Christmas presents for sisters grandkids

[Welshdefector]

Hi
Hoping for some valued advice . For years i have bought my sisters children presents at christmas long before i had my own and continue to buy their kids now 3 sets of two children in each family. In the last two/ three years I have duly sent presents via family as they are a bit scattered geographically and not even recieved a thank you on face book or a christmas card . My sister no longer buys my girls in early 20's which is fine but sends us token box choc and wine. This year i am considering doing the same but feel mean on the kids aged 11, 9 , 8, 7, 6 and 1 . We never see them. They have declined invites to 18th and 21st birthdays . Your thoughts are valued ??

Stop buying them presents. You never see them and you're never thanked.

I would probably stop in this situation. Most kids get enough at Christmas that the loss of one present won't really impact them. It will be hard to get presents that hit the mark if you don't know the kids well anyway.

I would definitely stop now. They don’t have the manners to thank you and you never see them anyway.

The lack of a thank-you would be the issue for me. If it doesn't give you pleasure to shop for them I'd stop. Alternatively if you feel uncomfortable doing that send a family 'hamper' / box with a mix of treats.

Do what you want to do.

Very interesting, I am in a similar situation and have decided this year just to stop. I’m just feeling more resentful every year so I’m just going to send a card now. My opinion is what will they do?? Call and ask where their present is?? I don’t think so!

I have three children and my aunt, a lovely woman, always sends small gifts for Christmas and Easter. I always send a thank you text and we visit her maybe once or twice a year. However, I would not mind if she stopped doing this, and my kids get so much stuff, they wouldn't notice. So I don't see any reason why you should continue going to so much effort when they don't even acknowledge your kindness.

I'd stop sending them gifts and just send a card to each family. Save your money!

No one expects gifts from a great aunt! Honestly, they'll probably not even notice you haven't sent them.

Thank you for your replies guilt now gone you are all right ! They are getting a card ! I will send my sister something small instead 😊

If I don't get a thank you on two occasions then I stop the presents. It's basic good manners to thank someone for a gift they send. My children sent pictures when they were young and now send a note/card or email.

Manners are an important lesson to learn, they take you a long wY in life.

I'd stop sending presents.

Two 'aunties' of my Dh that the kids have barely met send gifts every year. I wish they'd stop. The kids get enough n trying to get them to write cards to people they don't even know I've given up. I told mil to tell them. Fil says they've tried to talk to mil but cos she sends gift to their grandkids n won't stop they feel like they can't stop. Its ridiculous. Who expects gifts from great Aung unless very close?

My sister had kids very young and I am only 45 so probably dont think of myself as great aunt ! My nephew is 40 !!

But I take your point re getting kids to send thank you's . Tbh all i felt was needed was a quick thank you via fb from the parent but even thats too much bother !!

It takes seconds to fb a message or send a card.
Stop this year and stick to the closest adults.
How very rude