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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassed to go to the dentist about my bad teeth

23 replies

Titsandtats · 29/10/2018 18:12

Hoping somebody else has felt the same and can tell me to get a grip Sad
I know it’s my own fault I’m in this situation. My teeth have never been great but they were always mainly alright. When I was younger I damaged 4 teeth in an accident and they’ve always been weak ever since. Around 2 month ago a large chunk came out of two of them at the same time, one had no pain but the other had exposed a nerve and the pain was like nothing I’ve ever felt. Went to my usual dentist to get it sorted thinking it would be fillings. Was told the teeth couldn’t be saved so would need two crowns. He scraped the insides out and left behind a sort of shell of each of the teeth. Also drilled out the nerves to stop the pain. He noticed another tooth out of the 4 had a small chip in it. Asked for a filling there and then but he said to get it done when I went back for the crowns. He did say all my other teeth were alright and nothing needed doing there, just these 3 out of the 4 problem teeth
The pain stopped instantly and he gave me a plan of action of how he would solve the problems and how much it would cost. They refused to give me a payment plan as they don’t do them apparently and said I had to pay up there and then which I couldn’t afford to do so I left it. Around a week later the shell of both the teeth came off so I am now left with two gaps where my teeth were, and big holes where he took out the nerves. Now I know crowns won’t work and either bridges or dentures will be needed, which I still can’t afford
I’m so embarrassed about the state I’ve let them get in and I’m so ashamed of myself for allowing it to happen. I keep wanting to go to a new dentist but I’m so anxious about what they’re going to say and I just feel like they’re going to humiliate me and tell me off Blush
I know they won’t be the worst they’ve ever seen and I just need to get over it and go before it gets any worse but I just can’t bring myself to

OP posts:
HerculesTheBerkules · 29/10/2018 18:14

Can you get any recommendations from friends/family?

Also they will probably have seen worse before.

Snappedandfarted2018 · 29/10/2018 18:15

Surely you were told the cost of the treatment prior to him drilling holes in you’re teeth when you had you’re initial check up? Prices especially the NHS ones are well displayed in three categories which lists the type of treatment. It is pretty standard that if you pay for you’re treatment you pay then and there for it.

Haircutdilemma · 29/10/2018 18:16

I felt very much like you and put off going to the dentist for years due to embarrassment. My dentist was lovely and said the main thing was that I was working on them now.
That first step is difficult but you won't regret making it. I am sure the dentist will be understanding, they see all kinds!

Original poster
Titsandtats · 29/10/2018 18:17

@Snappedandfarted2018 that part of it was an emergency appointment so I paid that on the day think it was around £20 or so. What I couldn’t afford is the cost of all the corrective work after.

OP posts:
AliceLutherNeeMorgan · 29/10/2018 18:20

They won’t humiliate you - they just don’t do that .

Do you actually have money now to pay for what you need? You’re a customer and you need treatment so just book yourself in, explain you are embarrassed and concerned about the cost (and nervous? Most people are) Ask them to fully explain what is needed, and what the priorities are, and take it from there.

I am a converted dentist-phobe and I could kick myself for the years that I didn’t go. I still don’t exactly enjoy it but it is no way as bad as I thought it would be. You will be fine OP

Jezzifishie · 29/10/2018 18:20

I think the key here will be getting the right dentist. I have a bad dental history, and my current dentist is very kind and understanding when I'm freaking out over a simple check up. (I hadn't gone for over 10 years, forced myself to go to set a good example to my DD!) Ask around for recommendations, maybe ring up and have a chat before committing to anything?

Heatherjayne1972 · 29/10/2018 18:21

Every person who’s ever said to me ‘are these the worst teeth you’ve ever seen?’ Has been wrong

They my not be great teeth but if you put it off nothing will get better
Book in and get it sorted

autumnleaves1234 · 29/10/2018 18:24

I have just been to the dentist after ten years! I only went because at tooth started to crumble and cause discomfort. I paid the £20 something for the emergency treatment and then the dentist added up the treatment I needed. It was all costed as one lot and was only around £58. I had this done over some weeks including quite a few fillings and an extraction. If you saw the dentist as an NHS patient it is exactly the same across England

callmeadoctor · 29/10/2018 18:25

The dentist probably put temporary crowns on (plastic) so it may not be necessary to have bridges etc. (You may be panicking unnecessarily.) However, obviously you need your teeth looking at. Ask your friends (or go on Facebook) for a recommendation for a good dentist. Alternatively maybe see a different dentist at the same surgery? Is it NHS? Maybe ring up and find out the exact costs? See if you could pay as you go along (so not a treatment plan as such)

recklessruby · 29/10/2018 18:29

Go to a new dentist OP. Phone around and find an nhs one that does payment plans.
I neglected my teeth until I got 2 incredibly painful abscesses by which time I didn't care what anyone said it was worse than childbirth!
My dentist was great and fixed the problems over a few weeks. He knew I was nervous and was very kind.
I have lost 4 teeth and have a gap so now I m going to see about getting a bridge and feel like smiling for the first time in years!
Trust me they have seen worse than you or me.
Google worst teeth if you don't believe Me!

