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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be worried about my sister's routine?

4 replies

eddiedarling · 01/11/2018 22:13

My little sister has just started a Masters. She did really well in her undergrad and we are all very proud of her! However, she's had quite bad mental health (self-harm and problems with eating), so we all keep a close eye on her in terms of checking in with her, etc.

She has been staying with me and my DH for her first term as we live in the city she is studying in. The plan is for her to find a flat in January (when she will have more money). My DH works from home in the mornings, and goes to work at lunch time and I come home at lunch times to feed cats and usually end up working from home (I am a research lecturer).

My sister gets up at 6am. Breakfast with me at 7am. Walks around the block until 7.30am - work starts at 8am. When I'm gone, DH says my sister puts her headphones on and does not look up from her laptop unless her asks her if she would like a cup of tea or to remind her to have lunch etc. She is less polite to me when I ask her (she tells me to stop interrupting her). She stops for her tea around 6pm. And then works up until 10pm at the kitchen table. This is everyday. She gets stressed if she has to take time away from study - often declines plans to go out and socialise.

When I ask her why she does it she says she wants to do well and prove she is more than her mental illness. I'm very worried that this is not normal behaviour - nor sustainable.

AIBU to ask for help in how to help my sis?

OP posts:
NewMummy0818 · 01/11/2018 22:34

I think as long as you can help her recognise if she’s approaching burnout it should be fine. It might be helping her to feel like she’s keeping on top of the workload.
I did a similar routine in my last year for uni and prob throughout the first 10 years of my career. You just need to know when to stop.

FatNoMorePat · 01/11/2018 23:48

What is she studying? Is there any way you can get her involved in activities that are similar to her degree but also allows her time out?

For example if she’s studying English, could you take her to see a play or a reading?

Rebecca36 · 01/11/2018 23:53

From what you say, I think your sister is managing her problems quite well and this routine is ideal for her while she is studying. It will inevitably change afterwards but by then she will, hopefully, have achieved something worthwhile and reached a milestone. She's right in saying there's more to her than her mental health and is proving that.

(You and your husband sound really nice and caring btw.)

Leannakate · 02/11/2018 12:05

Sounds like she's just a normal hardworking Masters student to me.

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