To be annoyed with colleague for sharing another colleague’s pregnancy?

[AliceRR]

Learned this morning a colleague who works on my floor is pregnant. She told me herself but said she hasn’t had 12 scan yet, it is on Friday, so she’s not telling everyone yet.

I was out for lunch with four colleagues for lunch, one of whom works v closesly witb the one who is pregnant (pregnant colleague was not at lunch with us), and in the context of talking about work and plans for their team she said “she’s not telling people til Friday but X is pregnant so going on mat leave (May? Can’t rememebr what month she said).

I said you probably shouldn’t be telling people she is pregnant. She said “she said she’s telling people on Friday”.

I didn’t say any more but thought yes she plans to tell people on Friday but the reason she isn’t yet is probably because she wants to make sure baby is ok etc.

I say this as someone who is also pregnant (25 weeks now) but I just thought it was really indiscreet.

Same friend at dinner a couple of months ago was talking about assisting colleague with a house purchase (we work in a firm of solicitors) and mentioned value of house which I also thought indiscreet.

I am quite annoyed with her. I feel like she is just oblivious and has no boundaries!

This is same friend who I have mentioned (in another post) who brought someone I have never met into my hotel suite when I was getting ready for my wedding on my wedding day without asking...

Maybe I am just grumpy and needed to rant.

For someone so concerned with boundaries, you seem to have blurred ones yourself, between colleagues and friends, home and the workplace. It’s very odd to take umbrage for such a thing on behalf of a colleague. Can she not look after herself?

She won’t know presumably

That happened to me.

I told my line manager very early on, as I needed 'reasonable adjustments' made. She managed to keep it confidential.

The colleague with whom I worked very closely had suspicions, and guessed I was pregnant but not telling anyone. She managed to keep it to herself.

When I was 12w I was walking up the stairs with a different colleague, and I told her that I was pregnant and I was going to announce it today. As soon as we walked into the department she yelled out "Hey, everyone, guess what - Jelly's pregnant!"

YANBU.

As someone who found out that my baby had died at the 12 week scan I can understand why she is waiting to tell people. The blabber mouth should have kept the news to herself. Tell pregnant woman so she can ask the gossiper not to tell anybody else!

Instead of ranting on here the next time she breaches client confidentiality, whether they are a colleague or not, report her to your bosses. Being threatened about her job will teach her to keep her mouth shut.

By not saying something because she appears a nice person means you are colluding with her.

@JellySlice The cheek!!

@BlueBug45 I haven’t not said anything because she’s nice it’s more because I wasn’t sure it was my place and I feel like I’m actually often “telling her off” for things. Sound like I am contradicting myself, sorry. But after posting earlier I have spoken to her about it. She didn’t comment on the house purchase price but re colleague pregnancy she said colleague had said she could tell people. I said sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick but she definitely said to me and other colleague who was with me to keep it quiet for now as she hasn’t had her scan yet...

AliceRR and purpleweasel

Thank you both and sorry for your losses purpleweasel and CantWaitToRetire (top username BTW and neither can I!).

There was a silver lining I suppose, in that everyone was terribly nice to me!

@AliceRR best to ensure everyone knows in the office she has a big mouth starting with the person whose pregnancy she decided to announce. The way you then tell other people is up to you.

Sorry for your loss @purpleweasel

I haven’t mentioned it to the person she was talking about

I don’t quite believe that she said it’s ok for her to tel people as she (the indiscreet one) first said “but she said she’s going to tell people on Friday” which made me think she’d missed the point