Does anyone think their parenting suffered in an abusive relationship?

[pebs34]

I was in an abusive marriage for a long time looking back I really feel like my parenting wasn't great. I was quite short and snappy and other times it was all too much and I felt I needed my own space. My mental health wasn't great at that time and I am just interested to know if other people have felt this way or if they had different experiences. I have come out the other side but I feel very guilty over what feels like lost time with my kids. Anything that will help please

I'd say that was usual.

Women try to say that their children aren't aware/haven't seen anything, but living with abuse changes you and dictates how you bahave.

I can remember my Mum being a nervous wreck and snapping at me to go and watch television in my room.

I was in an abusive relationship. Funnily enough I've just shared this on another thread be abuse I'm now happily single.

I wasted so much emotional energy on him and made different choices than I should have, which has negatively impacted on my life.

It's pointless looking back, just focus on what you can now do.

Yes i do think children suffer living with parents in an abusive relationship.

I believe this is absolutely 100% correct and I can’t imagine a case where it wouldn’t be. People that say their kids are shielded from it are at best naïve to how children see and feel things.

My mother was in an emotionally abusive relationship with my father and it affected her mental health and in turn the way she dealt with her children. The biggest thing that sticks with me is that, as my mother, she should have been my biggest advocate but because of her circumstances she wasn’t. I’ll never forgive her for that.

Absolutely.

I was in a constant state of high anxiety.

I haven’t lost my temper in 4 years (since we split).

I get upset when I remember times I got angry or upset (raised my voice, kicked the kitchen bin across the room, screamed at the children). I felt I was losing my mind. For years.

I’m a much kinder parent now. Therapy helped a lot. I struggle when my teenage sons attitude and behaviour reminds me of his dad, but I recognise it and don’t rise to it. I remember that he is only a bit of his dad and a lot of me. Much of it is normal teenage behaviour, and I remind myself he is still a work in progress. (Unlike his DF who never seemed to develop emotionally post 15).