Or is my parenting just a little bit crap...?

[tinkerbell72911]

DS is 4.5 and nowhere near dry at night, still slams through nappies, only ever had a dry one about 3 times. Tried a couple of times without and just soaks the bed without waking!

DD is 3 at the beginning of January and still in nappies, she's been doing the occasional poo and wee on the potty since I introduced the potty at 2 and we've tried going without nappies during the day 3 times and she wets herself. She still doesn't tell me when she's pooed in her nappy. I don't want to rush her when she's clearly not ready, but she's a very tall 2 year old and can talk very well and everyone we know who is her age and even younger is potty trained 😬

Also totally random but at 2 DS was always on a balance bike and a scooter and always doing puzzles.. DD isn't so great at any of those because I don't put the time into it.. I know all children are different and I can say that maybe she just isn't interested in those things but I feel like I haven't given her the opportunity, feeling like a bit of a crappy parent, I hope IBU but you may tell me I'm not and I am just a little bit crap! (Or a lot crap.. I can never tell what the response is going to be on here, fully prepared to be flamed 🙄)

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your parenting.

Nighttime dryness can’t be trained, it’ll happen when his body is ready for it to happen.

Daytime dryness not happening before 3 is no big deal, I’d want her dry before school if she was mine but my son didn’t potty train until 3.4 and then got it immediately (so much better than months or lugging around a potty and dealing with accidents!)

The bike and scooter thing, meh!

DS potty trained from 3-4. We only did it then because as a summer born he'd be going to school at just 4, he showed no interest himself and it was a hard and soul destroying process. He's now 8 and only just dry at night. After years of bed mats and 2am bed changes and alarms it has just now started to be OK.

DD is super bright, motivated, imaginative but crap on a bike. Partly because I don't have one, it's not part of our life and we don't really live somewhere it's easy to set off from for a ride but when I do make the effort to take them to a park DS is fine but she really struggles.
DS is screen obsessed, hates craft, writing and lego, DD loves them all. They have strengths and weaknesses and its a bout accepting who they are.. Encourage skills, eg I do make DS practise his writing but them not 'winning' at all areas doesn't make you a crap parent x

you will get loads of comments about not training them. but if they are not ready, they are not ready. (mine were latish, turns out one has a condition that makes it harder to train, and the other has a disability that also makes it harder to train)

My 8 year old is barely toilet trained, much to my continued frustration.

Would echo the night time dryness being 100 per cent about the body being ready. I have two boys, first wasn’t dry at night till 6, despite all the usual efforts. Second was dry at night at 2 despite doing nothing. You are NOT crap!

Read the oh crap potty training book and take things from there.

Try cloth nappies. They dislike the feeling of being wet so are encouraged to use the loo. Disposable ones are almost too good.

Night time training is a hormonal thing...anything up to age 7 is normal for boys.
Girl do tend to potty train earlier but she’s not even 3 yet so don’t fret...maybe try again when the weather gets warm in Spring?

DS 2.5 is potty trained in the day (and sometimes wakes in the night to go for a wee) but he is scared of his balance bike as it’s too wobbly and isn’t very good at puzzles :)

Elder dd was nearly 5 in the day and only got dry at night with medication. Younger dd was dry in the day same week as elder sis, we had delayed as dd1's psychiatrist advised this to avoid self esteem issues (she's autistic hence having a plethora of professionals interfering and in hindsight not helping!). They are all different but dr wasn't even vaguely interested about nighttime until 6, it's still normal range

My youngest DD wasn't dry at night until she was 11. Not due to my parenting or lack of but instead, that's when it was right for her. Same for you, parenting is hard, we make mistakes, question ourselves and our ability to parent, but we do our best and that is enough.

My eldest DS was 10 when he was finally dry at night. I had to change bed every day (even with mattress protectors and drynites pants) - we had to take him to get a bed alarm and he was on the desmopressin tablets for a while which I didn't like to give him - eventually it just settled on it's own but I worried he would never be. I know someone whose son is 16 now and still has bladder problems for which he may need an operation one day - it will all work out in the end, but don't make them feel pressured because that will make it worse.

Thank you everyone 😘

My DS is nearly 5 and still very wet at night. Doesn't seem to be linked to his daytime intake so there's not much I can do. It just takes as long as it takes. Good luck x

My two sons are 7 and 9. The 7 year old is only now becoming consistently dry overnight and the 9 year old started to keep dry overnight at around 8 and a half.
We tried all sorts of techniques to encourage dryness at night but ultimately I echo what PP have said... it seemed that they finally achieved this goal when they were ready, nighttime wetting happened less and less frequently until it stopped entirely and they never looked back.

So glad I have read this , my ds5 is still in pull ups at night have tried going without a few times and still wets the bed and will sleep through it too

my older two, dry in day at three and a half (but then could count the number of accidents on two hands and no 'training' required), dry at night rising 6 (and I think no bedwetting at all). Have a much younger dd (turned 3 a month ago) and nursery recently started putting pressure on re training. After some fruitless discussion I started sending her in pants. She has an accident most days while there - but they have to deal with it (which tbf they cheerfully do). She does use the loo/potty but if we leave pants on when she gets home she almost invaiably has an accident despite much prompting on our part. So she's mostly in a nappy at home, particularly when we're out and about. She's just not physiologically ready.

dd1 is 4.5 and not dry at night. though this week I've restricted drink after 5 and had 4 dry nights, totally unheard of.

she trained in the day at 3.2 and it was a nightmare, poos in her pants for months.

i still carry spares when out as she refuses to go until desperate. no accidents for months tho.