are you having another?'
Ds has ASD and is a handful at the best of times and I'm doing this on my own. (His father upped and left years ago), he freaks at children crying and I just don't think I could split my attention between two.
Yet no-one seems to get that.I get it so much more now that ds is 5 and at school, sometimes from complete strangers!
It's not a decision I came to lightly but it's best for me and ds.
And why does it have to be me? I have 2 younger brothers (22 and 19) who are capable (I think) of having kids.
GGGRRRR
And while I'm ranting, why do my parents insist on finding me a man? They think that I need one (don't get me wrong I'd like one)
and I'll see any bloke they think is suitable.
My standards are so much higher since ds and let's face it, it's going to take a very special bloke to accept ds.

Rant rant ranty ranty rant.

What makes you're parents think you would want anymore and surely they would think you irresponsible if you said you were pg from a one night stand with a complete stranger.

It's beyond me! Especially when they rant about XP not being around.

Perhaps you should make the point that you're ds is getting all you're attention and that he is no 1 priority

People know not to ask me now about the second child thing but I still get complete strangers telling me how cruel I am to have an only - and you sound as if you have far more grounds not to want a second at the moment than I do! I sympathise totally, get very frustrated and upset and guilty about it all but just try to remind myself that it's my family and the decision is mine and DH's to make. Just take a deep breath, tell them you are NOT having another very firmly (even if you're not sure - just to shut them up) and that it's not up for discussion any more. That's what I did with my family and they've backed off completely.

Bloody hell. Surely an insensitive question if there is not a man currently in the picture anyway, regardless of whether you even want another. Unless you find yourself in a situation where you really do want another, tell everyone concerned to politely (or not) bog off and leave you alone.

I'm a never say never kinda girl as circumstances may change.
My responses vary depending on my mood from asking 'So how would you cope with two?' to 'Fark off, it's none of your blardy business!'
I still don't think that they fully understand/accept that ds is different.

I get v pissed off with people who think they can dictate when/how many children other people should have.

Once a complete stranger with whom I'd got into conversation on a train, told me I was "selfish" because I didn't want to have children, although I was then just about to get married. I still think that people who don't want children shouldn't have them just to please some one else, whatever the circs.
(I did eventually change my mind about wanting children.)

Very strange that your parents should take this attitude when you are without a partner. Adopting from China is one thing; how about Artificial Insemination? Quick fling with some one else's husband? Immaculate Conception?

You can make a far better and stronger ethical case for not having any (or any more) children given the overpopulation of the planet - and the number of homeless, parentless children needing to be adopted. Try that one on the next nosy plonker who asks

Seems an odd question to ask but it takes all sorts.... I vary between thinking I'd love another LO and being horrified at the thought of starting over now. The bigger the age gap gets, it's more unlikely I won't be reproducing again anyway.

practise smiling sweetly when asked rude/intrusive/probing/questions so that whilst u look angelic you are really thinking

o-do-shut-the-feck-up

tell them you have found a great website where you can buy what you need to artifically inseminate yourself, you are just trying to choose and ask to borrow their turkey baster
I dont ask people this question because often there are reasons when people dont have another one. amongst my friends one has had multiple miscarriages, one adopted her dc (not known by many people) and one is struggling to conceive its insensitive and rude

how rude.... your mum knows the problems yu have your DS, you think shee would be more aware of that...