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AIBU?

Asking Mum to put her dog outside/in a crate at my house

5 replies

StoppinBy · 02/11/2018 00:02

Sorry for the long post.

My Nephews will be visiting this afternoon, my mother being the fantastic Mum she is has not seen the boys in about 5 - 6 years - there is always a reason, she has brand new puppies that she can't leave at home with her partner, it's too hot to leave the dog outside to come in to town to my house when they visit etc.

My sister lives interstate so they probably visit once/twice a year and we also try to visit once every year or so with our kids.

Anywho they have come down at short notice today (for a funeral) and my Mum has been invited to visit, she will be working prior to their visit so will have her dog.

I have a 5 year old and 17mth old, the boys are 8 and 12, they all run round like crazy people when they get together of course and are loud and a bit rough, which is fine, they all enjoy it, I have asked my Mum to put the dog outside or in a crate while she visits so I do not have to watch my toddler constantly to keep him away. To be honest other people's dogs around my young children stress me out.

She has thrown a big hissy fit and has said she will try to meet the boys elsewhere between her finishing work at 3 and them coming here at 4.

I think my request is reasonable and by the same token will be separating our own dog from the little one as well (big ones can come and go as they please) so I can relax while they visit. Is my request really unfair?

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Maelstrop · 02/11/2018 00:09

Nope, you are being totally reasonable, but given what you’ve said, your dm prioritises the dog(s) and has done for some time. I would just tell her fine, she can meet them elsewhere but if your sister doesn’t want to, then fine. I think your mum is being ridiculous and I say that as a crazy dog owner of 3!

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Aquamarine1029 · 02/11/2018 00:30

Let her have her tantrum and don't back down. The cheek on her is unbelievable. This is YOUR home and you make the rules.

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hungryhippo90 · 02/11/2018 01:59

Completely ridiculous on her part, the two craziest dog people I've met would both say, for a short visit, well ok I'll either arrange some dog care for a couple of hours, or leave the dog in the car-provided it was safe.

But then, I do want to say that might be odd by most others standards but my dog has some weird SA issues, he can't handle being left at home, but he understands that I will go back to the car, so his "place" is in our car. I have to explain all the time to people, it's just what works with him. He much prefers to be there than at home.

Is it too warm in your state to leave the dog in the car?

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StoppinBy · 02/11/2018 03:02

Thanks for the replies, yes my Mum prioritised her dogs before us kids/grandkids a very long time ago.

Yes it is too hot for her dog to be left in the car so I don't expect her to do that but all of her dogs (10 at last count, I lose track and as she breeds/shows she seems to accrue them faster than I change my undies haha) are crate trained so it is no biggie to do so she just doesn't want to, in fact gave me a lecture on if I would always feel the need to separate the dogs/kids etc etc.


Visiting her place has become hard since having kids as she usually refuses to separate her dogs who all run round growling at my kids while she tells me 'don't worry, they will get used to the kids and then they will be fine/as long as the kids don't run they will be fine etc etc and other stupid things. Her show dogs are a small breed but that not the point, a pack of them would do a lot of damage to my eldest and possibly worse to my youngest.

The particular dog that she is bringing is fine with the kids by all accounts but so is my own dog and I still choose to separate when I do not want/cannot have 100% of my attention on them and it is not just for the benefit of the dog, kids are also unpredictable and in my mind it takes 5 seconds of inattention for a toddler to bite an ear/pull a tail etc and be bitten in return.

Unfortunately my Mum thinks that because she never felt the need to separate us from the dogs that I am just over reacting, I kind of see it like I love my kids more than my dogs and so if I need to put the dog outside to separate them when I am busy or have a baby gate to keep him out of the lounge where the kids are etc when I am not watching them all then so be it Hmm

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StoppinBy · 02/11/2018 03:04

Sorry, that should say that separating is not just for the benefit of the child.

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