To not be worried about my baby's weight?

[PaddingtonBjorn]

DS is coming up for 15 months old and is slipping down the percentiles on the growth chart. It's been going on for a long time, since about 4 months old. Height-wise he's stayed on his curve just fine. He just had a checkup on the situation and it turns out he's only gained about 200g since his first birthday :/

Which is a little bit alarming, and I was actually surprised because he seems like he's been eating loads recently and I was hopeful that we would have turned a corner on this issue. DP is incredibly worried and coming up with all kinds of strategies to get him to eat more and is pissed off at me because I am taking the line that everything is probably fine. He essentially thinks it's really serious and I'm not taking it seriously.

The reason I feel this way is that DS is alert, generally cheerful, sleeps well, shows no signs of malnourishment and is developing typically in terms of milestones. He's also not emaciated in appearance, definitely not a chunky baby but he's got plenty of baby fat. I just think if he was ill or starving hungry all the time we would know it. He breastfeeds 2-3 times a day, gets frequent meals and we always try to make sure that what he gets is high in calories, high fat, plenty of protein etc.

To be clear, I am definitely in favour of us doing everything the HCPs recommend in terms of monitoring and tests if advised to see if there's an underlying issue. But I think he's probably just destined to be a skinny child, just as I was when I was a child (still skinny but healthy as an adult). And also I just don't know what else we can actually do! We're not withholding food, he gets ample opportunity to eat all sorts, we can't force feed him. If we give him more snacks he just eats less at mealtimes.

Every time he gets weighed I feel like we're being judged as parents and found wanting, but in my heart I still believe we have a healthy little boy, even though obviously I don't think it's GOOD that he's not gaining weight fast enough. It's stressing me out that DP is going into panic mode and thinks I should too. WIBU here? Maybe neither of us.

I never took DS to be weighed. Didn't actually know you were supposed to, no one ever told me too.
A healthy child will not starve themselves if they have access to food and you've not said anything that gives reason to believe your child isn't healthy.
On occasion my ds has looked really skinny (especially after he got really fast at crawling), he still ate plenty and then plumped out again.
This obsession with weight and food for babies and toddlers is not healthy! Offer healthy meals and snacks several times a day and if they show signs of actually being ill then see a doctor - otherwise job done.

I don't live in the UK and they weigh babies here at the regularly scheduled checkups. You have to go to the checkups because that's when they get vaccinated etc. Then we've had extra checkups scheduled because of the weight situation and I can't say no because DP thinks it's such a major issue.

I agree the obsession with weight and growth charts is silly and I think it's creating a problem out of basically nothing. If we hadn't weighed him we wouldn't have any inkling there was anything we even SHOULD be worried about.

if you hadnt had got him weighed you wouldnt be worried now. hes fine. all babies are different and there needs to be some at the bottom of the centiles otherwise it wouldnt get an average. you said yourself hes happy and is alert, generally cheerful, sleeps well, shows no signs of malnourishment and is developing typically in terms of milestones.

lots of children these days are overweight which pushes the average centile up, be proud your baby isnt one of those

As far as I understand it a drop in two or more centiles requires monitoring or possibly investigation depending on the circumstances. Of course many toddlers are just finding their weight but some of these children will be failing to thrive and they need to be identified and helped.

To be clear, the cause of all the angst is not that he is on a low centile, although he is fairly low by now, it's that he is dropping centiles. So yes, I think it's important that we keep an eye on it and maybe see if we can find out what's going on. I just think the overwhelming likelihood is that he's fine whereas DP thinks our baby is in serious trouble.

I realise I'm contradicting myself a bit here, I'm feeling a bit muddled about the whole thing.

I have this with my ds who's just turned 1. At his 9 month review his height and weight (plus his head circumference) had dropped from 75th to just below the 50th percentile. The health visitor made such a song and dance about his weight having dropped that her advice was to get him weighed every week and to increase the amount of sugar in his diet as "he obviously needs the calories". She also suggested giving him a 7oz bottle of full fat cream (instead of milk) at least once a day! I absolutely was not going to increase sugar in his diet or give him bottles of cream, and I didn't feel the need to weigh him every week. Like your son he was happy, alert, on target for his milestones etc etc. He was also very active and wouldn't sit still from the moment he woke to the moment he went to bed. I've kept an eye on him and made sure he eats enough each day but I'm not concerned at this point.

I had a health visitor looking at me with furrowed brows about DD1's weight which was within the range expected for her height and roughly in line with her trajectory but it was on the low side. Still is and she's 17 now.

I told the HV that I saw what went in/came out of her and I was not worried. Her energy levels, milestones, etc. were all normal.

I do wonder if some HV's fully understand that have an average you're going to have people above and below.

Hi Op, I was just wondering what his height is doing. Has this slowed down too?
My last two babies were just above 25th centipede and 50th at birth but are now on the 99.6, for height and growth. I’m assuming if they can go up, then they can go down. Your son has probably lost some weight as he’s on the move I’m guessing a lot more. If he was losing weight and grumpy, tired, low energy, then I’d worry. But your son seems to be ok on that front. My almost 3 year old was a rubbish eater for yonks but would fill up cows milk. I’d also give him multi vitamins to keep his levels up. He eats well now finally but he’s really tall and in age 5-6 yr old clothing. My point is genetics play a huge part. The chart is a guide only. If he poops and wee is ok too, then I’m guessing he’s ok.
Try not to stress (or your husband) because shoving food in constantly in a desperate attempt to chubby him up might have the opposite effect and put your son off eating.
My 7 month old is huge, but lots of babies her age are tiny in comparison. We are all different shapes and sizes, so why can’t our babies be.
If your gp is worried then he’ll ask for a food diary or blood test maybe.

