To not get misery guts like my sister?

[GlitterGlass]

She one of those people who can't see other people having nice things without having a moan.

For example someone we know who happens to live in an ex-council house bought a luxury car recently.
Dsis couldn't stop going on about it with loads of 'what does she think she looks like driving about a council estate in that' and 'I don't see why people pay stupid money for cars, I've always been happy with my cheap little car' type comments.

Or she can't see my kids in nice clothes without feeling the need to tell me what a waste of money it is and how they'll just get ruined.

I loved her to bits and sometimes she great to spend time with but other times she's just an exhausting cloud of gossipy grey misery.

Tell her just that?

I do tell her she's being bore if she keeps going on about something and she'll stop for a wee while until she's found something else to moan about.

Tbh I just wanted to vent as I was out with her today and she was in a particularly judgy mood and she just about drove me round the bend.

Your sister is reading MN.

She must be. It is just the place for her.

But you're judging her

I think we have the same sister !!

I'm like 98% sure she doesn't have mn but your first comment did make me jump Fafoutis.

I know it's a bit daft moaning about someone moaning but in my defence her moaning has an impact on me whereas other people spending their own money on nice things doesn't affect her at all

My dm and dsis are the same. Also my dp at times too. Dm likes to bond with people through moaning as she can more easily identify with people if they're feeling disgruntled about something. She can be quite competitive and views compliments directed towards other people as a put down directed at herself. She can't bring herself to be pleased for someone elses good fortune without the sense of it detracting from her somehow. Finding fault in others gives her the opportunity to feel superior. It's all very tedious.

Sorry.

She sounds like half of mumsnet tbh, some people just like a moan or don’t like seeing others enjoy anything.

I used to have a friend like that. She got worse and worse as time went by. She actively would go out and try and ruin things for people. Like a mutual friend set up a home business, she rang the council that there was a business running out of the house without permission (the Council had granted permission). When she was called out on it, she said the girl was getting above herself and needed to be taken down a peg or two.

I don't buy expensive clothes for kids and I wouldn't spend my money on a fancy car. Maybe your sister just sees the world in a different way.

That's awful, Purple!

I may recommend mn to her so she can moan at the internet instead of me

But my problem isn't that she doesn't like expensive cars or clothes, Lethal.
It's that she doesn't seem to understand that other people can enjoy she things that she doesn't.
And mostly that she very vocal about it.

My PIL are like that. Joy suckers. So depressing but you can’t call them out on it as they just get defensive which is just as bad.

I have no time for people like this. Life has too many good things to spend time being jealous and miserable about what other people do, say, or own!

Obvs since it's your sister, you can't just drop her (I suppose). All you can do is when she starts in simply say "Sis, I don't want to hear/talk about . Let's talk about something happier!" It may be helpful to have a few subjects you can start in on to change the subject to something more conducive to a pleasant visit!

I have a friend like this, always so negative about anything other people do. Also goes to the worst case scenario in any given situation. I am one of the few people who is not two faced and calls her out on it. I make her laugh at herself because I do it nicely, with a smile on my face.

I'm sure I've seen an identical thread to this really recently only the OP lived in an ex council house and had bought a nice car and her mother had told her people who lived were she lived shouldn't have nice cars.

What a coincidence!

On point: your sister obviously has issues with perceived status and lifestyle envy

My sister's a joy sucker too. I love her loads, but I find this element of her bloody difficult!

She can literally turn any fun situation/event/comment into something miserable.

Some people can't stand other people making different choices to them, and take it as an insult to their choices.

Some people are really puritanical about "wasteful" spending. The idea that money should be spent on things that are fun and bring joy, rather than just what is the bare minimum of 'need', is seen as morally wrong.

I think MattBerrysHair has nailed it with her comment about persistent complainers feeling that compliments towards others are a dig at them.

Everyone has a rant now and then, but constant complainers are so draining to be around.

Dm likes to bond with people through moaning as she can more easily identify with people if they're feeling disgruntled about something. She can be quite competitive and views compliments directed towards other people as a put down directed at herself. She can't bring herself to be pleased for someone elses good fortune without the sense of it detracting from her somehow. Finding fault in others gives her the opportunity to feel superior. It's all very tedious.

I used to work with someone like this. Small office, just me and her, 30 hours a week. I left. You do end up whinging about the whinging, in a meta-whinge. It just drags you down.