To dread what should be a happy event !

[movin]

Heading home for Christmas this year, I'm an ex pat. Normally get so excited for this and can't wait.
Starting IVF next week, with a view to egg collection done before we leave. I'm getting desperately worried about spending the time around mine and DH's big families/friend circle. Many of who, have children we haven't met yet, so there will be lots of expectations to meet the new baby etc. Lots of family parties planned etc.
Dreading all the you better get cracking if you want kids insensitive comments or the you must have focused on your career assumptions. Could I realistically hide at my mum and dads for 4 weeks ..... or do I just need to grip ?!

Sorry to hear
People often make thoughtless comments when they don't have the full picture.
How would you feel about responding to the 'you better get cracking' comments with 'yes we're having IVF'?

I would maybe let your family know in advance what u are actually going through at the moment. Yes people can be thoughtless and yes they shouldn’t say it. But most people unless u have been through it don’t think about people not being able to have kids and don’t mean comments like that in a horrible or mean why

I would let them know as it is stressing u out. Then u can enjoy the holiday in peace and have a fab time.

No please don't say we are having IVF or TTC and I say this as someone who had has IVF twins. I told two people about my IVF a neighbour and a friend. Neighbour had one child and no problem conceiving. Friend no children and never been in a relationship with anyone, yet both became experts in fertility.

I was told to relax and not to think about it constantly by them. I was so glad I didn't tell.more people or our families. IVF is not a day trip you fancy going on. Its invasive, expensive and stressful and there is a process to go through before getting to that point.

I looked at seeing all the children and babies as 'it'll be me soon'. Picking up little tips - quietly. People don't mean to be insensitive - its just a thing to say 'When are you going to start'. I would smile and say 'When we are ready'. If you visit people with small children/babies they aare always tired and busy, Two hour max and say I will leave you to get on. Or ask when the children go to bed son we can have a 'grown up catch up'

Good luck OP. Fingers crossed OP.

I've told my mum and that's it. Guess I'm just need to put a brave face on it! At least I won't be pumped full of drugs and can just enjoy myself!

The best thing in my experience is to choose something to say, practise it til it rolls off the tongue.

“Very personal topic isn’t it, babies? There must be something more interesting to talk about! How’s your Nora/business/allotment”