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AIBU?

To ask about post baby romance?

3 replies

bella1426 · 04/11/2018 22:04

Just that really. We're only 2 weeks in and besotted by our new son but our interactions have gone so...transactional. it's all 'pass me the nappy' this or 'what time was his last feed' that. Sex is obviously a non event as recovering from a c section and has been throughout a difficult last trimester... even the affection has dried up... Just so tired and busy all the time...i miss our old relationship a bkt and it feels a little lonely 😪 I guess survival mode with a newborn is just what were in but would love to hear from people who have felt this and come out the other side.

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lynzpynz · 04/11/2018 22:10

I have an 8 week old DD and could have written this a few weeks ago! I had severe hyperemesis up to 7months of my pregancy then on to SPD (pelvis agony) for the remainder on crutches! C section too and recovery, not to mention breastfeeding leaky boobs! Survival mode has been my life recently too. It is getting better, me and DH are coming out the other side and finding more time for each other again. It will get better, chin up and dont put any pressure on yourselves. Lots of cuddles with DH and tell each other often how much you love each other and are proud of how youre both coping with the chaos bub brings. Sounds like youre both doing realy well, sending support #TeamNewMummy

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bella1426 · 04/11/2018 22:22

Thanks lynz :) tbh neither of us are massively affectionate or lovey dovey, I wish we were a bit more but we are probably both a bit awkward/emotionally retarded in that sense. He is amazing in so many ways and were a great team but he wouldn't be very physically affectionate unless it's leading to sex and not the most emotionally open unless we've had a few wines in us! Obvs neither are on the cards currently and I think our relationship is kinda missing both!

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lynzpynz · 04/11/2018 22:45

Pre-baby i was properly stoic and a non-crier, think since bub arrived ive cried more than i have in past decade Blush (most notably at a random donkey animal shelter advert?!!). Hub has joked baby has meant im no longer “dead inside” (we love black humour its said in jest!). I think its helped making the effort to praise each others survival skills dealing with the sleep terrorist (nickname for DD!) and even just stopping for a knackered 10 sec silent hug in the hallway helps even if its not the norm.

Id make a plan for a date night about ~8 weeks pp, give you something to look forward to, we are off next week for dinner, ive built up expressed milk supplies in preparation and blessed MIL is watching bub and putting her to bed - CANNOT WAIT! And a little wine is def on the menu even though ill be a proper lightweight and prob have to take a manual breast pump in my handbag haha! The new normal as they say. Oh and no-one fecking tells you but if youre BF’ing you may want to invest in some lube for when you resume things in the bedroom post-section if you havent already as it has some unwelcome dry side effects... the joys eh?! xx

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