To think there is no right way to explain why she hasnt got a daddy and to hate him for it

[Bugsymalonemumof2]

I have a three year old and a 2 year old. Split withe extremely abusive ex when youngest was 10 weeks. Finished family court proceedings jan this year with a no contact court order..

This week my three year old got upset abd asked me why she hasn't got a daddy. Nothing I can say is right, there is no way to explain what he is without hurting my little girl, there is no way to hide what he has done or she will blame me for the rest of her life.

I hate this and I hate him for doing this to us.

Aibu to just not know where to go from here?

I was in a similar situation to you, OP. It's impossible in a way to give advice because the situation is horrendously unfair no matter what way you look on it.

With my kids, I was just very matter of fact; all families are different. Their father made choices that had consequences. That was/is no one's fault but his. We all make our own choices. They can't understand why he made the choices he did because they're so very different to him. They're good, clever kids and I'm proud of them.

I've stuck to that, always. I don't want them ever to feel to blame or to feel that they are a part of something bad. It's so hard...

I don't know if you've ever seen this book? I rate it really highly. It talks about how everyone is different. Different homes, hobbies, family members, traditions... Loads to look at and talk about on each page and reinforces that there is no "normal".

www.waterstones.com/book/the-great-big-book-of-families/mary-hoffman/ros-asquith/9781847805874?awc=3787_1540757530_34c213772667ecf30a073b391c25534b&utm_source=176013&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Shopping+FM