Apparently small things from your past that make you feel awful-anyone else?

[DannyWallace]

Just wondering if anyone is the same as me? Maybe you've done something by accident, but someone thought you meant something else and got insulted and you have no way to make amends. Does that make sense? 

So, my story is I was sitting outside a pub on a beautiful afternoon/evening with my 2 sisters. As a back story, we have a great, quite jokey relationship. DS1 is VERY into her looks, spends a lot of money on clothes/makeup but it's a bit of a running joke (no pun intended) that she keeps signing up for fitness events/personals trainers and only ever manages 1 session as she gets bored. She would rather stick to a strict diet than do any exercise, and fully admits that.

Anyway, we're sitting outside this pup. DS1 sitting opposite me and DS2 next to me. DS1 looks past us into the distance and says "her! Behind you! That'll be me soon". DS2 and I turned around and saw a woman out for a run. The woman looked fantastic-very slim, running very fast but didn't look like she was struggling....in fact she looked great. DS2 and I both burst out laughing, and we all had a joke saying that we'd actually pay DS1 to take up running as she just never sticks with things like that.

Anyway, as the runner got to us she gave us the finger and looked so upset/angry. She was wearing headphones and was obviously thinking we were laughing at her. This was around 6 years ago and I still feel absolutely awful!! I run quite a bit, but I'm definitely not a confident runner and think I would hide away if someone was openly laughing at me. But she ran off and I obviously had no way of finding her.

I actually feel a bit better for writing it down though. Anyone else?

I have loads too! Once at work was chatting to the receptionist who was a stylish late 30s or early 40s mum of 3 girls and I asked her if she was still with the father? Not sure why this came out of my mouth but felt so bad! Luckily she didn't seem to take offence but I still feel bad, and still wonder why it came out of my mouth!

Now you've answered your own question in your OP. There was absolutely no reason to mention how stylish the receptionist was...her style/level of attractiveness must have made you suspect she was single.

@Racecardriver oh how sad. That must be difficult for you to carry with you. But please don't feel guilty...you were young ❤️

Reading other people's stories has really helped me. Thank you all .

It's something that's stuck with me for so long, but reading that so many others have said/done things and feel a similar way. I think it's time for me to let certain things in my past go

We had no money when I was little but for my 11th birthday my mum had a cake made for me. It said Happy Birthday Hoosey and had pink flowers on it. It had obviously cost her a few bob but I was an absolute spoiled brat about it. I was having my friends over for a party and was embarrassed about the cake. I was a proper tomboy and just starting to get the tween self-consciousness and I thought everyone would laugh at it and me. I threw a mega strop and told my mum I hated it. I never properly apologised to her for that and I know it hurt her. She died 7 years ago and I wish I had told her I was sorry. It sounds so stupid but she really made an effort and I really screwed up.

@2minutespeace OMG I had that pregnant dog teddy, so did my sister. When I was around he same age as you I noticed my sister had left her favourite teddy on top of her (switched on) lamp. Instead of turning the lamp off, or just taking off the teddy I replaced her favourite with the pregnant dog teddy.

When we got home it had melted from the heat... she still sometimes brings it up

When I had DD she was early and very small. We had to stay on the transitional care ward. There was a family opposite me who were just so loud and I was getting no sleep at all. The dad snored like a warthog and stayed every night, the baby cried near constantly, they made lots of loud phone calls etc etc. A few days of this and I was exhausted. A doctor had been to see DD and she said that hopefully we'd be able to go home soon and was about to walk away. I said "I hope so!" and tilted my head towards the family opposite and rolled my eyes. The doctor frowned, said "everyone is entitled to care", gave me a really cold look and walked away. I guess maybe she thought I was objecting with having to share with people who were, to be brutally honest, rough as anything. All I'd meant though is that their baby cries a lot and I was very tired, I just wanted some peace and quiet. I still feel really bad about it, that she thought I was a stuck up cow.

In Primark about 3 months ago I saw a lady pushing a pram but breastfeeding her baby whilst walking. I breastfeed a 4year old so just grinned at her and said "oh that's expert level!" and she looked as though she wasn't sure how to act. It was a school day so I had no children in tow. My friend realised 30 seconds later that this lady was talking another language! We kept trying to smile at her because I desperately wanted to know my comment had been positive!!

My dad is disgustingly racist and used to openly say derogatory and vile things about people in front of me all my life.

I was in nursery, so about 4 maybe? We were outside and the teacher was encouraging us to hold hands to play ring a ring off roses. The boy next to me had his little hand held out for me and I wouldn’t hold it... and when the teacher asked why I remember clearly saying ‘because he’s black. My dad will be cross with me’.

I’m tearful just writing that.

And a worse one, I had to do a handover to a person taking on my job. I didn't know her well but spent a day with her and found out she had a daughter with Downs Syndrome. Later on that day, I made a mistake with printing so said "oh I'm such an idiot" then pushed my bottom lip out with my tongue and said 'durr'. I literally realised in that exact moment where the action and sound of that expression of being stupid would have originated from and was so embarrassed and mortified at how it would have came across.

