To ask why problems seem worse at 3am?

[Storm4star]

I have a stressful situation going on. It's not the end of the world, it's resolvable in a relatively short space of time. There isn't much I can do right now to fix it, it will just take a little time. I know this and during the day I feel ok. A bit fed up, but ok. But I woke up at 3am stressing about it, thinking of (unlikely) worst case scenarios, getting panicked about it etc. So I was thinking why do problems all seem so much worse in the middle of the night than in the light of day? I think I finally got back to sleep about 5:30. How do I make my rational day brain tell my night brain to relax?!

God yes. An audiobook usually helps me tune out the pointless worrying and fall asleep eventually.

It's anxiety related, isn't it? Most women I know do this.. Luckily I'm a night worker so my time for catastrophising is different!

RangeRider I'm not sure her neighbours would appreciate her hoovering at 3am

Just take Nytol. You'll sleep right through.

I try to be resolutely practical and make an action plan in my head. Pinpoint what the worry is, and think about what I can actually do about it - writing this down helps. If there is literally nothing I can do, I tell myself that I am not in control of that, and that I may worry IF 'it' happens but it may not, so do not worry until there's actually need to.

I hope that makes sense - sometimes a partial action plan is possible, for example dependant on speaking to someone - but even writing all that down (or running through it logically) helps hugely and I can relax.

I’ve got this as well. I have Kindle next to my bed with some light reading and mobile with MN. I also try not to go to bed too early, cut caffeine and TV before bedtime.
Everything in life looks so dark and miserable when it’s dark.

During a really bad time in my life I suffered this, like a huge wave of anxiety I couldn’t reason with. Have since had CBT and a few ways to deal with it (for me, anyway) are: listening low volume to LBC - you don’t feel alone with a talk radio station, making warm milk or having a bowl of cereal to make me soporific again and also deep breaths. Wouldn’t recommend looking at anything stimulating like smart phone or pad, made me feel worse/too alert.
Hope this phase ends for you soon. X

Sound familiar?

I tried to get up and write worries down a few times but it actually made things worse as I felt cold and couldn’t get back to sleep at all. And I can’t do much at this hour as my DD and DH both are light sleepers.

I was one awake for 2 hours at 3am stressing about what would happen if DS got into an airlock and got shot into outer space. He was 2yo at the time.

I get this really badly especially post menopause. I have read that it is due to an over stressed adrenal gland sending a squirt of adrenalin that wakes you up feeling anxious - your brain then fills in the gaps. I have looked at treatments in the past for adrenal failure which apparently can help with this but not followed through so far. Will give it a go at some point though as I hate the 3am horrors!

I am so relieved to read your experiences. I woke up in a cold sweat the other night worrying for the future happiness of a woman who was on Grand Designs.
Why?? Stupid brain!

Jesus

I get this, recently moved jobs and was agitating about applications or interviews, butterflies and scattered brain. Now have got a job am fretting over relatively minor issues with colleagues/my performance in others’ eyes! Mixed in with fear and sadness about an unwell parent and day-to-day crap!

I find a relatively boring book good, as is visualisation, which I learned as a child (when had trouble getting to sleep) and at least puts the imagination to good use! Meditation (headspace) also helps, often sends me off back to sleep.

I had this for ages with an awful job and used nytol

Floradix magnesium liquid at bedtime massively helped with the all the awful catastrophising thinky thoughts at 3am. Somehow just became easier to roll over and go back to sleep. I've tried other brands but this one has been best for sleep and a tired, worried, fretful mind. Worth giving it a go maybe?

Other than that, I've found consciously sending love to (or praying for, if you are that way inclined) people you know who are going through tough times is a nicer way to spend wakeful hours than anxiously rehearsing / replaying awful things. You are quite right, OP. 3am makes everything worse to the power of 10.

Wishing you a peaceful night OP. 🛏😴🌛

@Justforonequestion I was just going to post the Fleur Adcock poem but I see you've shared upthread! ☺️👍🏼 It's spot-on isn't it?

Try reading ‘the chimp paradox’ which explains the brain function very well - great for a laypersons understanding. Really helped to explain / understand unhelpful 3am thought processes and much else.

After reading the book several times I no longer have 3am overwhelmed thoughts and can deal with infuriating / worrying / difficult situations much better. Really recommend it.

Yep me too!

I try to think to myself - is there something tangible I can do now to fix this? If the answer is no I promise to myself that I’ll spend some time on it tomorrow.

Wikipedia is brill for a little read to relax me again. Especially relatively unexciting topics.

Another one here. Definitely work related for me, although in the cold light of day I know it’s daft. I seem only able to manage between 5 and 6 hours sleep a night, although I long for the solid 8 hours I used to get before kids!!

Things I’ve found helpful are magnesium (transdermal), iron (spa tone) and b12, and listening to a hypnosis track at the start of the night and as soon as I wake in the middle of the night, it stops my brain switching on too much.

It’s comforting to know it’s not just me though. Here’s hoping we all get a decent night tonight.....

Your body enters a state of heightened awareness in the dark, when you are not asleep. You take everything out of proportion because you are expecting to have to protect yourself from predators.

I have definitely found my people, see you all at 3.47! It's awful, we are going through a pretty stressful period financially but not going to cripple us (I hope) However instead of thinking of practical solutions (like in the daytime) lately I have been waking up at 3.47 catastrophising about such disasters as my prescriptions being delivered a day late (not unusual and I always leave a buffer) so I will end up crippled with pain and unable to look after the children who will be removed by ss (not sure where dh is in all this?!) Another one this week was worrying about whether or not dd2 will get a place in the same primary school as her sister (never been over subscribed and siblings get priority)

I'll join you. Either now or at 3 am. It's horrible so tired all the time

Every night this week I’ve been awake at 3/4am and barely get back to sleep. I just can’t switch my brain off at the moment.

Have a relatively minor problem regarding my friend today. I'll see you all at 3am where I will be convinced I have ruined a solid 20 year friendship and have decided she is plotting my demise. 

Thanks for all the suggestions, some good ones here that I will definitely try. Whenever I am the slightest bit stressed, sleep is always the first sign that I’m struggling. Here’s hoping to a good sleep for us all tonight!