To ask how to become a more patient driver?

[PJBanana]

Commute is around an hours drive each way. I hate commuting but there aren’t many similar jobs local to me, so I’m stuck with it for the time being.

I’m really struggling with it. I’ve always been quite an impatient driver and I hate it, but I seem to have got a lot worse and I don’t know how to become more tolerant.

Yesterday I was following one of those cars that was doing a steady 40mph, even though we were in 50/60mph zones. I could feel myself getting so irate. I would never do anything aggressive like flashing/beeping/sticking fingers up etc, but I just feel myself getting so annoyed with other drivers during every commute, so much so that I arrive home feeling so much more tired and physically tense.

Anyone managed to get over something like this, or have any tips for “relaxing” a bit more whilst driving?

I’ve been driving long distances on and off for 10 years and only recently feel like I’ve become like this.

I listen to audiobooks when I drive, I've found it really calming. I also try to leave extra time for every journey so I'm not worried about being late.

That said, I do really hate people who drive so inconsiderately and slow the whole road down. We get a lot of folk round here who drove a solid 40mph along the 60mph road that passes through lots of 30mph villages

DH is a fast driver, in the end it makes very little difference, even over a long distance and the stress of constantly being up the chuff of the driver in front to hurry him up, or 2 inches from their bumper so you can blast past them at the first sign of a straight makes the journey crap. I have an iPhone so have audiobooks, podcasts, music, radio so my driven journeys are great .
Over a long distance ,say 6 hours, you may or may not hit roadworks, diversions, closed motorways so no guarantee of getting there quicker.

The audio books is a good idea, as is music or podcasts you’ve downloaded.

I found when I did a similar commute that listening to a scratchy, loud, jumpy show like the R2 breakfast show made me feel really edgy. Love Chris when I’m in my kitchen, can’t bear him in my car.

Also must radio shows follow a format, so if you know you need to be past a certain pint when Moira reads the 7.30 news and you’re nowhere near it makes matters worse.

But I agree, there’s a special place for people that drive 20mph below the road speed limit.

witchymcwitchface your DH sounds like a terrible driver! It's one's like him that cause accidents.

Leave earlier so you're not worried about being late. This is the best way I find x

Definitely agree with PPs about podcasts or audiobooks.

I think there's also something about taking your mind off 'having to get somewhere' and focusing on just enjoying the experience of driving, mindfulness-style.

I don't feel this impatience to the extent it feels like you do, but when I do notice it bubbling up in me, it's usually dissipated when I take the chance to look around me a bit (without distracting myself from the road, of course), and focus on enjoying something about right-now, rather than being in a hurry.

@WitchyMcWitchface don't you spend your journeys with your husband worrying you're going to die if the person in front of you needs to brake suddenly? I wouldn't go in the car with someone who drove '2inches' from someone's bumper. It's so dangerous (and aggressive).

Thank you for the tips... sounds like podcasts and audiobooks could be the way to go!

I already leave myself plenty of time in the mornings, so that isn’t an issue really. I think I just get annoyed at not being able to drive at 60 in a 60 when I’m behind a slow driver/lorry etc.

I would also like to point out that I don’t tailgate, and I like to think I’m a safe (but obviously not perfect!) driver. It’s just my mindset that needs to change. I actually become incredibly agitated when I’m being tailgated, and find it really difficult to keep cool!

I also like ladybees suggestion about mindfulness. I really try to think that being stuck behind someone slow isn’t the end of the world, and that it won’t matter tomorrow etc, I just don’t seem to be able to shake off this horrible tension every time I get in the car at the moment.