To be annoyed at dp's sexist opinion on this dilemma

[Jackfruitburger]

It's long mind
My bf is a single mum. She's had sex with one guy in four years. Our mutual friend has split up with his gf who we are also close to. Yesterday my bf told me that our mate had been sending her some strange messages 'you look nice, I always wondered what might have been, are you out this evening?' Etc etc.
Bf now feels conflicted as to whether to tell his ex, as she's still hoping it will work out. Is it against girl code to tell her to not tell her?
When I told dp this last night he came up with some bollocks about 'the way she comes across' and friend must have got the wrong message as she's 'hot and friendly.'
I said that women can't win, we're either cold and standoffish or friendly and therefore gagging for it.
Grrr I'm still angry

I don't think that's necessarily sexist. If she is flirtatious then perhaps he's got the wrong idea. She's an adult, all she has to do is text him back and say 'Sorry, not interested.'

This guy hasn't actually done anything wrong, he's single and has expressed interest in her in quite a polite way. It's not his problem if his ex is still holding a torch and he's not obliged to be celibate until it suits her.

Seriously, back off both of them. It all sounds very childish.