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AIBU?

To think I can recover from a section alone ?

133 replies

Coffeeandcaffiene · 04/11/2018 08:55

Xposted in childbirth wasn’t sure where’s best.
Getting a lot of mortified faces when they hear I’ll be alone at home after my ELCS. I’m not particularly worried it is what it is but I’d love experiences !
Section this week - I am single so I won’t have help at home, friends/ visitors will be popping in during the day evenings to see baby so I’ll have to make the most of them!
( don’t have much family and especially no one I could ask to stay )

I was wondering realistically when I’ll be able to have a short walk with the pram?
When can I climb the stairs ?
( my bathroom is downstairs so can easily sleep downstairs till whenever )

I’ve set up drawers/ changing station downstairs so no bending required
Fridge is stocked with drinks- sports caps etc

Anything else I can do to make this easier ?!
Would love your experiences from your recovery ! ( or if I’m being naive )

OP posts:
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TurkeyBear · 04/11/2018 09:03

It is entirely dependant on your own body, how good your surgeon is at closing, etc.

It is major abdominal surgery. You should have someone with you 24/7 for a few days after just for the post birth and also post surgery risks alone.

I think you are being incredibly naïve and a bit dangerous tbh. Most women can't even get up to pee on their own for a week.

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TheSheepofWallSt · 04/11/2018 09:05

Not sure of your financial situation- if you have no friends /family, can you afford to hire a postpartum maternity nurse or even - if you can find one who will- a doula to come and stay at least for a few days?

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Goandplay · 04/11/2018 09:06

My partner was there after my first c section but he was pretty useless. Personally, unless you was unlucky, I think you’ll be ok. I would possibly tell hospital you’re going home alone, they may keep you an extra night.
My second section was with twins so there was no time for partner to look after me we were both too busy looking after them. If visitors brought food and made drinks I think you’ll manage.
Good luck.

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bumblebee39 · 04/11/2018 09:06

As a single parent to 2 already with limited support and none at home I have been dreading having to have a section. I literally have no idea how I would cope. Sounds like you are very organised, but I will be that organised for Vaginal Delivery never mind a C section.
I had to have surgery before and had to tell the hospital me and my child had 24/7 care when in reality we didn't. I ended up not resting and with a secondary infection. I wish I'd had some care but literally had no one to provide it. Do you have to have a section or is it voluntary?

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TheFimbleFowl · 04/11/2018 09:08

I’m not sure it’s true that most women can’t get up on their own for a week. I’ve had 2 and was able to get up the next day both times. But it was horribly painful and I wouldn’t fancy coping alone.

That’s probably best case scenario - you might not be so lucky and even if you are there’s also the post op risks.

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Scottishgirl85 · 04/11/2018 09:12

Can family come and stay? I recovered very quickly and felt normal after 10 days, but the first 5 days were a killer. Stairs were no problem from the start (I had to use hospital stairs!) but getting out of bed was very sore. It's doable on your own but won't be the best few days of your life, but if you're lucky like me the pain is over fairly soon. I was out in public on day 3 (we went to Mothercare!) and walking with pram day 5 but with hubby pushing pram. It's actually good to get up and out as helps the healing, but if you overdo it, it puts you back a few days. I think you have to be prepared for the first week to be very difficult. You could eek out the days in hospital to help. I was in 2 nights but could definitely have stayed a third if I'd wanted to. Remember you can't drive for 6 weeks. Wishing you all the best x

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LoopyLou1981 · 04/11/2018 09:13

Honestly I wouldn’t have coped on my own. I had a horrible recovery and was still struggling to walk down my road after 3 weeks let alone to the shops.
That said, my cousin recovered amazingly and was walking 2 miles into town and doing the weekly shop 2 days afterwards so it really does depend on how your body reacts.x