I've never told anyone this, or even at the time as it was so embarrassing. I went to a concert with a friend about 14 years ago, and on the way back we stopped at services to use the loo. It was about 2am and really quiet, we were the k let one there, and my friend (we were about 19 at the time) who is not disabled said she was too desperate to reach the ladies and went in the disabled loo. I went to the ladies, was very quick, and on the way back she was still in there so I knocked on the door and said "come on disabled person get a move on" in a sarcastic tone.

When I reached my car my friend was waiting outside. I'd said that to an actual disabled person. I never told her and I wish I'd had the balls to go back and explain why I said what I said to the person in the toilet

My parents took me on my first ever holiday abroad when I was 15. They’d saved for a while and they paid for a friend to come with us too. It was a huge thing for all of us. I’d heard a boy a similar age to me by the pool saying that he didn’t like the food at the hotel very much and his parents agreed with him and said it was pretty basic for the price they’d paid. For some stupid reason I thought it sounded really grown up and I wanted to impress my parents so at dinner that night said that the (genuinely lovely) food wasn’t up to scratch considering the price of the holiday. My normally very calm DM was so angry and I think about how ungrateful I must have sounded all the time.

I have a few fair few of these too, but one that has always stuck with me wasn't actually mine.

My 94 year old Nan used to guide planes in to land during her time in the RAF in WW2. She was in charge of the tea rations for the crews and one day, an extra plane had to do an emergency landing. The pilot asked her if she could spare a cup of tea for them all, but she had to refuse as the tea was allocated for the next scheduled flight. She told me that she still feels awful about that even now, as they must have been gasping for a drink but she had no choice to refuse them

Bish heartbreaking. I have some cousins who are black and when I was about 8 or 9 I used to be sent out to take them to the park...when they were visiting. They were little, about 4-6 and one day I saw my friend playing on her climbing frame in her garden...I waved and she said "You can't bring them in here...my Daddy will shake his head at you because they're brown"

And I've NEVER forgotten that. I was devastated. I'm white but I felt I had to protect my little cousins and didn't know how.

That little cow. I know it wasn't her fault but at the time I wanted to slap her.

I've been on the receiving end of a gaff.

I work as a dog walker and am about two stone overweight.

A male friend blurted out "Wow, Grey, you'd think you would be nice and slim with all the walking you do!".

I was upset, but forgave him.

I waa once very very excited to see a lovely old friend. I was so overwhelmed I tried to make light of it by saying "oh bloody hell its you you old bastard!" Except it came out of my mouth as "oh it's you, you fat bastard".
He was very overweight and very sensitive about it too. I didn't have the words the make it sound right again.... even though it was over 30 years ago I still wake up in a cold sweat. Lovely bloke too 

OP The very fact she responded by giving you the finger would negate any guilt I felt tbh.

Not too bad but when engaged I wrote my mother in law to be a cringey letter saying how she now has a daughter (moi) to do all those things she'd missed out on only having sons.

Thank Christ I didn't send it. As a mother to two boys myself now I'd have thought 'what the actual fuck you patronising cow?' if someone wrote that to me! I still get hot sweats at that one. What a twat I was.

Oh and when a colleagues wife died, when he returned to work a few weeks later I said "Commiserations" I was thinking of the word "Condolences" which you wouldn't normally say anyway it's more written in a letter or card. But Commiserations ffs. Like he just lost out on winning the caravanette on a game show.

I did something like this but was only 3 so it was my mum that got the blame and she is still mortified 36 years later.

My dad used to play football on a Saturday and one day he said he would take my older brother with him but not me (not sexist - just because I was too young at the time)

Anyway I got very upset and was crying so my mum said to me “why would you want to go with the smelly boys anyway, me and you will have a go into town and have a girly day” so I cheered up and started saying that I didn’t like boys anyway and girls were better etc etc

Anyway mum and I get on the bus to go into town and we sat in front of a black man - I turned around, pointed at him and said “mum, we don’t like them do we?”

Obviously I meant boys but this man presumed I meant black people. Mum said he gave her a look of such disgust (understandably) and got up and got off the bus so she didn’t have a chance to explain.

I don’t remember it at all but feel terrible for that man and my mum

I was sat at a coffee shop and saw a woman with 4 small children walking nearby.

I was genuinely impressed that she could cope so well with 4 toddlers/babies and made a offhand comment or "phew" type noise to my companion.

It was only after she'd given me a foul, foul look that I realised it may have been misinterpreted.

Costa lady with 4 kids, I'm sorry. I was genuinely in awe, not being mean!

Oh and also when I was a young teenager, I would regularly take money from the jar in the kitchen to buy sweets and fancy yoghurts from the shop by school (

@GunpowderGelatine if it helps it could have been empty?

@Arrivederci the toilet was engaged, I really really hope someone who was not actually disabled was in fact using it!

@GunpowderGelatine oh no, that's a real ground-swallow-me-up moment