To ask you for your positive, overcoming the odds stories

[Mangoo]

4th miscarriage confirmed today in just over a year.

To be honest I feel like just throwing in the towel and giving up but I know I can't.

So... Please give me some stories of hope. Times you thought it would never work out but it did, times you felt you couldn't carry on but surprised yourself etc...

Not necessarily about pregnancy just anything... I need some positivity this morning Mumsnet!

Hi Mangoo! I am so sorry for your loss, hopefully you are taking time to look after and care for yourself?
Hopefully this will help? I took over 6 years to become pregnant, I had weird periods etc and so i had an op to remove fibroids before using clomid which didn't work. I then started IVF but only produced 2 eggs on each cycle which I did three times. Nothing worked and I was told I had less than 5% chance of getting pregnant and donor eggs were my only option.
I suspected I still had womb problems so I had an op to look for scarring where they perforated my uterus! i then had a successful private op which removed loads of scarring which diagnosed me with Ashermans Syndrome.
I gave up on my own eggs and started looking for egg donors, I was just about to start the cycle when I became pregnant naturally! I had cut down on sugar and used a few supplements which i think really helped. However, i lost him at 20 weeks due to the uterus damage which was devastating and I didn't think the universe could be so cruel.
I then got pregnant again and had a preventative cervical stitch put in privately, I gave birth to my DD at 38 weeks. I am pregnant again at 42 with a baby boy and due to give birth in 2 weeks!
I went through some real lows, but I tried to keep positive and I did my research. Each time they told me I had another problem I did research on google for answers. Sometimes the only person that can help you is yourself, I certainly would not have got anywhere with the NHS! Have they told you why you miscarry? I really think that if I can have a positive outcome than so can anyone, you can always pm if you need too. Best of luck and I hope you get lots of rest and care today xxxx

Harveyrabbit76 wow! That is a story, I'm so sorry for everything you had to endure but massive congratulations!

Thanks so much for sharing. It helps so much hearing from others when I just feel like walking away.

And sorry in answer to your question, I've not been to the recurrent miscarriage clinic yet but suspect I have a balanced translocation as my mother did.

I had severe HG with my second pregnancy, I was carrying twins but lost one of my sons, in a cruel twist, because I was still carrying his brother who was alive, my body carried on thinking I had two babies so I was sick X 2. I was given a drug reserved for cancer patients Becasue I just couldn’t keep anything down - I lost hours, months of my life as I was constantly asleep, I lost in on watching my elder daughter toddle (she was 2) I was bedridden for months and put on high alert - Becasue everyone thought that I would lose the surviving baby. I didn’t. My son just turned 2. Hang in there OP. Good luck.

Hang on in there and keep going!

I have never heard of balanced translocation but I found this link which might help when you feel ready to look?

groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/balanced-translocations/info

Keep going. I'm on my 3rd pregnancy (no children) 2 losses at 7 and 14 weeks. Im currently 12 weeks lost my Dad and 2 babies this year my world has been ripped apart. Mum has also had a cancer health scare but is ok (mum and dad 55) my car also got wrote off whilst parked outside my work. This pregnancy has been terrifying so far. I feel so blessed but had 3 gigantic bleeds with clots and somehow my miracle is still in there. Haven't had as many losses as you but I've certainly had a shit year. Lots of love xx

Oh OP please don’t give up. I had several miscarriages including one in the second trimester which almost broke me. Then while I was having the standard investigations carried out they discovered I had such bad hormone levels that I wouldn’t even qualify for IVF as it would be so unlikely to work! I hadn’t actually needed IVF up to that point as it was staying pregnant that was the issue but that put a whole new level of gloom and panic on the situation. I remember feeling stuck in this fog of utter despair. It was just the bleakest time.

Anyway exactly one year later my gorgeous DD was born. I’m so sorry for your losses and I so totally relate, but please don’t give up.

It’s very cheesy but my DD loves George Michael and whenever I hear “Knew You Were Waiting” I kind of mentally dedicate it to her, because I listened to that a lot at the time and I really do feel she was, somehow, out there waiting for us.

Sending you positive thoughts to keep going. Also happy to PM if you want to chat.

So sorry about your losses 

I had been trying to conceive nearly 10 years without a sniff of a natural conception, I have stage 4 endo, premature ovarian failure and 1 tube. I had 2 own egg IVF cycles and 3 donor egg IVF cycles over the years and finally had a baby this year from cycle number 5 (donor eggs) it's been a long long journey and one I nearly gave up on many times, then by some bizarre miracle I have just found out I'm pregnant naturally. Don't give up

Thanks so much all of you your stories are all so wonderful.

xJune88 so sorry to hear about your year. I hope everything goes perfectly with your pregnancy this time round.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who knows what this feels like! It means a lot hearing from you.

