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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think their dad should have mentioned new gf BEFORE moving in with her?

7 replies

lilmishap · 04/11/2018 20:25

Ex sees kid Sundays and has them overnight every other weekend, today I asked what they'd done and was told they went to (womans name) house, it was a bit of a shock as nothing had been mentioned but I presumed she's a new GF being introduced, it hurt a bit but I kept quiet and didn't question them.

I've just put them to bed and DS (5) mentioned that youngest DS (3) and he shared a bed when they stayed at her house.

I've texted ex ' I would have thought you would let me know you had met someone before introducing them to our kids' and he texted back and said that they live together(?!).

I've never heard her mentioned before today, despite the boys telling me what they do with dad and he hasn't mentioned how long they've been together, We get on well (I thought) and he tells me what he's up to at work and life over a tea when he does pick ups. But this was never mentioned.

I'm absolutely reeling right now but I do not want quiz the boys or ring him because they will hear and I don't want to upset eldest by letting him know what he said has upset me.
I'm also unsure if I have any right to ask how long he's known her and when they started seeing each other?

Am I being unreasonable in feeling upset and wanting to know how long ?

OP posts:
Bibijayne · 04/11/2018 20:29

Nope. Common courtesy would be to tell you he's introducing them to GF. Also, safeguarding wise you should know where they're staying overnight.

missymayhemsmum · 04/11/2018 20:36

YADNBU to be livid and concerned.
But you should probably text back congratulations. And find an occasion to meet her.

CandyCreeper · 04/11/2018 20:39

he doesnt have to tell you tbh but i get why you are upset

Maybe83 · 04/11/2018 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilMy33 · 04/11/2018 20:47

I think he should have mentioned that he will be/has introduced his new gf to the children. He doesn’t need your permission though. He should definitely have mentioned that he has moved into her home though! I find it weird he hasn’t. Do you usually get on ok?

lilmishap · 04/11/2018 20:54

That's whats really hurting we chat about everything or so I thought, I know he wasn't happy at his mums where he's been since we split almost a year ago.

He's been drunk texting asking for sex here and there as recently as Friday. Thank fuck I always ignored those texts.

He's just replied he met her in August, but not said when they moved in together

OP posts:
lilmishap · 04/11/2018 20:59

I knew new relationships would happen at some point obviously but I'm surprised by how hurt I am at not being told.

I'm not a raging psycho, he knows I would have dealt with it without dramatic scenes.

OP posts:
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