Bus behaviour

[BrightlightsSmallvillage]

3 boys on a schoolbus, two elder ones(7 YO) in front messing about and pulling DS(6) bag off the seat repeatedly. DS, not upset or angry, pours water from his water bottle on one boys head. Boy gets off, complains to parent who complains to school. (Obviously I wasn't on the bus or directly heard the complaints)

DS is spoken to by headteacher next day and made to sit seperately on the bus on the way home. He got off very upset but regardless I've spoken to him about appropriate behaviour. He has been given consequences and he is sorry.

I feel that he shouldn't have been made to sit apart but not a massive deal and its done. But I feel the school should also talk to the other boys as well. They've just had the message they can provoke, then complain and someone else gets in trouble. My son is no angel but he is more of a follower than one to initiate trouble. Or should I just let it go?

If the boys are 6 and 7 years old (is that a typo and do you mean year 6/year 7?) then I’d ask that they’re better supervised in future.

But regardless of age, your son’s punishment of being told off and having to sit separately sounds appropriate. However, I agree that if your DS’s version of events is completely accurate (and that’s a big IF), that the other boys should also have been spoken to about appropriate bus behaviour.

Not a typo, they are 6 & 7. There is only the bus driver as supervision but the kids all sit way back. Only got my kids word for it & I do take the point, but the school was taking the word of another kid when they punished mine.

Do you know for certain the other boys weren't spoken to? Our school wouldn't tell you that they were/weren't, they'd only tell you the bit that relates to your own child.

Pouring water over somebodies head is a bit more than pullong a bag off of a seat though. Also would have made the bus seat wet which then may have prevented anyone else sitting there if it was used after

I do agree about the water 100percent. I am definitely not defending what my DS did and he has been dealt with, by the school as above and at home. His response did need tackling.

I'm just trying to guage whether I am being overprotective & unreasonable to ask if the others were spoken to as well.

Should add I do not know the other boys, and my DS doesn't know them (even names) other than from the bus journey.

You could let school know you've dealt with DS at home and you agree with them that his behaviour was not acceptable then make them aware that he was retaliating to these other boys winding him up (while making it clear you've spoken to him about why he cannot retaliate in that way).

You are not being unreasonable to tell the teachers you believe that he was provoked, but that you do not condone his behavior and will support their action, but you want them to be aware of the provocation and to keep an eye on it.

And then let it go. The school will become defensive if they think you do not support them and you don't want them to accuse you of being 'that' mum, so letting them know you support their actions and agree with the punishment and that you've spoken to him about it further will help get them onside.

School should have spoken to all involved and good for ur son to stick up for him self. Yes he shouldn't have done the water but this is how bullying starts. If he was to ignore them like he would have been advised by adults they would see him as a easy target. They are older than him and should no better. They can't provoke a child then punish him for sticking up for himself. Yes the water was uncalled for but I'm glad he stood up for him self