To ask how to become a good judge of character

[BirthdayTowel]

6 months ago I started a new job. One team member seemed lovely and we got on fine. The other seemed silky and rude. 6 months on the ‘lovely’ one has been arrested for quite a serious attack on his gf. Turns out not his first arrest. The ‘sulky’ one Is just very shy and is lovely.

Why is my sixth sense about people so off and how do I improve it?

Sulky not silky

It’s likely that he deliberately didn’t reveal his nasty side at work.

Suggest just continuing to have professional boundaries with colleagues.

As a teen I had a part time retail job and a 17 year old colleague was assaulted (beaten up) by her new boyfriend of a few months, her colleagues had all met him as he’d often come into work to chat to her. He worked for a train company.

Many years later I occasionally worked from a branch of my company in a different city for meetings, and saw him there, he was now working for my company. Didn’t recognise him at first but overheard him say to a colleague that he used to work for the train company and it clicked. After that seeing him made my skin crawl.

I felt somehow complicit by not telling anyone at work about it.

I'd like to know too; it's not a skill I have.

Any suggestions?