For asking my ex not to leave my 6yo ds with his gfs 13yo son

[Thingshavegottobebetter]

I have 2 dc, dd (5) and ds (6). Exs gf has a ds (just turned 13).
Ds returned home saying that his dad had been to collect his gf from work. He took dd but left ds with gf's son.
Whilst he was out, there was a knock at the door and gf's son became panicked and told ds that there was a murderer trying to get in. Exs gf ds got a knife (one of the sharp ones ds says) and ds "had his fists ready". He said they got brave, went upstairs, looked out of the window and noone was there.
He said they were both scared.
I told my ex about this and asked that dc arent left home alone with gf's ds.
He responded to say that gfs ds was very responsible and I'm blowing things out if proportion. The person knocking at the door was his window cleaner which should somehow make the fact the 2 boys were wandering around his house, both scared, one with a knife, because of a knock at the door, OK.

Aibu to insist that our dc aren't left alone with Exs gf?

A responsible 13 year old should be able to look after a child for a short while. However I wonder if the 13 year old is a bit too sensitive as that is some over reaction on his part. Having a rule about not answering the door and ignoring callers is the sensible thing.

Do you think the 13 year old was pulling your child’s leg?

You can't insist as your ex makes the parenting decisions when he has the children. A 13 year old should be capable to be in charge for a short while and I think he was playing acting rather than seriously panicked. My 11 year old can make a judgement call on whether or not to open the door.

Sounds like something I would have pulled as a prank on my little brother at 13. Highly doubt he was being serious at 13.

It sounds like the 13 year old was winding your son up which is wrong and not on at all.

I would tell my ex that it is NOT to happen again.

Sounds like the 13 year old was winding the little one up and for that reason alone he shouldn’t be left in charge of either child.

Yeah, and I'd see it as a harmless prank if the lads weren't wandering around the house with a sharp knife.
Just seems a bit...... Much

Are you sure he is not embellishing it somewhat, or as part of a Halloween prank.

Are both children special needs?

Because that is the only thing that would explain this behaviour.

Mine isn't special needs, no idea about the other.

My ex said that his gf son was winding my ds up by telling him someone was trying to get in and murder them. Assume the knife was for effect.

Sounds like they've got a fairly typical brotherly relationship!

YABU You can't insist anything happens when he's with his dad, his dad's made the decision to leave him for a short while with a 13 year old.
Would you be happy for him to dictate who you can leave ds with?

Sounds as if the 13 year old was being silly. I think he should be told to grow up a bit. He should be capable of being in charge but he sounds daft (assuming that's definitely what happened).

Big brother teasing little brother

Does noone else think that this is an incredibly cruel prank to pull on a SIX year old? He had a knife fgs. Imagine the fear in the 6yo.

OP I'd tell your ex that that isn't one bit on, and if anything like that happens again, that he's not to be left with 13yo.

I’m sorry but I feel like some posters are missing the part about the knife...

Exactly, the talk of a murderer couple with the knife is the issue. It seems like more of a prank.

My ex doesn't live with his gf.

This 13 year old is clearly not mature enough to look after a young child. Make it clear to your ex that you aren’t asking you are instructing. And if anything goes wrong whilst that boy is in charge you will hold ex totally responsible.

It's not a normal prank. It's a vindictive and inappropriate one.

Make it clear to your ex that you aren’t asking you are instructing.

The ex is his father. You don't get to instruct another adult who also has parental responsibility.

This is the third thread I've read in a week about "pranks". Cruel. All you can do is ask ex that it doesn't happen again though.

I can't believe that people are saying that u have no right to comment on how your child's father parents when your not there. If that was me I would 100 percent be telling them the child is not to be left alone with this 13 year old. How scary for your child and how irresponsible! Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and anything could happen whilst they are on their own together. I completely agree with u

13 year olds are fine to babysit 6 year olds for an hour. And siblings(step or otherwise) messing with eachother is normal. While yes the kid should be punished that isn't your job.

Of course you get to instruct if you feel that your child is not being looked after responsibly. You spell out what will happen if the stupidity continues.
Some 13 year olds can babysit, this one clearly isn’t capable and therefore the six year old is not being looked after safely.