AIBU to be annoyed with ex partner, as according to him I am.
He bought horse riding lessons for her and didn't discuss with me first. I only knew from a message he sent her about it, therefore I have no idea when they start, what day or time this would be?
I didn't say anything as I wanted to avoid the argument, a few weeks later after hearing nothing about these lessons, he calls DD and says he will be round in 20mins to pick her up and make sure she is ready. No word to me earlier in the day or anything, I was actually planning to go out and was running a bit late, so if we had done we wouldn't of been about when he turned up!
Anyway again I didn't say anything save the argument.
But today he has annoyed again, by messing me about not letting me know what time he is coming over, which has caused a lot of upset with DD as she wanted to make plans with friends but I said she couldn't really as he was taking them out, but I didn't know what time, she has text and called him and still not got a clear answer. So I've had to deal with her strop.
He was arguing with me about that and how he does let me know what he is doing, so I brought up these lessons and I told him I don't think this is ok, as obviously I would need to make sure we are at home on the set day, so she is here and I can make sure she is ready when he comes to pick her up? I'm not saying he cant take her but isn't it just common courtesy to ask me if it would be ok?
He thinks I'm being totally unreasonable and has just had a massive row with me. He says I have been on at him to see them more regularly and on more set times and he is doing that and he is still wrong. Like I said I'm not saying he cant do it but if he has arranged and paid for these lessons then surely he should have checked I would be ok with being at home on that day every week?
The children live with me and I take full responsibly for them, he doesn't have them to stay with him and doesn't pay child maintenance.
I basically don't know when he will come round from one day to the next he just comes when he can and I might get a days notice at best, even then I don't know how long he going to be here.
I've asked him several times over the past few years to please be a bit more consistent and maybe have set days he comes so I can at least plan to go out sometimes but he wont just says I'm being difficult and 'at least he sees his kids as much as he can and he is a good dad' he does see them maybe 3 or 4 times a week on average I'd say but there is no consistency or set days.
Please tell me I'm not being unfair to be a little frustrated and annoyed with him as he is making me out to be this person who make his life so difficult!
In the nearly 4 years we have been separated we have had major fall outs over maintenance and him not coming over at the time he said he would (we have waited around time and time again and he could turn up hrs late) but then we get along fine for a while but I think the same frustrations build up again and we fall out, the pattern then continues.
I've tried my best to get along with him over the years for the kids sake but I don't think I can anymore and want to try and have as little contact now as possible specially now the kids are a bit older, as it feels like such a drain on me and its been a tough few years! I've been in tears this afternoon as I just cant take the same arguments anymore he will never change!