TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 31/10/2018 14:55
Firstly, an apology. I originally posted this in relationships but no one even looked at it after 2 days so I know this crowd is pretty active and tho I know it's not anything to be unreasonable about, I really do need help. A sort of AIBU moving it to this group, if you like...
My friend, a woman in her 50's, lives with a long-term partner who recently had a mild stroke. He's getting better, very slowly, but it has destroyed her mental health. She's now terrified she'll find him dead on the floor some day. Trouble is, she's the sole breadwinner and she simply doesn't want to leave him alone. She keeps taking days off work, crying in her office, anything to stay with him so she'll be there if there's an emergency. Working from home is not an option (NHS).
I'm trying to work through things mentally with her and find actual solutions to the things that are scaring her most - suggesting little cameras in the main rooms or one of these personal alarms, but she's not really engaging. She's exhausted, depressed and heading towards a breakdown, which won't help anyone. Twenty year old daughter is completely self-absorbed and won't lift a finger round the house and my pal just doesn't have the energy to fight. No one enters the DD's world, it's just there for her.
Can anyone suggest online counselling or a group she could contact for people with young stroke partners? I really feel she needs to talk to people who have been in this situation.
Alfie190 · 31/10/2018 15:13
My sister had a stroke last year, when she was 49. She has made contact with the Stroke Society, seems like a good place to start. //www.stroke.org.uk
TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 31/10/2018 21:15
Thank you. The doc has advised counselling but you know how or it can take to access that.
RuthiePe · 31/10/2018 21:26
If she's NHS she may be able to get counselling through their occ health. It's quite quick.
TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 01/11/2018 13:35
Thanks. I'll pass all this on to her but she really doesn't seem to want to think about it, let alone do anything practical. It's been about 6 weeks and she's not getting any better.
Bloatstoat · 01/11/2018 13:48
I work in stroke services, our area has a really good local charity which supports both people who've had a stroke and their families, might be worth seeing if there's anything local? Also carers liaison in our trust is a really good source of what support and help is available. Staff in your local stroke unit should be able to signpost to anything available. Wishing her all the best, it's a huge shock and adjustment for both the individual and their families and her reaction isn't unusual, just really hard for her.
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