to be majorly p***ed off with my post-natal class

[rabster]

I am going to stop going. They make me so angry and depressed.

All the mums there boast about how long their baby can play independently. at 11 weeks fgs?! I LIKE to interact with mine!!! and if they cry you musnt go to them. let them cry a bit first.

And two mums have weaned by 17 weeks!!

And all of the babies (except mine) go through the night. And you musn't breast feed in the evening cos they'll get too attached to you.

aaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!

sorry, just needed a rant.

you should stop going then. These groups are supposed to be to help new mums-they're obviously not helping you.

And two mums have weaned by 17 weeks!!

You need a beta post-natal group. You have obviously stumbled across an alpha group

and oh no don't co-sleep. Theyll come too attached to you,
I LIKE CO-SLEEPING!!!!!

stay well clear who needs the hassle imagine what they will be like at the school gate

Rab you've got it right babe! Personally I'd stop going. You continue to nurture your baby!

ah the joys of competitive parenting ....

thanks for affirming my parenting style. I was beginning to feel like a freak for loving my baby.

I won't go anymore. I don't learn anything anyway - everything I learnt about babies comes from mn. [creep emoticon]

oops that sounded funny. obviously I did know SOME things about babies lol
am so angry can't type in sentences!!!

lol... I was told to start weaning at 16 weeks. It was the health visitor advice 5 years ago. It was a real nightmare weaning early because my son didn't want food. Much better at six months when the baby takes the food off you!

Try La Leche League. I think you would find the mums there more similar to you

just bad luck with your group - move on - there are loads of mums out there that you will click with

Yep I agree with the others.

Given you are quite into attachment parenting and co-sleeping maybe try the sort of activity that tends to attract mums like you? Maybe baby yoga or massage - or is that full of alpha mums these days too?

You WILL find kindred spirits out there but just cos you have kids doesn't mean that's enough to be friends with people you don't have much in common with. Find other nicer people who support you and you support - I'm sure you will!

People get the impression that post birth they will make tons of fabulous mates through their postnatal group but it just isn't always like that. Mine were a very mixed bunch too. You will find people you like more soon!

or perhaps a bf cafe?

Oh my, I'd be angry too...not just at being made to feel like a freak, but because the poor babies were being treated like that...too attached my arse.
It's really stupid. Attachment is all about being there for and with your child, so that it feels secure enough to go off and leave you when it's old enough...
In research it's the kids whose parents ignore or abuse them who are the most clingy.
(Apart from the ones whose parents are REALLY bad, those ones won't make eye contact with another human...)

The ones who are responded to and listened to and cuddled, are usually way brave about toddling off and exploring the world, because they know they have someone to come back to.

Rambling, sorry...

PS not sure what an alpha parent is but if it helps I'm a bit like you...co sleep, breastfeed for as long as it takes (16mths last time) and never leave them to cry unless absolutely impossible to respond (ie foot stuck in a drain, on the toilet etc...).

I would like my kids to sleep through the night but DS1 was 3 before he did...ho hum!

rabster: your OP has cheered me up, as I was going to post something similar myself!

My NCT class are now all Gina Ford-ing and mix-feeding. I've no problem with it as a) it's none of my business and b) they've all got healthy, happy babies.

But I'm starting to get funny looks when I say I'm planning to BF past six months and that we sometimes co-sleep. Different parenting styles = fine. Sniffiness about someone making different choices to you = paranoid and rude.

Am plucking up the courage to leave...

i would just add that maybe sometimes 'funny looks' are interested looks rather than judgemental? dont forget that everyone is hormonal and trying to work things out

from memory, i dont think i was remotely bothered what other people did re sleeping/feeding - i was just keen for tips and answers to help me, so maybe take any strange looks with a pinch of salt too

My post-natal group dumped me! I wasn't quite the right class of person ... I found a different group and am much happier now. Stick with people who make you feel better and keep away from competitive mums - this about you and your baby it's not a race.

I'd add that pride comes before a fall - especially where kids are concerned. Wait until teething/potty training/toddler tantrums etc start and see how smug they are then!

so true reiken

also would like to add that second/third time around noone discusses feeding/sleeping etc as too busy getting on with it

i so think that new mum groups should probably not discuss babies either - too likely to go home and worry about it -best stick to world politics/religion etc - far less contentious

'they'll become too attached to you' WTF?????

Mad women, never go back

Gursky - how did they manage that - how did they go about dumping you!? Poor you!

i dont know why i am now defending the group - but i wonder if 'too attached' was meant as a fear of being up in the night for years to come, rather than a general attachment/bond thing? Not sure - it just seems a bit extreme and I wondered if the comment should be taken with a pinch of salt

it just occured to me when up with dd2 (15 months) last night at 12 and 3 that this was not funny any more and maybe i should have been a little firmer a bit earlier!

most of them are probably lying.

I doubt that they are all sleeping through the night tbh.

Heaven forfend that your children should be attached to you, after all. Tsk. Whatever would come fo that?