Dealing with teachers

[largepepperoniplease]

Mum to new school starter. I was hoping to blend in to the background with some obligatory niceties with child's teacher. But what happens when you disagree with a teacher or have issues? aibu to wonder whether it was realistic of me to think I can get through child's school life without the odd awkward clash? And to what degree do you sit back and let them and your child get on with it for an easy life?

You have a polite adult to adult discussion to address specific issues but are otherwise supportive. It feels like too many parents are over involved and don’t allow their children to develop relationships and a lifevthey aren’t in control of.

WTAF is this.... Ai potentially going to bu in the future maybe ish.

Just be a freaking adult and talk to any teacher you have a problem with. We are humans too!!

I've sat back pretty much and let my DC get on with it because I think that way they prosper best. Also, it makes life easier :)

We like to think we're human too. Just be clear and honest.

Whatever you may come across as your child goes through education, start with remembering that teachers genuinely do want what's best for your children so its usually best to support them. There might be times that you have to talk about something you disagree with, but just be nice and ask rather than accuse.

Have a reasonable discussion like erm a grown up.

Tbh it depends if it is a big issue or not, if its something trivial / minor I would leave it be and grit your teeth because it's going to be a long 7 years if complain about every minor thing you disagree with.

Why is it you need to deal with a teacher? You are borderline threatening using such phrasing. Did you intend that?

Also yes, it's perfectly realistic to think you won't have the odd awkward clash. I'm super confrontational and argumentative and I've managed eight DC (only one left at school, in Y12) without yet having had an awkward clash. Time is running out for an awkward clash. I have said grrrr a few times in the privacy of my own home but awkward clashes - no. Manage/ avoid (unless teacher deficiency amounts to a disciplinary matter I suppose - hasn't happened to us).

Depends how serious the issue is really.

Minor ones, I’d leave it be.

Major ones, I’d speak to the teacher. In a calm reasonable way.

Teachers are human too!

If you have concerns about something then talk to them. No need to make a drama of it.

From a teacher's POV; I'd rather know about issues when they are still minor, don't wait for a crisis. Most schools will want to make contact with parents, make the most of these opportunities whilst still on neutral ground, so to speak. Check your facts before you raise matters. Possibly befriend a mum who has seen older siblings through the school before; they can give perspective and context.
If you feel the need to raise matters, pick your moment (eg not as Miss emerges, slightly groggily, from her car first thing in the morning) and possibly arrange a meeting with a "heads up" e.g. "Mrs Largepepperoni would like to pop in after school about some worries minipepperoni has expressed about x y or z" (Gives the teacher a chance to root out relevant workbook, make a few enquiries, as relevant) That's all I can think of for now.

It so depends on what you are talking about.

Is your DC is desperately upset going in to school and you want to stay but teacher says no?

Or Your DC is getting pinched daily by Child A but teacher says they have to be partners for everything.?

Depends on the issue. Also it doesn't have an awkward clash,just a chat amongst grownups. I've had interactions with all of DD's teachers so far from minor things like reading level to a serious incident. All of them have been approachable,understanding,friendly and pretty awesome so far.

I think it's fine to bring things up. But please ask questions, listen and be prepared you may be special snowflaking your child.

Without knowing more info we can't help. If your child is being made to feel small or having their self esteem battered that is one thingn if you're annoyed that they missed break because some members if the class misbehaved, that's something else. I work in a nursery and I don't always agree with the way other staff operate, but we all have our styles of working. You can't expect everyone to teach as if you were teaching (also, it is way harder than it looks). . They probably think I'm weak at some things and they would be right. I'm not perfect.

Just talk to the teacher in an adult, non-threatening and civilised manner.

What is the issue? Teachers are human.

aibu to wonder whether it was realistic of me to think I can get through child's school life without the odd awkward clash I think a lot depends on your dc - if they are easy going and able life is easier. Special needs, socially awkward, a bit distracted - you will probably have to intervene more often. I have one of each and generally if it's something that is upsetting my dc I will speak to the teacher/school about it - I no longer care about being "that parent" I explain feelings and ask questions. Teachers are there to do a job and they sometimes need feedback - even if they don't want it!

Talk to the teacher but don't have unrealistic expectations - there's 30 kids in a class. Also don't try to have these chats at classroom door at drop off or pick up. Make appointment or ask for phonecall

Speak to us like we are humans? (Teachers that is). Also maybe take into account that child’s account might not always be the full one. I don’t know what you mean by let your child get on with it for an easy life? What are you suggesting the teacher will
Do?

I know of one teacher who made a 5 year old sit facing the wall in an attempt to make him concentrate - parent had to remove the child as the teacher refused to change her tactic, another teacher who punished the
whole class by making them keep arms in the air until they were all quiet - it took 20 mins! Another teacher who made a child kneel on the floor for an afternoon for swinging on her chair - don't let kids just deal with it - some teachers have bloody weird ideas about how to "deal' with kids.

I know of a doctor who killed lots of people on purpose. What's your point, Kingbee?

I don’t know what you mean by let your child get on with it for an easy life? What are you suggesting the teacher will
Do? "LJdorothy'" I'd suggest that letting your child get on with it for an easy life is a risky strategy.

Formatting fail!

"I don’t know what you mean by let your child get on with it for an easy life? What are you suggesting the teacher will
Do?"

LJdorothy I'd suggest that letting your child get on with it for an easy life is a risky strategy.

Not all teachers have best interests at heart, some quite frankly should have chosen another profession (as could be said for some in any occupation).

Be upfront, clear and calm about any concerns.

Be polite and friendly. Remember that teachers can make genuine mistakes and that even nice kids can put a selective spin on events if it'll get them out of trouble.
If you have any concerns or queries be reasonable and polite.

Whatever you do just ignore the frothy fuming approach that some on here advocate for every tiny thing. It doesn't get you taken seriously. School will think you're a right one.

The vast majority of teacher are reasonable. The vast majority of parents are reasonable.

Why is there a recruitment crisis for teaching? And why do so many leave? This thread and some attitudes in it explain a small part of why. “Deal with teachers”? Fuck off.