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Ungrateful sister - AIBU?

3 replies

CalamityJane10 · 29/10/2018 13:35

My half sister is 12 years younger than me. We have always been close.

As a teenager I would take her out and buy her treats from my allowance. When I started work, I’d often take her and friends out or have them to stay, and give her about £1k year when she was a student. I helped her to get her 1st job and let her live with me when she moved to the city.

Times have changed and I’m a stay at home mum, money is much tighter. SS is nearly 30 and has a good job. She still visits regularly, but never pays for anything and never offers. I have mentioned before that if she’s staying and I’m cooking dinner it would be nice if she could get the wine, but it falls on deaf ears. My DH is sick of paying for her.

Its my birthday soon and I booked a weekend away for my family and invited DSS (we’re paying). She agreed to come. Once it was booked she tried to invite someone else, then change the venue and then complained about sharing a room with my child.

It was the final straw, I’ve had enough. WIBU to tell her she’s no longer invited? I love her and don’t want to create a major fall out, but I feel so taken for granted. I know I’ve been enabling her and it needs to stop. What would you do?

OP posts:
KMoKMo · 29/10/2018 13:39

I don’t think YABU and I don’t think you’ve been enabling. It’s what siblings do, especially with a big age gap. She clearly just has no manners and has come to expect it. She’s your sister. In these circumstances I wouldn’t be holding back to say exactly what I thought.
Is she considerate in other ways? Presents/cards for birthdays?

TemptressofWaikiki · 29/10/2018 14:07

Think you need to tell her calmly but very directly. She's so emeshed with being your little sister that she really needs to be made aware of it and start acting like an adult.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/10/2018 14:19

You need to have an adult conversation. She is still living as your little sister... you both need to let your relationship mature.

One last Big Sister act... call her and instigate the conversation!

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