to want to know who is in my house?

[TheKitchenWitch]

I've made lunch. DH is downstairs. I'm calling him up to eat, he's not responding. I can vaguely hear him talking so assume he is on the phone. After quite a while I call again, getting slightly more annoyed. DS2 and I have already finihsed lunch by this time. Eventually I think fuck it, if he's hungry he'll come up.
DH then comes up, so I ask what he's up to as I've made lunch. His repsonse is that his friend has popped over and they are downstairs fixing the friend's bike.
Now, I think it is really really odd that DH didn't mention that there was someone else here, especially as I'm calling down again and again and he MUST have heard me. I also might want to go down and say hi, which surely is just polite when someone comes over?

He's done this a couple of times and I think it is odd. His take on it was that I'd heard him discussing it on the phone earlier today so I should have known.
I did indeed hear him talking to someone on the phone but actually I wasn't listening to his conversation (why would i?) and even if I had picked up that someone was coming over at some point, surely you'd still call up "Oi KitchenWitch, friend XY is here so I'll be up for lunch a bit later".

I am feeling (unreasonably?) annoyed about this!

Yanbu. It's just courtesy to let you know someone is in the house. It points to a lack of respect on his part. It reminds me of a similar thread where op's dh would leave the house for ages without letting her know. She had been sat next to him on the sofa!!

I think the rudest bit was him ignoring you calling to him if he could definitely hear you. If you know his friend then yes it would also be polite to let you exchange pleasantries briefly and then say they were both going off to fix the bike.

Agree with pp. He ignored you calling out to him. He expressed how little he thinks of you in front of his friend.

Depends on the household, but I let my partner know if someone’s coming round and vice versa. Ignoring you calling is super rude.

My partner thinks shouting from one floor to another is rude (I don’t) so maybe he was ignoring you because of that?

Just ask him why he didn't reply?

As for his friend, did you not hear the doorbell/knocker?

(rachelfrost My DH will shout a question from another room. I then have to get up to go and answer him because he can't hear my reply . Drives me mad.)

Oi KitchenWitch, friend XY is here so I'll be up for lunch a bit later

Just shocked he calls you kitchen witch, shows no respect to you at all.

DontCallMeCharlotte
Yeah, I’m with you on that. But he doesn’t like his name being called- like if dinner’s ready. He calls it ‘shouting’ as in ‘shouting at someone’. I’m happy not to do it but don’t consider it rude if it’s done nicely.

I'm assuming he could hear me as I could hear him talking (although not waht he was saying, hence me thinking he was on the phone - I couldn't hear the friend replying), maybe I'm being unfair about that bit though.

Friend did not come in front door, he came directly round the back, which is downstairs where dh's workshop is.

When I asked him why he didn't say anything, he said he assumed I'd heard him arranging it earlier when he was talking to his friend.

It's just pissed me off as I hate the idea of someone being in the house and me not knowing about.

We shout from floor to floor all the time, I only the the echo to call ds1 because he has the top floor and his door shut most of the time.

My not so DF used to be a stupid moron for this. I remember how he once had a friend in the apartment, didn't say a word, he knew I was home heading out so I was getting changed. I was 16 at the time.
I walked into the living room only in my bra, there's his friend ogling me. I quickly left but instead of at least apologising, the prick that was so proud of his achievements as a parent only laughed at my embarrassment while his friend had some leery remarks which only resulted in more laughter because apparently it's OK if your middle aged friends are making sly jokes about your 16y old daughter.

IAmNotLikeThem "Just shocked he calls you kitchen witch, shows no respect to you at all."

The OP clearly didn't want to give her real name on here so just substituted it for her MN user name. It doesn't mean that's really what he calls her!

What if you had dropped some of your lunch on your top and wanted to get changed, removed your top and decided to wear a top that was in the tumble dryer or left downstairs after you/dh had ironed it last night?

I would have just gone down, avoided the windows so no one outside could see me, found the top and put it on. If you had done that you might have come across dh and his friend while half dressed. Your dh might not have minded but you and friend might have been a smidge embarrassed.

I regularly go downstairs like this first thing in the morning to grab a few tops to take up as I've left them the night before. Yesterday I changed my top in the sitting room as was looking for things to fill a half empty washing machine and had the previous days top on until I got the orange top I'd wanted to wear from over the back of the sofa.

Changed downstairs (but put my orange top on on top of my black one and pulled the orange one out from underneath as our two teens were in the room.) If someone else had walked in through the door I would not have been impressed, I would have wanted to have known if there was someone not from immediate family in the house.

Also, what if you'd had a childfree day and had other thoughts than eating lunch? You might not have been calling on your dh for food!

Your dh should have told you a friend was there. Just because he's had a phone conversation about it doesn't mean you have heard the whole thing and know what is going on. (Maybe you didn't like something about the friend and had chosen that time to mention it to your dh) There are many different scenarios you would want to try to avoid if other people are around, you need warning so you don't cause some of them to happen!

This wouldn’t even register to me at all.