AIBU DP looking at pictures

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SO maybe one for relationships but I want to see if I’ve over reacted or not.
DP of 11 years who has many times been caught messaging girls but as far as I know never has actually cheated on me.
Last week he went out to walk the dog and left his phone at home, it rang and I went to answer it but missed it. It was his Mum so thought I’d ring her back. Opened his phone to be confronted with a pic of a friend of his on Facebook in a bikini in a hot tub, zoomed in on her tits.
I asked him when he got back wtf he was doing and he was so calm blasé about it saying that everyone has a perv when it pops up on their timeline. It wasn’t on his timeline though, he had searched for her and gone though her photos. This totally creeped me out that he is such a sleaze.
He said I’m over reacting and things have been frosty between us since.
AIBU to still be upset and fuming? And what would you do?

Honestly, I would leave! He sounds like a twat and you’ve put up with his pervy ways for ages!

Yea he's an absolute sleeze. Do you want to be with a guy who stalks via Facebook and zooms in on someone's tits. If it bothers you tell him not to do it as it compromises relationship. If he's not prepared to and you can't accept it, then maybe move on

I think I'd be tempted to leave him due to the messaging plus this. But if you want to stay with him I'd print out a few pictures of hot men and stick them up round the house. When he complains, tell him you want a proper conversation about this.

What solution would you be happy with? Him looking at porn? Him looking only at unknown women on line? Him never looking at pictures of women again?

Have you actually got any self respect?

The only tits that are worth looking at our my wife's.

If he think differently he is wrong (I mean he should only want to look at yours not my wife's :-) )
Keeping pics like that sounds really odd behaviour so does messaging other girls.
You should be the only one that if of any interest.

Perv alert.

He’s messaged other girls too? In what way is that acceptable???

His behaviour is disrespectful towards you and throws he is perving over. I would find that fact very difficult to accept. Not normal male behavior imo.

Those not throws.... although some throws are nice this time of year ...

He has been messaging GIRLS?

Do you mean women?

The tits thing I couldn't get too hung up on tbh, I'm married to a man and I love a nice pair of tits.

@ENormaSnob no I haven’t.

Yes other women, some younger than me.

You’re right, I know you are. I just don’t know how to get him to leave without destroying our family.

Yuck. Unacceptable. So sorry OP.

DP of 11 years who has many times been caught messaging girls but as far as I know never has actually cheated on me.

You see, I'd count messaging other women (in a flirty or sexual way) as cheating anyway. The fact that he's done this several times shows he doesn't have much respect for his relationship with you. Searching for and then perving over photos of another woman is just another symptom of that.

I just don’t know how to get him to leave without destroying our family.

He's destroying the family with his behaviour, not you.

You’ve accepted him messaging other women many times, I don’t see how this latest thing is any worse. No wonder his response was so blasé,

I'm with John4703

He should only be interested in you. Perving on other women is gross.