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To ask for your help please in dealing with sister

3 replies

small2018 · 29/10/2018 13:51

Long story short, I miscarried a much wanted child back in April and my sister didn't think it was a big enough deal to contact me. I was hurting a lot at the time and wasn't myself, in fact I came close to having a nervous breakdown.

When my DM and other sister told her she should've asked after me she turned it around on herself and said that I never contacted her when her son won the league with his football club.

So she hasn't spoken to me for 6 months.

I am trying to move on from what happened to me and build myself back up again but it's hard when I see her as it brings back the way I felt at the time - so hopeless and helpless - and highlights that she didn't care enough to see how I was even though she knew I was going through a hard time. In fact she piled it on by turning it around on herself and dragging the family into it now by creating a division. It's awkward when the whole family are together.

To top it all off, she totally ignores my 4-yr-old son and husband yet she hasn't told her own husband and kids so they still talk to us when we see them at family events. So my family gets treated differently yet everything's the same with hers as me and DH love our nephews and niece (her children).

Seeing her makes me angry, frustrated, upset and takes up all my headspace - I saw her yesterday at DM's house and I'm still pissed off 24 hours later.

What do I do? Avoid going to situations where I know she's going to be there, meaning my son misses out on family occasions?

Or try and get over it - but how?

Please help.

OP posts:
gottastopeatingchocolate · 29/10/2018 13:54

You can't change her, but you can change how it affects you.
Would you consider some counselling to help you come to terms with it? Then you might feel stronger to know how you want to move forward.

MrsStrowman · 29/10/2018 13:55

I remember your previous post, she's awful. How she can compare a football win with a miscarriage I don't know. Maybe her DH and DCs act the same around you is because they don't agree with her. Personally I'd tell her that her behaviour has disgusted me and to compare the loss of a child to a football tournament is outrageous and anyone can see that. But ultimately you won't change her so do whatever makes you feel better

small2018 · 29/10/2018 15:48

Gotta - I am having counselling.

@MrsStrowman - how do I tell her? Just say it next time I see her? Her children and husband don't know, I know that.

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