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redross · 04/11/2018 09:13

I don't want to sound like I'm bragging I'm well aware everyone's experiences are different. I was kept in hospital 5 days after my section, I had a 2.5 yr old at home, I slept downstairs for 4 days, went for a walk with the pram at a week, climbed the stairs on the day I got home.
I had my 2nd section 3 month ago, with a 4yr old and 19m at home, was in for 3 days, slept upstairs in bed that night, went for a walk with the pram on day 5, bending down by a week, lifted my toddler by 5 weeks. Personally I'd say it's totally doable (I'm also speaking as somebody who hemorraged and had 5 units of blood both times, a blood clot after the first section)

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Hollyandtheiveee · 04/11/2018 09:14

I had a section and I was up to go to the toilet 6 hours later, all but it very slowly and carefully. You will be fine but stay in hospital for as long as you can. Usually you will be in for at least 3 nights. Don’t rush home.

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MrTrebus · 04/11/2018 09:15

I think you'll be ok. They encouraged up and walking on the ward and I was only there 2 nights (the first night my daughter was born) that second night I spent many many trips up and down to the "milk room" (she was straight onto formula which was unexpected so we didn't have our own) and they actively encouraged this. You'll be fine. Saying you can't get up to go for a wee yourself for a week is simply scare mongering. You'd have to be very very unlucky for that to be the case. You'll do it and be fine. Good luck OP.

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KristinaM · 04/11/2018 09:15

You don’t need people to pop in to see the baby.

You need people who will make you a meal, restock your Fridge, put in a load of washing and run a vacuum cleaner around.

You know, don’t you, that you are not allowed to lift anything heavier that your baby after a CS? Like a bag of shopping, a baby in a car seat, a buggy in/out of a car or onto a bus, a filled kettle .

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canyouhearthedrums · 04/11/2018 09:17

It will be hard OP but doable. Stay in hospital as long as possible so that they can be on hand should any medical emergency arise in the first 48 hours. I have had 3 sections (one under GA) and they encourage you to get up and moving as soon as the catheter is out (usually 12 hours after)
I would advise you to stay downstairs for a week or so and have everything at hand such as nappies, wipes, clothes etc to minimise going upstairs. Also stock up on either nutritious freezer foods or batch cook for yourself now and freeze. Make the most of any guests, ask them to push the hoove r around or do some washing.
All the best, you can do it Flowers

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AnotherOriginalUsername · 04/11/2018 09:18

Make sure the hospital are aware of your home circumstances. They won't discharge you until you're ready based on this (hopefully!)

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redross · 04/11/2018 09:19

"You know, don’t you, that you are not allowed to lift anything heavier that your baby after a CS?"
Some people have no choice but to, my baby was admitted back in hospital at 8 days old due to jaundice and not feeding. I had to get there asap but nobody made any attempts to help, I had to get the pram (double at that!) Out the cupboard, out the house, on and off a bus and into the hospital. It's not advised but sometimes there's no choice but to

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user1493413286 · 04/11/2018 09:19

I’m not sure the first poster is correct; I was alone without issue after my section as my baby was in special care so my DH went back to work and I was up going to the toilet the next day by myself.
I would say it’s all about preparation; move everything where you can get it and make sure you have enough shopping in for at least a couple of weeks. Can you ask friends to bring things like milk as and when you need it.
You’ll be able to climb stairs by the time you go home but it’s not a bad idea to stay sleeping downstairs just so you can take it easy.
Could you get a cleaner in? That was where I had the most help with hoovering, washing etc for a few weeks.

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rainbowquack · 04/11/2018 09:19

I've had four, and it honestly depends. The first, I was absolutely fine but DH took off two weeks. The second, I decided that I didn't need help, and popped a stitch on day 3 as I got a bit ahead of myself. The third, I really hurt some
Muscles by going to the toilet on day 1, and after a week still couldn't stand up straight. After the fourth, my doctor told me to lay flat for 24 hours, I relaxed and was absolutely fine.

It is major surgery. I think it is best to a) stay in hospital as long as you can b) ask people to bring you food and pop in c) have someone to sleep over.

