To continue this romance?

[DesperatelySeekingHarriet]

I am in love with a colleague, who is with someone else, but our relationship has turned from friendship, to flirting, to not being able to keep our hands off each other when we are alone together in the office.

He is in a long term relationship (living with her, been together roughly 2/3 years) yet whenever I try to break off our “fling” he manages to persuade me otherwise.

I have never asked him to leave her - He has never suggested he would, anyway.

I am single, have been for a few years. I have just seen it as fun but now I have developed feelings for him and genuinely believe he is with the wrong person.

To make matters worse, she is not a friend of mine but I do know of her through mutual friends.

I am not proud of my situation but I honestly do not know where to go from here.

Helpful advice would be appreciated, not derogatory comments, I feel awful enough.

Unfortunately this type of relationship can never work out. There is a reason he doesn't want to leave his girlfriend, but also if he does would there be any trust between you two? I only say this because you would know what he is capable of.

I know you feel bad but you need to break it off.

I think you know that you need to put a stop to this. As you say, he hasn’t even lead you on by saying he’ll leave her - you are a fun distraction from his relationship, but it doesn’t sound like he’s serious about you.

Putting everything else aside, he has behaved like this whilst in a serious relationship. What’s to say he wouldn’t treat you the same way if the two of you got into a relationship?

You need to find the strength to end it. Is there any way that you can ask for a transfer, or a way for you to avoid being alone in the office with him?

You don't want derogatory remarks, but what remark would you make if you were in her shoes?

If he loved you he would leave her. He's just using you for easy sex. Stop being such a mug.

In this instant I'd tell him by text and that you will be blocking his number and in the office you will only talk about work stuff.

Be strong op. You don't want.to be the other woman for the rest of your life

Again? Really?

If you want a long, conventional, monogomous relationship, with or without DC, for your future you’re dating the wrong man.

Even if he did leave his partner you’d always know he’s willing and able to maintain two relationships and lie to his partner for months on end.

@GhouldaLovesLillies ?

To the replies with helpful advice, thank you. @PJBanana a transfer is not possible, if only it was I would have done it long ago. @Loopytiles you have hit the nail on the head, I have a future to think about.

Thank you.

He's trying to have his cake (his girlfriend) and eat it (you).

You know fine well there is no future in this relationship, you need to cut it off, get over it and look for someone available when you're ready to start a new relationship. Hard to do, I know, but the earlier you do it the quicker you can get over it.

Also, you say you are not able to keep your hands off each other when alone in the office. Is this only during breaks or when you're supposed to be actually working? It is unprofessional and, if a lot, not honouring to your employer.

Deceitful cheater who wants to have his cake and eat it...

Run for the hills.

It's not a romance, you are the OW.

I'm assuming you never see each other outside the office? While you say you're in love, he is using you for sex.