Paternity leave couldn't end sooner...

[WaxMermaid]

In the first two weeks of my maternity leave. DP has two weeks of paternity leave. Not fair and I absolutely feel like men should have longer, but such is life for now...

I feel like a bloody awful person for saying it but we are just getting under each other's feet. He's definitely a bit jealous of the fact that I'm breastfeeding and baby constantly wants me. He keeps telling me when the baby moans that 'he's just doing it because he wants comfort' when he is clearly eating his fingers and hungry. He battles with me to push the pram staying 'I'll push it' - I'm fine with this but he says it in a way that is quite condescending. Like 'my turn'. He wants to enjoy time with his DC and I love watching them together, but whilst I am focussed on establishing breast feeding, sorting myself out as I'm only a few days PP and suffering a bit with it, and getting in to a routine for when DP goes back to work, he is focussed on all the nice gooey moments and isn't really contributing much other than the odd nappy change...

AIBU to be absolutely desperate for him to go back to work? Or am I just bloody awful...

The first two weeks are SO hard and I think most people want to wring each other's necks. Remember that YOU are the o e who gave birth and your instincts are much stronger, you will k ow if baby is hungry. Make some plans for after he goes back to work, even if it's visiting a baby group, it will be something to look forward to.

Also have you looked into shared parental leave?

You both need to establish a bond before you establish a routine... while he's home take the chance to go sleep when baby isn't feeding and leave them to it. Soon enough it will be you and baby and you can get organise and then you'll be desperate for DP to walk in the door in the evening.

For me paternity leave was about getting cups of tea made for me and the laundry getting done, just get him busy?

Be glad you're not me then, my dp took four months shared parental leave, we're only on week 8!!! It is lovely in so many ways, he's looking after the baby loads, bonding, doing a lot of housework, but he's here all the time

I went back to work after two weeks, but work from home and was used to having the house to myself, so it is an adjustment!

Two weeks will go in no time

Agree with cuddlykitten.

Don't wish it away. When he's gone all day every day and it's just you and a grumpy teething baby, you'll be wishing this time back! Having a baby is wonderful but it's a team sport. He needs to bond with the baby as well. Establishing breast feeding is so important but so are Dad cuddles. If you want him to do things to help and contribute then ask him. Don't make out that because you're breastfeeding, the baby never wants him. That's not fair.

It is important for fathers to be able to bond with their children and not feeling pushed out. If you are breastfeeding for hours and your baby is sleeping most of the rest of the time, your DH probably feels he has a limited amount of time to spend feeling as if he is actively doing something for his baby and that’s probably why things like pushing the pram etc are important to him.