To be pissed of that infertile people are getting the blame for falling adoption rates.

[VisitorsEntrance]

As in infirtile person you are forever having adoption suggested to you by helpful people.
Now people having successful IVF are being blamed for the drop in adoption rates.

Why not blame the hoops you have to jump through www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46081726

I thought it was shitty.

When we were going through infertility and started the adoption process we were told we had to do IVF and use up any frozen embryos so we could prove we wouldn't go on to have biological dc.

Also got told our gorgeous rented cottage was no good as no spare beds.

They need to make their minds up.

I really wouldn’t have been bothered had the headline been ‘adoption process requires overhaul due to dropping rates’ and then been pretty much the same article

Then the headline would have overstated the case. The article is not about the parlous state of the adoption system, it's not detailed enough for that; it's not its purpose.

But add into that the number of women voluntarily relinquishing their child for socioeconomic reasons is now pretty much nil. IVF is not even in the Top 5 reasons.

Caught this on radio 4, and a lady from a large adoption agency said "its a bit more complicated than that!"

In addition to the points above (reducing single mother stigma, access to contraception, availability of ivf) there is also increased awareness of what an adoption actually entails, especially if a child has additional needs, or has a different cultural background. She also mentioned that the process of adoption has shortened for the adults, but is still far too long from the childs perspective due to involvement of courts.

Another pressure was the lengthy recession and the impact on family security - if your finances are tenuous and your housing cramped, could you be in a position to adopt?

YANBU. The success rate of IVF may be a contributing factor but I cannot see it being a particularly high factor, especially compared to other factors. I also don’t think you’re being over sensitive.

When we were going through infertility and started the adoption process we were told we had to do IVF and use up any frozen embryos so we could prove we wouldn't go on to have biological dc

That is so shitty. Do they ask fertile people to be sterilised to prove they won’t have bio children?

The boss of a body that represents children in care has said the success of IVF has contributed to a drop in the number of children being adopted. That isn't a direct quote, it is a shitty paraphrase

Ummmm that is a direct quote from the article linked in the OP (pic attached)

YANBU OP, I read that headline the same way, but us infetiles are always being accused of being 'over sensetive' over stuff like this

Our subsequent fet twins coped just fine in said cottage for 6 months. I'd adopt now but still no spare bedrooms and we are in a 4 bed house.

Isn't it more likely to be that with fewer teenage pregnancies, better understanding of contraception more access to abortion fewer "unwanted" babies are born. Most children looking for adoptive parents today bring very many additional challenges with them.

I saw the title of the article and thought WTAF?!
My friend has been struggling with IVF and I got upset about it on her behalf.
It is so ridiculous anyway, correlation/causation and all that.
How can they link those 2 things anyway? Where is the raw data.
Very bad journalism.

I just wish journalists and commentators had even some basic scientific literacy. Either that or they all need to have "correlation does not imply causation" tattooed on their foreheads.

And maybe there are more children removed (let's be honest that's usually how it happens these days) due to the state of our society. The immense poverty and people who can't cope turning to drink and drugs. It's then a cycle that repeats itself. Where you are born has so much effect on your future

@VisitorsEntrance - fertile - or possibly fertile - couples are asked to use protection so that they don't conceive, yes. And for very good reasons

VisitorsEntrance - do you really, truly think that fertile people who have not had ivf are reading that article and feeling angry with infertile people as a result?! The idea of "blame" is entirely in your imagination because, as you admit yourself, you are touchy about it. And it would take a colossally dim person to think that the sole cause of dropping adoption rates is ivf - even the article you linked does not say that and refers specifically to adoption being a slow process which requires a lot of emotional energy. I don't know anyone who doesn't understand the desire to have your own biological children where possible.

do you really, truly think that fertile people who have not had ivf are reading that article and feeling angry with infertile people as a result?!

No of course I bloody don’t. Regular people are not going to blame infertile people.
But it is implied in the headline.

Perhaps people with bio children just don’t see it.

No one is blaming anyone. It's an observational article and study. What I have noticed though is that those going through IVF are sensitive to the most banal of things. I say that as someone who went through it and had to leave several support groups as some of the people were bordering on hysterical or just outright lunacy and get offended at everything. I was ttc for 10+yrs and several of those earlier years were taken up with IVF.

I love being told I’m hysterical. Thanks for that.
Am I protesting at the BBC? Am I writing to complain?
No, I’m having a little bit of a whinge on a women centred forum.

Adoption is ridiculous in the hoops you have to jump through

I’m aware they need to be careful but still it’s stupid

My mums best friend tried to adopt after trying for years. They eventually got accepted and had to go to a seminar where they were essentially told, that they are glorified foster carers, and if the birth parents wanted contact with the child, even if sexual abuse had occurred, they were obligated to provide it.

My mums friend walked away and hasn’t been back since

I saw that headline and thought, ouch, that's a very bad headline. It's making a very distinct comparison, and lays the blame on parents going for IVF.

In reality, the adoption process is pretty harrowing and lengthy, just as the IVF process is. But for different reasons.

Adoption rarely involves a healthy baby. It almost always involves a child who has been damaged or traumatised. Sometimes, it involves a sibling group which are even harder to place.

Adoption is the last resort in this country, when "nothing else will do" (Family Court). Support for parents in difficulties, such as Sure Start, has been cut to the bone. Post-adoption support is very patchy.

To focus on IVF being the reason why adoption rates have fallen is beyond ridiculous.

The headline made me angry too. It’s not as if you have to be infertile In order to adopt a child.

A couple I am friends with were rejected for adoption because they were both university lecturers. It was thought that they would remove the child from their working class roots.

I went through years of infertility before I was incredibly lucky to fall pregnant first time following IVF treatment. I found the whole journey of infertility incredibly distressing and it caused permanent damage to several friendships and family relationships. Despite this my DH and I decided that if despite treatment we did not end up with a child then we would not be pursuing adoption. I already felt like an utter failure and less of a woman because I hadn’t managed to get pregnant - had I gone through the whole adoption process and been rejected by the relevant authorities as not being suitable parent material after everything we had been through then it would have utterly destroyed me. I feel total admiration for people who adopt other people’s children but it’s not for everyone and it is not the same as having a baby. These children are often emotionally damaged and it is not a smooth process. Before I had my baby I got sick to the back teeth of hearing “why not just adopt”. People who come out with this comment are just thick and ignorant.

I thought that headline was stupid.
Very few babies are given up to be adopted which is why adoption is rare.

@kooshbin adoption wasn't the "last resort" for me on the two occasions I did it. And my two healthy babies would also argue your other point.

And I also wonder sometimes about these anecdotal reasons about why people aren't taken forward to adopt. Perhaps if it's 'someone you know' they may not be being completely honest.

University lectures being unable to adopt because of removing a child from its working class roots? At the point of approval, there is usually no information about the details of an individual child - how would social services even know the background of an unidentified child? And also - my DH and I have very 'middle class' careers. We just had to demonstrate security and earning potential