Newborns are demanding, plus trying to recover from surgery, be as kind to yourself as you can possibly be.

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SparklyLeprechaun · 04/11/2018 09:20

With my first c-section I could move around fairly easily after 2 days and I went out for a walk with the pram after 6 days - but not lifting the pram, collapsing it, dragging it up the stairs. My second recovery was quicker. Just make sure you've got everything you need in terms of food, baby stuff etc or you can have them delivered easily. Sleeping downstairs for a few days is a good idea, as long as your couch is high enough to get up easily. Good luck!

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user1493413286 · 04/11/2018 09:21

Also get some extra pillows; it was much easier to get out of bed by myself when I was propped up.

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MsHopey · 04/11/2018 09:22

My c section i was kept in one night. 26 hours from operation to discharge. I climbed stairs immediately at home as I live in a flat. I couldn't get in and out a bath and instead had to sit in a plastic chair in the bath and basically pour water over myself for the first week.
Getting out of bed and chairs and the toilet was the hardest. We went to McDonalds and the pub 4 days after the section to see family, but it wasn't comfy. Some days I did too much and would be in more pain the next day.
All this was with DH doing the brunt of the housework, carrying the baby, making bottles. I did okay looking after myself, it was painful but it was okay. And I genuinely think my pain threshold is quite high and the healing was good after a week which is pretty good for a c section. I think I would probably have done more damage if I had to look after baby completely on my own. Bending to put the baby in and out the cot.
First night I dropped his outfit on the floor, DH picked it up, I don't even think I could have picked anything off the floor for a couple of days.
I don't know what to suggest if you don't think you have anyone to help, but I definitely wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

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CandyCreeper · 04/11/2018 09:24

I coped twice. infact the last time I gave birth I was totally alone in the hospital (no partner or family) and coped at home alone. its possible, not easy but not impossible.

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Imustbemad00 · 04/11/2018 09:24

Depends. I’ve had major surgery before so c section was pretty minor in comparison in terms of pain and recovery.
I was home on 3 days. Single parent also. I managed. Think I went to the local shop on the 5th day but realised halfway there it was a mistake as it hurt. But I managed. I know some women struggle though.

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Somewhereovertherainbow13 · 04/11/2018 09:24

I had an emcs with my last dc and I too was up and about within a couple of days. In hospital once I’d recovered from blood loss etc (reason for emcs) the hospital staff left me to it nobody helped me go to the toilet or anything. At home although I had my oh at home with me he didn’t do much. I was having to look after baby and 2 toddlers. The first week dc1 was back at playgroup after half term so I was walking him to that.

It does depend on your body but if something absolutely needs doing there’s not much choice

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SD1978 · 04/11/2018 09:25

It's a personal thing. If you have no choice, then juts try to do things as safely as possible Le. Have meals precooked, or even get one of those meal delivery services for the first week if you can. Most women can walk and do basics pre discharge. I had a very easy recovery, and I don't know anyone you didn't- although consolidations are possible. Your set up sounds fine.

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SinkGirl · 04/11/2018 09:28

I was discharged after about 40 hours and could manage the stairs at home fine (slowly, but possible) and could get up to go to the loo by myself without help from that point, but my twins were both in nicu. I’m not sure how I would have managed with a baby at home.

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Moomintroll85 · 04/11/2018 09:30

I've had two c-sections. I managed stairs after about 24 hours as soon as I arrived home because there's steps to get to my front door and the toilet is upstairs. I struggled to bend down for about a week and with getting in and out of bed. I needed help stepping in and out of the shower (shower over bath).

I could just about manage to do all of this but I took an absolute age to move anywhere and was in agony feeling like my stomach would split open for a week or so.

You'll manage because you have to but it'll be a hard first few weeks. Also if you overdo it you'll really put your recovery back. Stay in hospital as long as you can and accept any offers of help. Also set reminders for taking regular painkillers for the first few days at least. Don't just wait until you're in agony... that really made a difference to my ability to cope. Good luck!

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