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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

OH and losing weight

10 replies

Fattofit · 03/11/2018 10:02

I'm trying to lose weight at the mo, so far I've dropped about 2st and am now a sz 18. Which is great.

I want to keep this going and my aim is to get to within normal BMI which means I need to drop another 4.5 stone.

OH is encouraging of my attempts to eat more healthily and do more exercise, but has also said more than once don't loose too much weight/ get too thin. When we met I was about 2st less than I am now but still some way from normal BMI. OH has also asked if I think I can actually lose another 4.5st? (my weight loss has slowed after the first few weeks and is now about 2lb a week) and will I be able to get that low?

AIBU to feel a bit miffed about this or is he just being realistic (he'd say the latter).

OP posts:

dentydown · 03/11/2018 10:10

He could be insecure about the weight loss. I am in the same situation like you and oh noticed and is getting insecure! I ended up saying “oh ffs! I’m still obese!” At him when he was moaning about me losin 2 stone.

niccyb · 03/11/2018 10:11

Keep going. only you can and should be the one decide on your journey. It’s your body. Good luck xx

Comenext · 03/11/2018 10:14

Two pounds a week is a good loss. Keep it up. There's no harm in trying to be better and healthier. Do it for yourself.

Original poster

Fattofit · 03/11/2018 10:19

I'm not sure it's insecurity. He loves me no matter what size I am - I gained 4st odd since we met and he never told me to lose weight it was me that wanted to .
So I am definitely doing this for myself. I think his comments have just worried me a bit as to whether I'll be able to keep losing for another 4.5st.

OP posts:

Spanglyprincess1 · 03/11/2018 10:21

Maybe he wants to reassure himself that you will still love him regardless of your weight. Also maybe he's worried about your health as it's a big number or dosnt want you dispaounted? . Or maybe he finds larger ladies attractive? My exh didn't like me thinner and preferred in terms of being more sexually attracted to me when I was alrger.
It's nice that he is mostly being supportive.

Cherries101 · 03/11/2018 10:24

He’s probably being polite. My DH said the same thing and then when I finally lost the weight confessed that he always wanted me to get back to the weight I was when we met but didn’t know how to tell me without hurting me.

C0untDucku1a · 03/11/2018 10:29

2 poind a week is maintainable weight loss. Keep going. Approaching it like a marathon will have better long-term effects, rather than gimmicky diets and piling it back on. It is about changing eating habits in a long term achievable and realistic way, and portion size control. That is crucial. So many people just eat way too much! Too much cereal
At breakfast, too much at lunch... that all adds up. Measure out and get used to
Seeing the right size portion.

Youre doing so well. Dont be put ofd and disheartened. Maybe not tell him so
Much as he seems A bit insecure.

thecatsthecats · 03/11/2018 10:30

Are you tall/big boned OP?

Just wondering because I was about 14st when I got together with my fiance, and he flat wouldn't believe that I was that weight.

I'm over 5'8", with wide hips, shoulders, big boobs, so at 14st I had a 28" waist and was very, and the doctor just agreed that BMI wasn't a great fit for me.

I'm currently 17.5st (lost 4st). "Officially" I need to lose another 5 at least, but my fiance just can't see it, and tbh, I can't see it myself. I aim to lose 3 and see where it gets me.

Runnynosehunny · 03/11/2018 11:01

OH has also asked if I think I can actually lose another 4.5st?

In order to maintain your weight loss you will need to continue eating much as you are now. At a lighter weight you will need less calories to maintain your weight so you will only need a small amount more than you are eating now to maintain your weight. Someone I know of lost a lot of weight on SW and they still stick to SW with just an extra 'healthy B' (portion of carbs) and a little extra milk, each day plus the odd meal out occasionally. So its really a question of keeping on with what you are now doing long term. If you feel you can do that then you will get to your goal even if it slows down a bit as you get closer to your goal weight, and maintain long term. Is your current diet something you could imagine sticking to for life with just the odd modifications? If so there is no reason you can't do it. Another advantage of thinking long term is that your oh will get used to your new lifestyle and it won't be a big deal. At the moment it probably seems like a big change to you both. But in 5 years time it will just be routine. But you will have been slim for 4 years

Original poster

Fattofit · 03/11/2018 11:19

I wouldn't say I am big boned or tall I think I'm just under 5ft 7. I do gave quite big/ muscly legs as I walk a lot, even when I'm lighter my legs aren't much smaller and I struggle to get long boots to fit. And skinny jeans don't go over my calves.

I am eating healthily rather than dieting. I watch my portions now too. I would be happy to eat like this with the odd meal out or takeaway (I do love a chicken shish but mainly for the salad anyway!). OH doesn't have to eat exactly like me- I've given up bread/ butter (I might have some as an occasional treat but that's it) but I still buy it for him. And we still have crisps, treats etc I just buy healthier ones and make sure I don't have more than 1 a day. So it doesn't affect him too much.

OP posts:

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