Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find this grossly romantic

24 replies

FleurDeLips · 03/11/2018 01:06

I am in a quite new relationship and on our sleepover nights he has been driving me crazy getting out of bed multiple times to go to the bathroom. Then I am awake and toss and turn then keep him awake longer and we are both not getting much sleep.

What I was thinking he is only in 40’s, bit young for prostate issues? Can’t be up to other things as we had sex not long ago and he isn’t gone long enough (and never takes his phone).

So I asked him a few times why because it wakes me up. He sheepishly and very seriously has now confessed he is going to the bathroom to pass wind. Because he thinks i will find it gross and won’t like it and doesn’t want to inflict it on me. This leads me to wonder how much wind someone is producing through the night that they need to leave the room. I feel pressure now to have to give encouragement for the passing of the gas in my presence, will this open some kind of fart floodgates that I can never close.

What I can’t understand is his logic that leaving the room and waking me up is better than waiting for me to fall asleep and then pass the gas when I probably would never even know about it. But the sentiment is so nice that he is protecting me from his farts although I couldn’t look at him and keep a straight face during this ‘confession’ or ask further questions about his intestines.

charcoal pants for Christmas? His own sleeping bag on top of the bed? Any other ideas?

OP posts:
pippa999 · 03/11/2018 01:10

Oh FFS! Hmm What is WRONG with people tonight?

Did you seriously start a thread about your new boyfriend leaving the room to crack one off in the bathroom, (instead of in your bed,) and say you find it 'romantic?'

You couldn't make it up! Confused

Do you seriously have nothing better to do?

Honeyroar · 03/11/2018 01:10

Just enjoy the moment. One day he won't! (and aww, bless him for it. Did he blush when he told you!)

MumGoneCrazy · 03/11/2018 01:10

Maybe he would rather wake you to go to the bathroom than you wake up to a really loud, smelly one. DH does them after certain takeaways and I've been woken by them and gagged on the smell. EnvyHmm

FleurDeLips · 03/11/2018 01:12

I mean everyone does it. It was just a lighthearted thread sorry for any offence. I can’t sleep tonight for some reason and my TV aerial is on the blink Brew

OP posts:
Disquieted1 · 03/11/2018 01:14

Ah bless. Before you know it he'll be farting in front of you and asking you to 'pull that finger'.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 03/11/2018 01:15

😴

FleurDeLips · 03/11/2018 01:16

@Disquieted1

I would really hate that. I don’t see the humour in it at all! I think he knows I would be Hmm

OP posts:
FastWindow · 03/11/2018 01:17

Your TV aerial is on the blink?

I suggest you adjust it four decades to the right.

Fatasfook · 03/11/2018 01:18

Best way to deal with this is to let off a major fart in his presence then you will both be in the next stage of a healthy relationship

vodkaredbullgirl · 03/11/2018 01:20

are you sure hes not going to the bathroom for an extra wank lol

FleurDeLips · 03/11/2018 01:23

The booster has tripped and I can’t get it to turn back on! Not sure it has any time travel options.

I don’t think I am ready for letting rip I mean how long into a relationship does that become normal? No he’s not wanking he’s only gone a couple of minutes

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 03/11/2018 01:38

Cut down or if you can cut out his white fluffy carbs and beer. He'll not be so gassy then.

Dotty1970 · 03/11/2018 01:57

😴

hungryhippo90 · 03/11/2018 02:12

Can I share?
My DH used to do this. I couldn’t understand why he would walk away and be back in a minute or so later. I thought it was very sweet. I was 20 at the time, we laughed about it, and he continued on.

^^high point of our relationship.
Low point was when I tried to tickle him one morning in bed, he farted (had an Indian the night before so real strong smell!) and trapped me under the duvet with the smell.

I was sick, it’s something we laugh about now. Probably 6 years later.

Enjoy it whilst it lasts I say!

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 03/11/2018 02:33

Oh ffs when did a fart become romantic?!

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 03/11/2018 02:36

Funny? Yes
Amusing? Yes
Romantic? Noooooooooo
He sounds like a big disgusting bag of wind

Cunnyfunt18 · 03/11/2018 02:42

Been with my partner 2 1/2 years n the first time I stayed over I went home really ill and in agony with a sore stomach due to holding my wind in... Also have a 5 month old n dp was there at the birth so he's defo seen and heard alot worse than me farting Grin

Blackness78 · 03/11/2018 02:50

Your TV aerial is on the blink?

I suggest you adjust it four decades to the right.

Grin
FastWindow · 03/11/2018 03:10

Well, if this a real thread, I'll share.

Married ten years. All toilet related stuff is still confined to the bathroom. Thank the lord.
Previous dh thought it was appropriate to guff in the car the morning after a night out Windows down!! Jesus. Or let rip first thing and then roll over with a smile and a 'morning!' Yes, I divorced him.

Skittlesandbeer · 03/11/2018 03:12

Banish him back to his own bed until he talks to his GP and improves his diet. Fermented veggies to repopulate his guts with the good stuff.

This is squarely his problem to solve, not yours. And by the way, sneaking off to fart elsewhere isn’t the issue, it’s how he’s doing it. No need for anyone to wake up, just roll out quietly, feel your way to the door, no lights on, fart, then quietly back in. What’s with all the noise & bouncing bed & lights business? Does he want applause?? Points for being so considerate? Sheesh!

1forAll74 · 03/11/2018 03:15

Your partner needs to take his phone to the bathroom,and record his farts,then bring the phone back to you,so you can hear them, and not smell them ! that would be an oddly romantic thing to do !!

toherdoor · 03/11/2018 03:17

Honestly why is farting such a big deal. Floodgates? Just fart. Who cares.

Speakupspeakout · 03/11/2018 03:21

Your TV aerial is on the blink?

I suggest you adjust it four decades to the right

Best comment I've read all week Grin

FastWindow · 03/11/2018 03:23

Some can. Some don't. I'm married to a don't. I kind of prefer it to one married couple I know where the dh shits quite happily in the same room when the wife's in the actual bath. Having a nice relaxing bath. Ick. But each to their own!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page