Mocking and judging your own 'friends'

[SaraBrum]

AIBU to think that maybe it's time to stop constantly mocking and judging your own 'friends' for well just about anything?

I have really enjoyed reading posts on this site for several years now, but one thing I just cannot get my head around is the sneering about people described as friends because they derive joy from inconsequential little things that the OP does not condone. I am talking about these sorts of things:

Baby showers - what is the harm in celebrating something as joyous as a pregnancy in a way that means a lot to your friend? Just get a baby gro, play along to some silly games and be happy that your friend wanted to include you in something that is important to them.

Weddings - why is it such a big deal to just get sth your friends actually want for their wedding, whether that is charity donations, cash or honeymoon vouchers. How is it such a hardship? If you were planning to gift sth then why oh why the handwringing over a kitsch poem daring to ask for what the couple would actually find useful. Surely knowing your gift is actually something wanted and needed is great?

Facebook - if you are on social media and 'friends' with someone why is it such a hardship to see your friends posting whatever non-harmful things are clearly something that made them happy? Whether pictures, kids achievements or Christmas presents?

These are only a few that seem to constantly crop up. If like me non of the above are ways you would choose to celebrate, why is it causing such outrage if it makes someone else happy? Just don't do it yourself and appreciate that someone cares about you enough to include you in something special to them.

Ok, I'll hop off my soap box now.

I'm kind of with you, OP. Except I think the real problem is people just like to moan. FFS, get over it. Be upset over bombing of Yemen or death squads in Honduras. But I guess those are too distressing events so folk focus on petty shit instead.

DD says that moaning is bonding and there's something wrong with me that I don't get it. Humans are enormous gossips & social animals. Moaning seems be a relatively 'safe' way of connecting to strangers.

YES! That. I even get the moaning to some extend. But these are people described as friends in these posts. I just cannot understand getting so enraged over this stuff.

If agree with that Trout. Gossip and moaning about people aren't particularly kind traits but gossip can help cement communities and two faced moaning can be a release valve.

Why would try to like everything my friends like anyway? I might give a babygro at a baby shower but inside I'd be thinking what a lot of boring, grabby bollocks this is and I might choose to vent safely on an anonymous forum.

Can't speak for Babyshowers. But with regards to weddings, I simply could not afford to go to some of them when I was a broke college student and my friends (who were getting married) were less than understanding. If I had been on here during this time, I definitely would have moaned about the pressure a friend was putting on me to spend money I didn't have.

With Facebook, the only issue I could have with that is if it is performance parenting. Otherwise I don't care or "like" such posts.

I agree with the Facebook thing, as it has no impact on me at all. I can scroll past if I don't like it and I actually enjoy seeing photos of people's food/kids/pets.

Bby showers and weddings though? Hate both. They aren't usually arranged with the person they're for actually enjoying the event. They are mostly a mixture of grabby present wanting and bridezilla ridiculousness. Baby showers are tacky and awful and I won't go to them. Weddings are the same old shit, boring and an excuse for pissed people to behave like twats. Hate everything about them.

It's easy to moan and try to look superior online. In RL if people invite me to a baby shower I always go!

At least if people are moaning on here it means they're less likely to do it in real life. A bit 2-faced but better than offending people.