Is it ok for me and DD to sleep in separate room?

[Ssshorty]

I have a newborn baby, few days old. She's awake ALL NIGHT feeding. I've been sleeping on the sofa downstairs as I prefer it. I can get a cup of tea whenever I want, watch tv, make food etc etc.

DH wants us to sleep upstairs as he wants to help with nappy changes etc. I'd rather just do them myself as I'm up anyway and as I explained, it's a PITA being in bed waking up every 30 mins and having to be quiet, and having to do a supply of snacks to have next to the bed/having to go downstairs to make tea, being in the dark etc etc.

It also hurts my stitches to have to pull myself up in to a sitting position in bed.

AIBU to just want to sleep downstairs with DD? Or should I sleep upstairs in order to keep DH happy?

Nice he wants to help but it makes my night so much longer...

My baby will only sleep on a floor bed in the living room. He’s 8 months. We alternate sleeping downstairs with him.

You need to do whatever is easiest for you to look after the baby.

No i slept downstairs because it was easier.The bed was too high for me to get in to .I had a c section on the last baby.

I think in this case you have to do whats best for you,and if sleeping downstairs does it.Then your dh will have to understand.

Do whatever works for you right now. The first weeks are a blur. I slept upstairs in the evenings when my dh took baby downstairs, but then around midnight we’d switch. I’d sleep on the sofa with baby in the carrycot actually. Feeding on the sofa was so much easier and it was the warmest room and easy access to the kitchen for drinks and snacks. It won’t be forever. I was sleeping upstairs by about 4-6 weeks. If your dh maybe wants some time with her, can he take her for a bit while you shower or nap?

I’m 6 weeks post section. For the first few days, my DH brought a spare mattress down from our spare single beds and had it on the floor in the lounge. DS slept in the basket of his Moses basket on the floor so I could see him. I had to sleep on the sofa as there was no way I was able to sit up or do anything on my own. Your DH needs to follow your lead on this.

Do what makes it easier for you.

Explain to him the sofa is more comfortable and you sleep better. Also he should sleep better as he won't be disturbed by crying. Then after you BF baby in the morning when he's awake, he could look after baby and bond for a bit, while you get some sleep or take a relaxing bath.

Hope you had a good night, OP

These early days are so tough but also so wonderful 

Baby is 8 months and I have bedroom with baby in week and husband has spare room. He wakes 4-6 times a night and having my husband sleep next to me while I get up so much gets me so angry I kicked him out! Then at weekends he's back becuase doesn't have work.

YANBU. I'd rather have my partner well rested so that he can do the housework/bring food & drink and let you have a nap later than both of you sleep deprived, getting on each others nerves and too tired to do anything properly at a normal speed.

My husband slept in the spare room until baby moved into his own room at 8months! It was so much easier to not have to worry about waking someone else up, being able to co-sleep safely when I needed to etc it worked for us. Just be careful you don’t fall asleep on the sofa with baby on you, that can be really dangerous. Otherwise, enjoy your time alone with baby and ask partner to help out in other ways, like making dinner, doing laundry, fetching you drinks in the evenings etc

I did the first stint of the night downstairs during cluster feeding and the nocturnal stage. I found sitting up in bed very sore on the stitches like you and could doze on the sofa (baby in moses basket) when he was more settled /between feeds. I then went upstairs around 2/3am but that was my choice. If you are happy downstairs then stay there. It definitely is less stressful if you can have a cuppa, watch some telly, not have to creep around etc. I completely agree.

One thing I would suggest is when she wakes for a feed try not to put the light on as this could start a routine of thinking it's day time.... obviously if she has pooed then that won't work. It does get easier and better and they work out day and night eventually and will start sleeping longer inbetween feeds. Can't guarantee they will stop walking up completely though! My 5 year old 4 year old and 1 year old take it in turns! But it does get easier

Friend of mine did this and it worked really well for her. Dad can help in the day and will be well rested so better able to support you. He can take over while you have a shower or whatever.

At this stage, whatever makes you most comfortable is the way to go.

I get your DH wants to help, but the most help he can give you is to not out pressure on you to do things for him!

I found sleeping separately really helped my sleep. Like your DH, mine wasn't keen - he missed the intimacy (not sex) and felt a bit pushed out. But when I explained it was the thing that helped me get most sleep he accepted it.

Do what you need to do to get through the early days. It won't be forever and if it helps you then do it.