MissKittyFantastico84 · 29/10/2018 18:34

Check the Dental Fear Central for more tailored advice and support - I found my excellent dental fear specialist dentist in North London on there.

If you leave it, it will only get worse. Confront it and get it sorted.

Hope you feel better soon.

leafgrass · 29/10/2018 18:42

You just have to practice shrugging your shoulders when challenged.

I didn't go to the dentist for decades because I moved and there were a shortage NHS places at the time. When I visited recently the dentist baulked at how long I'd not gone for. I didn't need any treatment and the dentist just attempted to give a speech of why checks were important. I just shrugged said I know but just didn't get round to it. That was it. Appointments only go on for so long then you're out of there.

Allthewaves · 29/10/2018 18:46

Try a university dental clinic at hospital - sometimes treatment is free as they teaching the students

TheFantasticFixit · 29/10/2018 20:23

Op, I totally empathise.

I’m terrified of the dentist. When I was 14, I had a panic attack in the chair and i’ve Been terrified ever since. I now have a gum infection, that I suspect is fairly severe and i’m pregnant so god knows if they can even do anything about it. My husband had to phone the dentist to book me in because the mere thought of not only going, but admitting i’ve let this happen reduces me to tearful panic every time. I’m dreading it but I’m so much pain I need to go.

Happy to hand hold as you go through it. I admire you so much, you’ve made the first steps yourself and that’s courageous.

Haircutdilemma · 29/10/2018 20:30

Just a thought, maybe try some rescue remedy before you go, worked wonders for me on my driving test so could help?

Glumglowworm · 29/10/2018 20:40

I can’t believe your teeth will be the worst any dentist has seen. It’s not like they’ve turned black and fallen out! You had an accident which weakened them and had emergency treatment which has resulted in the current state of them. It’s really not your fault so do try not to blame yourself or be mortified (easier said than done I know!)

My mum has terrible teeth and is a total wimp about any pain (she winces before they even touch her), it’s important to her to find a good dentist who is sympathetic, and id suggest you try to do the same. Word of mouth is a good way, especially if you know people with problematic teeth!

Redken24 · 29/10/2018 20:43

You could ask for the dental students to do the corrective work. I have had this done before only fillings and a scrape n Polish and it was free. They may offer the same for you or even a vastly reduced price. I was confident as a trained dentist there and the student was like ticking every box.

WonderTweek · 29/10/2018 20:53

I didn’t go for 12 years because I was really traumatised by a dentist as a kid (they ripped out 9 milk teeth out in one go as they weren’t falling out naturally 😬), and by the time I needed to go I was in so much pain and just knew that I had lots of cavities. I emailed my local surgery and said that I was scared and they booked me in for a check up. I actually got some diazepam from my GP because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to physically go (he said it was not a problem at all - I only got two tablets but that was enough). I needed a ridiculous amount of fillings and had all the work done under sedation and it was fine. I promised myself that I would not let my teeth get that bad ever again and have had annual check ups for almost ten years now and I don’t even get nervous anymore. 😃If I can do it, you can do it! And they will not tell you off. I asked my dentist if my teeth were the worst he’d seen and he said no, but he did mention that I shouldn’t really have that many cavities as I was so young. But he said it in a nice way. 😅

I reckon go find a new dentist and start fresh! Good luck!

Original poster
Titsandtats · 29/10/2018 21:17

Thanks everyone. Looked on my local Facebook discussion page for recommendations other people have made about good dentists when they were nervous. Have emailed the one most people have recommended to ask for an appointment. Just have to push myself to actually go now Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
Titsandtats · 29/10/2018 21:19

@TheFantasticFixit I think that’s the hardest part isn’t it, actually admitting to letting it happen and not fixing it sooner Blush

OP posts:
TheFantasticFixit · 29/10/2018 21:22

Yes, definitely @titsandtats. It’s shame mixed with guilt and fear, a horrid combination. Well done for emailing the dentist! Make sure you tell them you are very worried and I hope they are kind. X

Original poster
Titsandtats · 30/10/2018 12:07

They’ve responded to my email this morning saying they aren’t taking on any new patients, and neither are 2 of the other local ones as one has just shut down and they’ve taken on all their patients. The other local one is only private and there’s no way I can afford that. Will have to try and find another nice one further away

OP posts:
WonderTweek · 30/10/2018 12:48

Ahh that’s a shame. But I’m sure you’ll find a nice one soon. Keep emailing! Most dental practices are used to dealing with nervous patients so I’m sure most clinics will be gentle with you if you give them a heads up. 😃

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