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AIBU?

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Original poster

I have to honour this purchase, don't I?

18 replies

EbayConundrum · 02/11/2018 15:33

I'm having a bit of a clear out - mostly baby stuff, clothes and shoes. Some's gone to charity, some I've popped on Ebay. I usually say that I won't post internationally, but obviously forgot on one item - a large baby toy. The winning bidder was someone from Poland who asked me to send her the final 'invoice' with postage added. She won the toy for £5 but postage (just postage, not packaging which I usually cover myself) is coming in at £15.
I sent her an invoice for £20, explaining my mistake and saying that if the postage was too much and she wanted to back out that would be fine. She's now replied saying that she wants to bid on some of my other items and then will pay for everything together - I guess so postage will be amalgamated.
I feel really uncomfortable about this. On a very simple level I just want the toy out of my flat asap because it's BIG and some of my other items aren't going to end their auctions for another week or two. On another - I don't like the idea of sending things overseas. I'll get them tracked but I don't like the idea of risking what will end up being a decent sum of money (to me) to a postal system that I don't know.
However, I feel as though I should agree to her suggestion. It was my mistake and so I should swallow the inconvenience, right? Or would I be reasonable to go back to her and say 'sorry, I actually don't want to send this internationally or wait for payment at all' and risk the bad feedback?
Just to be clear - I don't have any reason to distrust this buyer - she's been on ebay since 2016 and has over 500 ratings, 100% positive, so I don't think it's a scam.
Sorry for the essay! I know it's a massive first world problem but I'm getting disproportionately stressed by it!

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/11/2018 15:35

Since your mistake doesn't inconvenience anyone except yourself, I don't see why you feel apologetic?

Just say exactly what you suggest, that you'd prefer not to wait but thanks for the offer. It's not rude of her to suggest it but no one normal would mind you saying no.

CuckooCuckooClock · 02/11/2018 15:38

Just tell her the truth.
Say you'll honour this sale but you don't usually post internationally so she can't buy any of your other stuff.
Then she can decide if she still wants it or not.

Piffle11 · 02/11/2018 15:46

But don't you just send things to the eBay distribution centre now? It's brilliant! I never used to post abroad, but now I tick most EU countries too as I charge standard Royal Mail delivery, then eBay calculates the postage to the buyer's country … so although I'm only getting, say, £3.95 for postage to Doncaster (I think that's where their distribution centre is), the buyer is paying an extra £15 to get it posted from there to their address.

Piffle11 · 02/11/2018 15:48

Posted too soon! Make sure your other listings declare that any abroad buyers are going via the distribution centre.

Trappedin · 02/11/2018 15:52

There is a box limit and weight size for international. So it would need a courier at £60 if large

Di11y · 02/11/2018 15:58

if the others aren't down as international tell her you'll honour this sale but she can't amalgamate

Original poster
EbayConundrum · 02/11/2018 15:58

Piffle I thought that was the case but for some reason it didn't apply to this purchase (I checked with the Ebay team - didn't really understand the reasoning but they confirmed it wasn't eligible).

OP posts:
Original poster
EbayConundrum · 02/11/2018 16:00

Di11y I've just done that. Don't really know why I've been overthinking it so much. I think I'm scared of getting bad feedback and hate confrontation or saying no to people!

OP posts:
keepingbees · 02/11/2018 16:09

I see you've messaged her now but I was going to say to ask what items she wanted then put a buy it now on for her so you don't have to wait around for them to end.
Don't beat yourself up over a mistake :-)

Piffle11 · 02/11/2018 16:10

Is it all doable for you? Is it going to be easy enough to post all the stuff she wants to buy? Work it out and if not, tell her that you're happy to send the item she's already bought, but not the other stuff. And if she still wants to go ahead with any purchase make sure you tell her the cost for the Airsure tracked service (I think that's what it is). The thing is, if you're honest with her and being decent about it, if she gets nasty and leaves bad feedback then I think you can ask eBay to look at it and they may be able to remove it. They can look at messages sent between the two of you.

dingdongdigeridoo · 02/11/2018 16:13

I’d just cancel the transaction if possible. So many scams from international buyers. I’m guessing in a few weeks she’ll claim the items haven’t arrived and you’ll have to refund as you won’t be able to track the parcel. But there are lots of different scams.

Branleuse · 02/11/2018 16:31

I suspect that what most people do when they dont want to honour a purchase, is suddenly find a defect that means that you wouldnt be happy to sell it anymore, and the purchase is then cancelled.
Ive had this done to me before anyway, and usually when a sale was for much less than they probably wanted.

Original poster
EbayConundrum · 02/11/2018 16:35

Branleuse I've had this done to me before too and I think it's really shoddy. If you don't get the amount you want for an item you shouldn't put it on auction (not you personally, I mean - ebay sellers in general!). I absolutely won't be that person.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2018 16:56

No you don't, just tell the buyer that it is going to cost you more on the postage than the item, and that you will refund their money. That is what I did to an international buyer. Next time, set your selling, to only UK customers, no international buyers, that is what I do.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2018 17:07

I think that I forgot to do this, that one time. But Noway was I going to spend shedloads of money (Item itemself came to £15 with £5 postage on top of that), sending a bunch of stuffed toys to Italy.

SirGawain · 02/11/2018 17:17

All you agreed to was to send one item, that does not commit you do doing this for every item you now want to sell.

lovingmatleave · 02/11/2018 17:23

I don't see the problem if she is willing to pay the postage. Its the same parcel so no extra hassle really. You can get proof of posting as long as you have that you are covered. I send all round the world, mainly using the Global posting system ebay have, but have sent the odd thing abroad normal mail, my last thing being a 1 pair of bikini bottoms all the way to Canada!

RandomMess · 02/11/2018 17:23

Can you actually get delivery to Poland with proof of signature? If you can't I would refuse to send it as you won't have sellers protection.

With regards to the other items just explain they are UK only and the one she won was also meant to be UK only.

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