Mine’s not pregnancy related but DP related. It took me 12 years to find him and I’d genuinely given up all hope. I had been on countless dates, joined so many new clubs, been set up by numerous friends, met people at work etc and had plenty of short term things but none that stuck. Nobody could believe my bad luck (I’m relatively attractive, was young with no “baggage” or issues) and kept getting dumped in the worst ways! (One on Christmas Day, one by finding out they’d cheated with a friend of mine, one by realising I was in an abusive relationship, one on a holiday etc etc).

I ended up realising it would never happen for me for some unknown reason and adjusted my plans accordingly - bought my own flat (had been hoping to meet a DP and buy a house with them), researched ways of parenthood as a single person, had settled on adoption and was looking to move job to accommodate that plan. And then bam! DP walked into my life (he’d actually been there for a while but for some reason I just hadn’t considered him at all!)

Best of luck OP, really hope you get your happy ever after.

Mine isn't pregnancy related but I had a crap upbringing alcoholic mother who had various partners and would leave us for days or weeks without care we often survived on dry pasta as we where to young to cook it . She once shaved off my hair beacuae i had nits and she would rather spend money on larger then nit treatment. She eventually dropped me at school and never picked me up , I went into care and bounced around till I settled at my foster families house who took in me and my two sisters and kept us for 11 years till I moved out at 18 had my first ds with my partner and now have a DD at 4.5 months some lives can turn around

I was born after a series of miscarriages because my mother couldn't carry boys.
40 years later I am posting on mumsnet to a woman thinking of giving up.

Hi op, you're not alone! I'm am currently in the middle of a mmc  my third loss! Once passed they will carry out genetic testing on the baby and I will be referred. I really hope it's something as simple as needing supplements or the like, I try not to think of the worst outcomes as I terrify myself and make myself so sad.

I hope we both get our rainbow babies soon x

My mum took 8 years to have me. Multiple losses and was looking to adoption whe she fell pregnant with me. When she miscarried me (as she was convinced she would do so) my parents were not going to try to ttc again and were going to adopt. My mum told me she didn’t actually believe she was having a baby until she was 8 months pregnant!

I was born after a series of miscarriages because my mother couldn't carry boys.
40 years later I am posting on mumsnet to a woman thinking of giving up

I love this! Thank you. I should know better as my mother had multiple miscarriages herself and never gave up.

Dottysmum18 I can't imagine what you've gone through. The way your life has turned around is inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing that.

ifancyachinese wishing you all the luck in the world too. I'm waiting for my letter with my appointment I'm terrified too even though I'm 99% I already know the reason!

Thank you @Mangoo sorry f I missed it up thread by what do you think your reasons are for mc?

I honestly have no idea for me other than perhaps low progesterone or possible clotting issues but there's no real evidence to those thoughts. I can't picture me my ever having my own children though so I really hope that's something x

ifancyachinese

Mine is due to a balanced translocation I believe. My mother had the same and it is hereditary so it's the most probable cause. She had around 8 miscarriages I think. The advice to her was basically just keep trying till it works as there is no treatment.

I’m pregnant. It’s taken surgery to fix my shitty deformed uterus and two goes at ivf and a bunch of other fertility related drugs and internal meddling and fucking years of my life but I’m bloody pregnant.

I am infertile due to endometriosis. We decided to adopt and after two years our agency went bankrupt due to fraud. The first time this had ever happened in Canada. 400 families left heartbroken and financially broke. Due to a group of hardworking parents a new agency took on our adoptions. Nearly 8 years after trying to become a mom a judge in a court room said "he's yours", and I became the mother to the most beautiful little boy in the world. I love him so much it hurts. He's everything.
3 years later I became pregnant. A miracle pregnancy. Seeing their little heart beat was amazing. Just before the 1st trimester was over the heartbeat stopped. It was awful. Awful. But it was ok because even that heartbreak couldn't take from me my incredible son. Or my amazing husband. Or good friends. That sadness could not steal all the joy I already had. And even though I will never understand the reason behind the pregnancy and loss, it taught me a lot about my capabilities. Ds has special needs and I had to keep going and at that time things were so hard with him, and I was physically and emotionally exhausted but I did it. I wouldn't say I look fondly on any of it, but I am very proud of the person I became through it all.
Wishing you all the best and I am terribly sorry for all your losses. Take good care of yourself and be patient with yourself. You've been through something horrific.

I'm so sorry OP, that sounds awful. My lovely mum and dad had 3 miscarriages in a year when they first started trying for a baby. It almost ripped them apart. The doctors weren't very helpful, they didn't get any answers. They gave up. Then, a year later my mum missed her period and realised she was pregnant with my brother. And after that came me! There is hope OP, you might just have to be patient. Wishing you all the love and luck in the world 

@Jlynhope I'm crying at your story. I'm so sorry for your losses, but I'm so happy for your lovely son that you adopted. Sending you so much love 

Jlynhope that's an incredible story, thank you. So sorry for your loss but your love for your son is beautiful

Thank you both. @Mangoo @Willow789 I am a very lucky person. xx