My son is the same age, also still breastfed a few times a day. We’ve never taken him to be weighed, he’s healthy. We do every now and again step on the digital home scales with him. My husband did the other night, he’s pretty much the same weight as he was at 12 months. I’m not remotely worried, he eats plenty. My husband and I are quite slender so we aren’t going to have huge children. Just like you we offer plenty of food and he eats until he is full. Unless he starts to look malnurished or isn’t hitting milestones, I wouldn’t be worried in the slightest.

My son was born on the 50th centile he shot up to 98th after a few months (exclusively breastfed too), once he started to be mobile he started to drop back down. When the health visitor did his 12 month check he was back at 50th (in his red book it appears he’s followed the line as we just weighed him ourselves so they don’t know he shot up), if we plotted his weight now I’m certain he’ll have dropped down at least one centile from the 50th, if not more.

I had twins who had extremely low birth weights and so when they came out of NICU and joined us at home we had a constant stream of Health Visitors, Continual Care Nurses, Nutritionists etc visiting weekly to check their weights and obsessing over EVERY gram... it drove me and DH close to madness as they were gaining weight albeit very slowly (still the case now and they’re 12 months old but DD is still in 3-6 month sized clothes and DS has JUST gotten into 6-12 month sized clothes).

Like you said they are developing well, happy and alert and energetic so my DH and I learned not to obsess like some of the professionals did (thankfully we have a reasonable paediatrician who oversees all their care and development and she agrees so long as they’re growing and happy within themselves it’s not an issue).

Now we’ve had that since the beginning and it took a while to let it sink in that it’s not as worrisome as others make it sound (in our situation at least).

I can understand your DP freaking out if this is the first time your DS has plateaued/lost weight and like most will want to try EVERYTHING in a panic but it’ll cause more stress in the long run (I especially disliked when my DH went through this phase as it made me feel as though he and others were saying I wasn’t doing enough to feed my children properly O__O that’s not what was intended but it still hurt!).

Another thing to remember is that of course, as babies grow and develop they burn a lot more calories and the more active your little man is the more calories he’ll burn through - so if he’s running about now it’s natural to assume that his calories will be spent that way rather than piling on the weight :)

It’s not easy and of course get any tests recommended by your Healthcare Professional as and when needed, I hope DP comes out of panic mode soon x

Hi Op, I was just wondering what his height is doing. Has this slowed down too?

No, his height and head circumferences have dropped a little but mostly stayed on the curve as expected.

Your son has probably lost some weight as he’s on the move I’m guessing a lot more

Honestly this was my first instinct too. He started walking in earnest around 13 months and he's been very much on the move these past few months, especially practicing his climbing skills. I don't know if walking takes more energy than crawling but I thought this could account for it. He hasn't lost weight, he just hasn't put on much at all.

My point is genetics play a huge part.

Yes, this is what I keep pointing out to my DP! He's just like me. Practically all my life I've been about average for height but very slight in terms of body shape and weight, and this has nothing to do with my diet. DS was about average weight at birth and I suspect he's just still working his way down to his skinny destiny.

Honestly the silliest thing about this is that we went through almost the exact same thing with DD. Admittedly, she had levelled out by around her first birthday while he's still dropping but she's 3 now, small for her age but fine. Yet DP apparently is not reassured by this and is reacting in the exact same way as though the sky is falling.

Have you seen a doctor, specifically a paed?

DS did something like this, it's apparently a thing with bf babies where some put on weight really quickly at the beginning then slow down (and so slip down the centiles) whereas ff babies gain weight more consistently.

He was born on the 50th centile went up to the 75th percentile then slipped all the way down to the 25th where he has stayed ever since (he's 2.5 how, a good eater and completely healthy). In our case the HV said to keep an eye on it but then when he settled on the 25th percentile she said everything was fine...she thought like I did that he was just a naturally slim child who used up a lot of energy ( sitting up at 5.5 months, crawling at 7). Plus she could see that I'm small and that DS is half Filipino.

He's been to a specialist in paediatric endocrinology and metabolic diseases but she didn't actually run any tests. She just weighed him and said eh keep an eye on it.

What's his diet like? Any restrictions? On full fat milk? Eats meals and snacks ok?

I guess you've seen a snap shot, I'd regularly have him weighed and take advice from professionals but like you say probably nothing more than active and growing

I never got DS weighed as I didn't want to deal with the centile stuff. As long as he was eating well and in roughly the right aged clothes I saw no reason for appointments.

(He had health problems at birth and attended all of those appointments and has had all vaccinations).

Humm, well, what did these experts say? I mean beyond keeping an eye on his weight over time? Did they say that the weight loss was a serious symptom and generally back up your husbands attitude, or shrug and be more like yours?

I’d follow the experts opinions, after having some very nonsensical ‘advice’ from health visitors and such like, I wouldn’t put much store in them unless one in particular seemed great. I’d also take your baby back to one of these consultants in a few months for an updated opinion tracked over time....

I think you’re doing everything that you can, and hopefully nothing is serikudly wrong.