To use my toilet for its purpose? (lighthearted)

[GunpowderGelatine]

AIBU to use my toilet for wee's and poo's? I even let other people use it for wee's and poo's. I don't hover when using the toilet and I use a normal amount of toilet paper. I also only flush toilet paper and not tampons, sanitary towels or my dinner. Am I weird?!

My toilet is gleaming and in a glass box. I only enter the box to clean it, attired in Non-Shedding Pharmacy Cleanroom Apparel (which I burn afterwards).

If I need to use a toilet in the manner for which it's accustomed, I break in next door while they're at work. (I also change the radio station, read their calendar and rearrange their cupboards, but that's just the trainee MIL that I am)

Next door must think they're living in Sleeping With The Enemy.

I have 2 toilets THAT I AND OTHERS USE.
thank you for the opportunity to share this

YABVVVU - think of the poo particles !!!! You may have breathed them in and will definitely get cholera. Please gargle with zoflora and shower in bleach.

Both of my toilets are finest porcelain, diamond encrusted and with gold cistern handles. They are definitely not for use. We don't piddle or shit in this house. We use the public toilets up the road in the local town car park.

I also have two bog brushes, one beside each toilet. These are for show purposes only.

Oh, and when we use the public toilets we don't sit on them to do our business. We levitate magically above them to ensure that we don't catch 30,000,000 different fatal diseases on contact.

If you let a man use your toilet then YADBU.

Especially a workman